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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26588758">The Legend of Sparrow Jones, Book 1, Part 1: In which Sparrow Jones has more to learn after all</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chord/pseuds/Chord'>Chord</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Legend of Sparrow Jones [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dystopia, Enemies to Friends, F/F, Falling In Love, For Science!, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Girls Kissing, Global Warming, Hogwarts, Muggle/Wizard Relations, Near Future, Post-Apocalypse, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Nuclear War, Slow Burn, Statute of Secrecy (Harry Potter), Teen Romance, Underage Kissing, Wizarding World (Harry Potter)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:23:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>69,155</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26588758</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chord/pseuds/Chord</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dark Wizards are not as dangerous as someone with a heart of gold who wants to change the world. </p><p>Sparrow begins her school year with noble goals, and the fire of youth in her heart. She sees her land in decay, she sees her people in misery, she has a tool in her hand that could bring life to the hills again, and yet, if she uses it, she knows the law will oppose her for the sake of upholding Secrecy.</p><p>She spends the first part of this first volume, her fourth year of schooling, in coming to a greater love and humility, lest all perish for her noble goals. She must admit that she may be wrong, must be willing to seek consensus, must be willing to surrender to everyone's decision.</p><p>The trouble is, everyone means everyone, including the people she can't tell about magic.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Original Character/Original Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Legend of Sparrow Jones [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2050227</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Close to the End of the Dry Season</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Once upon a time, I wrote a work, and I called it good, and I posted it here. Then I decided that it was not good enough, and I made a second draft, and replaced the first draft with the new one. And I called it good.</p><p>Then I went back over it and decided that it was not good enough after all, and I made a third draft, and yet -- there were already kudos and bookmarks on the second draft! And I had already apologized for the first revision! How could I erase it now?</p><p>So I decided to post this draft as a new work, and eventually orphan the older version, because I did not wish to take it away from those who had left their mark. And because I need to make the format of this story smoother, as opposed to cramming upwards of a hundred chapters in one work.</p><p>So here is the new draft, and it is the final draft. It is done. It is finished. It is set in stone. No more chipping away. I've had it. I am done with revising part 1. It's time to stop. No more.</p><p>May this work please you as it as pleased me.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which we meet a few friends, and Jill must learn the difference between justice and retribution.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Beneath the blackened shell of a tree trunk, in the dust of the late Dry Season, upon the high hills overlooking the castle of many towers, sat a young witch named Sparrow Jones.</p><p>She had never actually seen a sparrow, nor indeed had she seen many birds, outside of old muggle books. Perhaps her mother had simply been trying to evoke something she had remembered from way back when. As it was, Sparrow sometimes wondered if "Starling" wouldn’t fit better. That was a bird closer to her skin color anyway, and Mother always said she could see the stars reflected in Sparrow’s eyes, no matter where or when. But, Sparrow she was and would be. And she tried to sing so prettily of what could be.</p><p>Some of the students called her the African Swallow, which always confused her. Something to do with always bringing her gifts to her fellow students. But what she brought them she called a necessity, considering their behavior. Not a gift.</p><p>And in an era of sunlight and windblown dust, when the Hogwarts Lake shrank to the Hogwarts Pond every April, she could hardly ignore anyone’s safety. She had ignored the safety of her people once; she would never do so again.</p><p>Fortunately or unfortunately, one of them was <em>not</em> ignoring her. From this vantage point Sparrow could observe the walkway between the Astronomy Tower and the Dragon Tower. Someone was there, climbing onto a broom and kicking off.</p><p>Most people would have been nearly invisible at this distance, hidden as they were by the haze of dust and the height of the battlements – but there was something about Jillian Patil that was always visible at a far greater distance than most, and it was not merely her height.</p><p>Which was, to be fair, considerable. Despite the fact that Sparrow and Jill were both fourth-years, Jill had already grown taller than Sparrow, and taller than some of the teachers, at that. When she inclined her head to let Sparrow press their foreheads together, she had to incline pretty far. Then again, Sparrow’s distinctive lack of height made the distance even greater.</p><p>As for her physical presence, well, that was also visible from a great distance. In her second year she had been able to hang on to a bludger without letting it go; last year she had been able to hold one in each arm; last week she had gotten the number up to three. Sometimes the Hufflepuff quidditch captain called her Jill Of the Mighty Shoulders. When she wasn’t calling her Jill The Cannonball, which, while evocative, only referred to a single incident of smashing straight through the wood of the stands and not a repeated pattern, so really the nickname was terribly unfair.</p><p>"Jill the Bowling Ball" was a more fair description for what happened when she was in a Bad Mood and the hallway was crowded.</p><p>But there was something about her that was clear and present even if she had been as short and slight as Sparrow. A certain clarity, where everyone else was hazy. A certain brightness, where everyone else was dim.</p><p>Well. Not everyone. Cormac McKinnon was easy to spot at a distance, nearly as clear and bright as Jill – although in a crowd he was a bit harder to see, because he was only a little taller than Sparrow, and Sparrow was the sort of person who needed a boost to be able to see above everyone else’s head. But sometimes Sparrow could spot a head of hearthfire-orange hair between all the gaggle, and know where her friend was. More often than not there would be a familiar umber face nearby, visible above the crowd.</p><p>Even if Jill had not her curious clarity, even if she had taken a polyjuice potion to look like someone else entirely, her eyes would still have been a dead giveaway. Those eyes always looked like there was some fire behind them. Some people said she could light a match with a glance. But if that were true, then the time last year where everyone had called her "Himalaya" for being an Indian mountain would have seen many people set on fire. Perhaps everyone involved was lucky it had only lasted a week, before they wised up.</p><p>But for all that reputation, Jill never directed that sort of gaze at Sparrow. Not even now.</p><p>Jill’s feet kicked up dust as she skidded to a halt a little ways down the slope.</p><p>"Sparrow," said Jill, "what in Potter’s name are you doing out here? How did you even get here without a broom?"</p><p>"What are <em>you</em> doing out here?" said Sparrow. "Shouldn’t you be breaking up fights?"</p><p>"I thought you had made that your job."</p><p>"We both do it pretty well in our own ways. But otherwise I’m an awful witch and I’m stupid and bad at transfiguration and that was probably the worst bit of transfiguration anyone has ever seen."</p><p>"And that was hours ago," said Jill. "Did you just…fly up here and sit for hours?" Sparrow shook her head.</p><p>"You clambered up all these rocks just to sit here and brood under a bunch of dead trees?"</p><p>"It’s not just a bunch of dead trees," said Sparrow. "It’s a graveyard. A graveyard for something besides people."</p><p>Jill rolled her eyes. "Not <em>that</em> subject again."</p><p>"That subject again," said Sparrow. "Compared to what I have seen of the Paradise Gardens, one might say this land is ugly. It isn’t, exactly, but it is stark. Harsh, deadly, and yet…" She peered into the far distance, over the castle and out to the hills beyond. "A spectral beauty, for those haunted by the memory of elder days. A sharp beauty, all deep shadows and gleaming rock faces. Desert, deserted. But one wonders if it is truly dead, or only sleeping." She drew her knees up to her chest, and rested her arms upon them. "The world has come back from worse."</p><p>"I can hardly imagine what you would consider worse!" said Jill. "But this is the world we have now. If you would change it, you would have us drop the Statute of Secrecy. I keep telling you to drop that subject before it burns your hands."</p><p>"Yeah, well, you didn’t have to come out here and hear me talk about it."</p><p>"Yes I did." Jill stepped up the slope and sat down next to Sparrow. "I had to come out here and fetch you, at any rate. Before you missed too many more classes."</p><p>"What," said Sparrow, "am I on thin ice?"</p><p>"Thin what now?"</p><p>"Come on, Jill. You’ve seen ice cubes."</p><p>"Yeah but…those are cubes. How can ice be thin? How would you be on it?"</p><p>"It’s an old muggle expression," said Sparrow. "December used to mean winter, and winter meant lakes freezing over, and…people could walk on it. Somehow. I don’t know exactly. But sometimes the ice was too thin and they would fall through."</p><p>"Fine. You’re on thin ice and I came out to get you before you fell through."</p><p>"Oh, you’re always taking care of me."</p><p>"Gladly!"</p><p>"But this is a bit more effort than giving me a spare quill," said Sparrow. "Even a bit more effort than covering for me when I was three minutes late to Astronomy class."</p><p>"Yeah, well, you’re always covering for me when a Fanged Frisbee flies at my head. And covering for everyone else. You’re always taking care of me and everyone, even more than I deserve. Although I would not say that I or anyone deserved a blast-ended skrewt. How on earth did you know what those look like?"</p><p>"I didn’t."</p><p>"Professor Budge would say that’s some highly skilled transfiguration, then. To transfigure something you’ve never seen before."</p><p>"Are you trying to spin-doctor my fiasco?"</p><p>"If it gets you back to the castle faster? Yes. Come on, Sparrow. You’re farther out than you’ve ever been here. I think we might even be off the grounds."</p><p>"What, are you my prison warden or something?"</p><p>"Jail for Sparrow," said Jill, as she put an arm over Sparrow’s shoulders.</p><p>"Oh no!" Sparrow squealed. "I have been captured! By a strong and handsome witch!"</p><p>"Ho ho ho," said Jill, as she dragged Sparrow into her lap and wrapped her arms around her. "Jail for Sparrow for a thousand years. Mwa ha ha ha."</p><p>"I don’t mind being stuck in your lap that long," said Sparrow. "Although you might get bored."</p><p>"Maybe."</p><p>"But I might have been out here for a few more hours if you hadn’t come to fetch me."</p><p>"Oh?"</p><p>"It took me a few hours to get up these rocks, the sun is high and bright…I forgot to bring a sun shade and I can’t exactly transfigure anything into a parasol, so I’m risking sunburn on the way back."</p><p>"Seriously? Sparrow, the sun could never burn you."</p><p>"Yeah, I bet that’s what people say about you. But you get burned when you’re out on the quidditch pitch for more than a few hours, and I do if I’m wandering under the sun too long. So."</p><p>"Is that the real reason?" said Jill.</p><p>"No."</p><p>"You’re scared of climbing back down the rocks."</p><p>"Yep."</p><p>"Waiting for me you carry you back on the broom?"</p><p>"Maybe."</p><p>"Despite the fact that you couldn’t get a broom to bring you out here?"</p><p>"Well maybe I can hang on to your ankles."</p><p>"You with your wimpy little noodle arms? Maybe, maybe not. We’ll have to figure something out here. We could try to find a couple Rhiannons and ride them back, maybe?"</p><p>"Those birds always unsettle me." Sparrow glanced at the slope. "Actually…I have an idea." She leapt up from Jill’s lap, pointed her wand at her feet and said, "<em>Protego!</em>"</p><p>"What are you – Sparrow, wait – "</p><p>But it was too late. Sparrow was already lit up with a yellow glow from below. She had created a translucent saucer-shaped shield beneath her feet, and now she had pushed off from the tree.</p><p>She only realized too late that she did not entirely know what she was doing. She had seen plumes of dirt running down the hills as she passed by them on the Hogwarts Express, and had heard from the other muggleborn children that those were muggles going Dirt Surfing; she had listened to the basic description and wondered if she might have an opportunity. But here, today, was the first opportunity she had, which meant that she had no idea what to expect.</p><p>What she got was a much rougher ride than she expected, because, as it turned out, her shield was not a very good shock absorber when she was standing directly on it. It was very good for skimming over the dust and the pebbles and the rocks but that was mostly because it was distributing the impact across its entire face, which was very good because the pebbles were occasionally boulders. Still, by the time she got about a quarter of the way down her legs were already shaking. She had not thought to fix her feet to the shield.</p><p>"God Dammit Sparrow," shouted Jill behind her. Jill was on the broom and trying to catch up. "There are times when you make it even more difficult to keep you safe!"</p><p>"Pick me up any time you want!" shouted Sparrow.</p><p>Which was hopefully soon because there was a rather large boulder lying ahead. Sparrow desperately tried to alter her course, and discovered that, as her shield was perfectly circular, there was very little she could do to influence its direction. She could either fall off the shield and scrape herself very badly, or run smack into something that would not get out of her way.</p><p>The boulder drew closer. Jill had not yet caught up to Sparrow yet. Sparrow was close to slamming into solid rock when she heard Jill’s roar, and then there was the impact – not from the front but from behind, as she felt herself swept up by a beefy arm. Her legs missed the boulder by a few centimeters as she was borne into the sky, dangling from a grip that held her tight.</p><p>Unfortunately this lasted about as long as it took to clear the boulder, for the broom suddenly pitched downwards. Sparrow cast her shield once more, and suddenly there were two witches skidding down the rocky slope, juddering and shuddering all the way to the bottom.</p><p>The shield vanished, dumping Sparrow and Jill into the dirt.</p><p>Sparrow looked up the slope. There was a cloud of dust in a line from the dead trees to where they lay.</p><p>"What the heck happened to your broomstick skills?" said Sparrow.</p><p>"They work better when I’m on a broomstick that actually works," said Jill. She picked herself up out of the dirt and dusted herself off. Then she picked Sparrow up out of the dirt and dusted her off. "This thing, what is this, a Cleansweep Seven? Barely keeps me in the air. The Nimbus Plus Ultra is fit to carry <em>my</em> weight. But it is currently being repaired because someone put a Wobbling Jinx on it."</p><p>"Bet I know who."</p><p>"Oh, don’t even go there. She wouldn’t dare."</p><p>"Yes she would! She jinxed my school robes last week to smell like a fresh fart!"</p><p>"She wouldn’t dare do something like that to <em>me</em>. To undermine her primary dueling partner, in an underhanded manner – "</p><p>"You keep saying she’s a fiendish opponent."</p><p>"<em>On</em> the field of battle. I do not like to think she would turn our rivalry there into enmity beyond it. I like to think she has her honor as I have mine."</p><p>"A Slytherin with honor," said Sparrow. "Sure. Right. The prankster queen of the school has honor. Pull the other one, why don’t you?"</p><p>"Never mind," said Jill. "We have to get back to the castle on the double before we get caught." And so Sparrow found herself sitting in front of Jill on the ancient Cleansweep Seven, holding onto the broom handle for dear life in case the thing tried to buck her off, which was less likely with Jill’s arms pinning her in place. The broom could not lift the two much more than a centimeter above the dirt, nor could it go fast, but at least it could go. And it only wobbled now and then.</p><p>"You know," said Sparrow as they flew beside the lakebed, "I feel like this broom is just being disobedient."</p><p>"How do you figure?"</p><p>"It brought you to me without a hitch, and now that I’m sitting on the broom it’s acting like it’s under a crushing load? I probably weigh a twentieth of what you do."</p><p>"Maybe you’re the straw that broke the camel’s back," said Jill. "Maybe it’s an elderly broom and we’ve made it do too much work. Be gentle with the broom, dear Sparrow. It has lived for so long."</p><p>"Right," said Sparrow. "Wonder why the school never replaced them?"</p><p>"Same reason we have a scholarship fund for students who can’t afford wands," said a stern voice in front of them. "Wood can be conjured as easily as food, but magical wood cannot, and it is far more difficult to come by these days." There before them stood Minerva McGonagall.</p><p>An old woman she was, wrinkled of face and white of hair. But there are other markers of age, and the Headmistress wore, as she always wore, the kind of expression that made one wonder if she had ever been young. Some old people that Sparrow had met acted like they had been young, but the Headmistress never did.</p><p>McGonagall cleared her throat. "Might I ask you what exactly you were doing to raise a plume of dust high enough for muggles to see it from afar, and how you got up there?"</p><p>"It’s my fault," said Jill, "I thought we might go out and have some fun."</p><p>"Miss Patil, I do not need to have any talent with legilimency to know when a student is lying to me. If you wish to lie to me I recommend that you be significantly more clever about it. Sparrow, what exactly were you doing up there?"</p><p>"I was…can we talk about it in your office?"</p><p>"I was just about to suggest such a thing."</p><p>…</p><p>The office of the headmistress occupied the entire floor space of the upper part of a tower. Which tower, Sparrow never knew. They tended to shuffle around. Today the view out the tall window was of the mountains.</p><p>The office consisted of many, many bookcases, and not for browsing, it seemed, for they were all behind glass. And there were portraits, many portraits. Pictures of the headmasters of the school. Sparrow wondered if they went all the way back to the beginning.</p><p>It also had a low table in front of a fireplace, with chairs and settees sitting around it.</p><p>"So that’s it then," said the Headmistress, as she set her tea down. "Despite your low level of skill with Transfiguration, you would remake the world in your own image."</p><p>Sparrow shook her head. "That would be rude. I just…want to bring the trees back, that’s all. Or at least let the grounds here look a little nicer! That would be the smallest thing but – "</p><p>"But it would also tip off muggles to the fact that something odd was going on around here," said Jill, "and they would investigate."</p><p>Sparrow’s observations from the window of the Hogwarts Express never showed a human habitation within forty miles of this place. But then, she had seen an aeroplane in the sky yesterday. She sipped her tea and said nothing.</p><p>"I understand your desire to heal all the wounds of the world," said McGonagall. "You are how old, fifteen?"</p><p>"Fourteen," said Sparrow.</p><p>"Ah. Well. Still at that age when you are full of fire. And with a wand in your hand, why you could do as you please and never mind the consequences! You could make all the world bow before you, in the name of justice!"</p><p>"You are alluding to Gellert Grindelwald?"</p><p>"No," said McGonagall. "I had forgotten that fellow."</p><p>"Tempting," said Jill. "To bestride the world and dispense justice with a wave of one’s hand. I have to hold myself back from doing such things here."</p><p>"As I recall," said McGonagall, "you spent half of your first year getting into trouble for that business, and occasionally still indulge yourself."</p><p>"Just as I said. Hard to help people who do not want help."</p><p>"Precisely," said McGonagall. She sipped her tea.</p><p>"But Headmistress," said Sparrow, "if we don’t at least try to help then – what happens to muggles?"</p><p>"They struggle," said McGonagall, "and they survive. Hopefully until the world heals itself."</p><p>"And…does that include my family?"</p><p>McGonagall looked taken aback by this question. She set her tea down. "My apologies, Sparrow. I…had forgotten that you are a muggleborn. Your shield displays enough magical power that – "</p><p>"What exactly does that have to do with it?" said Jill.</p><p>McGonagall shook her head. "Nothing," she said. "Nothing at all, really. Just old habits of thought. As to answer your question…I can hardly expect you to avoid saving your own family."</p><p>"Not just my family," said Sparrow. "My street. My neighborhood. My city. My island. My planet. I’m not interested in drawing limits around who I help, Headmistress. I have…shall we say, very personal motivations here, I will admit that. But they lead me towards refusing to be picky about whom I defend. Even if that be muggles."</p><p>"And in so doing, you would wreck the Statute of Secrecy."</p><p>"<em>Fuck</em> the Statute of Secrecy."</p><p>For a moment, the room was filled with a chilly silence, despite the heat of the day.</p><p>Sparrow was frozen in place, having realized what she had said, and where she had said it, as soon as the words had left her lips.</p><p>Jill was the first to break the ice. "Yes," she said, "I have been getting the sense that you had that opinion, over the past three years."</p><p>"As have I," said McGonagall. She fixed Sparrow with a steely glare. "And I should remind you, Miss Jones, that you are already in a precarious position. Do not stamp your feet when you are standing on thin ice."</p><p>Sparrow’s posture deflated slightly. "Sorry, Headmistress. And, um. I’m sorry for skipping classes and stepping off the school grounds and nearly getting myself injured."</p><p>"Very good," said McGonagall. "I will accept your apology. For that, I will only dock you two hundred points from Hufflepuff – "</p><p>Jill winced.</p><p>" – and assign you detention with Professor Budge for a week instead of a month."</p><p>"Thank you," said Sparrow.</p><p>"Though I will recommend that you –"</p><p>"I will apologize to every professor whose class I skipped."</p><p>"I was going to say, apologize to Professor Wimble for upending his Transfiguration class."</p><p>"She said sorry as she was running out of the room," said Jill.</p><p>"A full apology," said McGonagall.</p><p>Sparrow snorted. "Professor Wimble is – "</p><p>"Someone <em>I hired.</em> If you wish to cast aspersions on him, you cast aspersions on me." Sparrow winced.</p><p>"And do not be so ashamed of your skill level," said McGonagall. "This is a school, and you are here to learn. You are young enough that you have plenty of time. Do not worry about being behind everyone else as long as you are doing the work to learn. Do you understand?"</p><p>"I think so. It’s just…hard to believe sometimes. Sometimes I think I’ll never get anything at all. And then I can’t help anyone. That’s why I went up the hill. I wanted to apologize to the dead trees for failing them."</p><p>"Ah well," said McGonagall. "When we apologize to the dead, we are mostly apologizing to ourselves. As for your ambitions, I understand your motivations, and I agree with them, to a certain degree. But your proposed methods are…not even half-baked yet. You have not even put your ingredients together. You are of an age when you have mighty desires and few solid ideas of how to achieve them."</p><p>"Are you telling me to grow up?"</p><p>"No. I am saying that, if you would achieve this towering ambition of yours, you must begin by heeding this warning: you cannot change anyone’s life for them. If you remake the world without so much as a by-your-leave, you will cause immeasurable suffering, regardless of your intentions. There have been many, Wizards and muggles alike, who took the road you would take, and only taught the world that they should have left well enough alone. Do you understand?"</p><p>Sparrow nodded.</p><p>"Then, our business is finished. Run along to your next class." Sparrow left the office with her head held a little higher than when she entered.</p><p>…</p><p>"Two hundred house points lost in the first two weeks of term," said Jill. "I think you’re going to catch a lot of heat for that one."</p><p>"Well don’t go shouting that it was my fault," said Sparrow. She spotted a gaggle of first-years looking decidedly confused. And she had an idea as to why. "What ho?" she said, as she approached them. "A company of young squires, lost in the labyrinth, without any Castle Maps? Perhaps I can assist you."</p><p>The first-years looked slightly wary of Sparrow, and terrified of something behind Sparrow. Ah, well. Jill had that effect on the wee little ones. "If I might be able to assist you – "</p><p>"Are you going to cast a shield at us?" said one of the first-years.</p><p>"No?" Sparrow frowned. "Why would I?"</p><p>"Someone was saying you cast a shield at a lot of people for no reason."</p><p>"Oh!" Sparrow laughed. "They fail to understand. I am simply trying to keep the peace around here. Now, how did you all manage to lose your Castle Maps?"</p><p>"We didn’t," said one of the first-years. "But we were told that the layout only changes at midnight, so we thought the Big Map on the ground floor would be enough to get us to the Transfiguration classroom, but it sent us in the wrong direction and – "</p><p>"Have you checked your personal Castle Maps yet?" All of the first-years shook their heads.</p><p>Sparrow raised her eyebrows as if in invitation.</p><p>One of the first-years took their map out of their pocket, unfolded it, and scanned it for a moment. Then they said, "That’s it. The Big Map doesn’t even have this corridor."</p><p>"Someone tampered with the Big Map," said Jill. "Just to misdirect the first-years."</p><p>"I bet I know who," said Sparrow.</p><p>"Yes," said Jill, "this time I do believe it is her."</p><p>"Heads up," shouted someone nearby, and in that instant there was a glowing golden shield surrounding Jill, Sparrow, and the first-years. Something brown splatted against the shield. A foul odor reached Sparrow’s nose.</p><p>There was a gaggle of older students laughing nearby.</p><p>Sparrow and Jill exchanged glances. Sparrow nodded. She dropped the shield, and Jill marched toward the older students.</p><p>Upon seeing Jillian Patil heading their way, they dropped their laughter and their smiles, and hurried off. One of them, a tall and gangly witch named Cleo Sassoon, dropped a sheet of parchment in their haste. Jill picked it up.</p><p>As one of the students turned back to get it, Jill met their eyes. Then she glanced at the parchment. It burst into flame. The ashes fell to the floor.</p><p>"<em>Jill!</em>" cried Sparrow. She rushed over to the ashes and cast a repairing charm on them, then handed the parchment back to Cleo, who had been standing there in shock. The student unrolled it and frowned. They handed the parchment back to Sparrow.</p><p>It was covered in writing. "How on earth did you do that?" whispered Cleo.</p><p>"Do what?" said Sparrow. "Bring the writing back?"</p><p>"The Reparing Charm doesn’t work like that!"</p><p>"Maybe I’ve had a lot of practice," said Sparrow. She turned back to Jill, who was sitting on the floor facing a curious figure.</p><p>Professor Flutwick always puzzled Sparrow. She had spent many years wondering about the man, without ever daring to ask him anything directly. Something about him seemed Off. Maybe it was the shape of his nose, or his brown beard, or the fact that he was a foot shorter than Sparrow. Or maybe it was the fact that there once had been someone at this school who looked nearly like him. Whatever had happened to that man, Flutwick had managed to fill his tiny shoes perfectly.</p><p>" -- utterly out of line," Flutwick was saying. "And this is the second time I have caught you doing such a thing. I have warned you and I shall not warn you again. Fifty points from Gryffindor – "</p><p>"Hufflepuff," said Jill.</p><p>"Excuse me. Fifty points to Gryffindor. Fifty points from Hufflepuff and you shall have detention with me this evening."</p><p>"Come on Professor," said Jill. "You let the students bring dung bombs into the school and you punish me for doing something about it?"</p><p>"No," said Flutwick. "I <em>would have</em> punished those students if you hadn’t forced them to escape. I am punishing you for presuming to assign a punishment on your own. I am assuming that you just torched someone’s essay. Even if not, that paper belonged to them."</p><p>Jill’s face fell.</p><p>"Have I made myself clear?" said Flutwick.</p><p>"You have," muttered Jill. "I will see you in your office tonight then." When Jill rose, and turned back to the First years, they were still standing there. Some of them were shivering.</p><p>"Well, my fine feathered friends," said Jill, "Back to the matter. I believe you must trust the map that has been on you this whole time…what, do I really look that scary right now?"</p><p>The first-years were not-so-subtly backing away. "No?" said one of them. "Fine. You look fine. Very pretty. Excuse us." They all hurried down the corridor.</p><p>Jill could not make herself as short as Sparrow without the aid of some clever magic, but she could shrink a bit as her posture deflated.</p><p>"You do look very pretty," said Sparrow.</p><p>"So I have been told," muttered Jill.</p><p>Sparrow put a hand on her arm. "Want a word of comfort?"</p><p>"Sure."</p><p>"There’s only so much you can do to change how people see you."</p><p>"Forgive me if I am not reassured by that idea."</p><p>"I mean, there are things you can do. Avoid blowing up at people – "</p><p>"Believe me when I say I do my best."</p><p>" – and recognize what counts as justice, and what counts as retribution."</p><p>"That’s fair enough."</p><p>"But as for all else, don’t try to squash yourself into a space made for someone else. Alright? You take up space. That’s how it is."</p><p>"What if I use a shrinking charm?"</p><p>"I think you would be tempted to shrink yourself so much that you vanish," said Sparrow. "I’d rather you be big strong Jill than a meek little thing. Being little is <em>my</em> job. And I like the size of your arms anyway. They are good for hugs."</p><p>"My arms and the rest of me," said Jill. "Are you asking for a Jill Hug?" Sparrow nodded.</p><p>Jill picked up Sparrow and wrapped her in her arms. It was always a surprise to Sparrow that Jill managed to avoid squeezing all the air out of her lungs, but maybe Jill really did have a level of self-control that Sparrow could not match.</p><p>They set off down the stairs for the charms lesson, arm in arm.</p><p>…</p><p>That evening, Sparrow had her first round of detention with Professor Budge.</p><p>It was a short one, as detentions go, especially since the first thing she did upon entering the Defensive Arts classroom was apologize profusely for missing the day’s lesson. Budge had said he was surprised to receive an apology instead of surly grumbling, but Sparrow knew this was a polite lie; she had been a favorite student of his for years enough that he knew how she operated. Perhaps this was why her detention that evening was merely to scourgify some of the more sticky messes that the day’s classes had left, which, while it was a bit of an effort, was hardly drudgery.</p><p>"I do have one more thing to ask," said the Professor, as Sparrow was about to leave the classroom.</p><p>She turned. "Yes?"</p><p>"I would like you to perform the charm <em>cave inimicum</em> upon yourself."</p><p>"Okay?" Sparrow drew her wand, whirled it about her head, and cast the spell. To an outside observer, she was now perfectly hidden from view, as if wearing an invisibility cloak – although for some reason those things never actually worked for her. People could always spot her underneath the damn things. But she could only afford the cheaper ones anyway.</p><p>Professor budge circled her slowly. "Hm," he said, from behind her. "Interesting. From this angle, and only this angle, I can faintly see your outline. I wonder if that is simply you, or…hm. Alright, let’s try something else. You may let the charm go."</p><p>Sparrow dropped the concealment charm. "What now?"</p><p>"The disarming charm."</p><p>"But – "</p><p>"Oh, don’t give me that look! It would only harm me if you were making me fall backwards off a broom or something. Aren’t you the girl who pays attention in History class? You must know why Harry Potter favored that spell."</p><p>"He didn’t want to hurt anyone either."</p><p>"Precisely. Honestly, you and your aversion to curses…just cast the Disarming Charm at me." He stood with feet apart in a ready dueling position, and held his wand upward. "I’ll be fine, don’t worry."</p><p>Sparrow pointed her wand at Budge, covered her eyes with her hand and said, <em>"Expeliarmus."</em></p><p>After a moment, she took her hand off her eyes.</p><p>Budge was standing there in precisely the position he had been standing, save for the fact that his wand was out of his hand.</p><p>It was on the floor at his feet.</p><p>"Hm," said Budge, as he bent to pick up his wand. "So you know how to cast both of those spells, but you are rather rusty. That is odd. I recall when you managed to master both of them in a single day. Have you…ever cast them since those days?"</p><p>Sparrow shook her head.</p><p>"Show me your shield spell," said Budge.</p><p>"<em>Protego!</em>" Sparrow produced a glowing golden disc in the air. She flicked her wand and it soared away to the opposite end of the room. She flicked her wand again and it circled the room.</p><p>"Hold it there if you would," said Budge. "I want to stack things on top of it." Sparrow flicked her wand, and the shield fell horizontal. She watched as Professor Budge stacked one book upon it, then another, then another, then another. By the time he was on to the third shelf of books Sparrow’s arm began to feel ever so slightly strained.</p><p>"Getting tired yet?" said Budge.</p><p>Sparrow nodded.</p><p>"You may dismiss the shield now," said Budge.</p><p>The stack of books fell to the floor with a mighty thud, then a few lesser thuds as some of them tumbled off from their position close to the ceiling. "Marvelous," said Budge. "One would think your hand would break before the shield does.</p><p>"That isn’t true," said Sparrow. "I’ve had occasion to test that."</p><p>"Ah yes," said Budge. "The incident with the falling stones. Well, I still had no idea you could direct the shield’s position now. It seems you <em>have</em> been working on that one, if some of the complaints of the students are correct."</p><p>"Complaints?"</p><p>"They call you a spoilsport sometimes, yes. But I am delighted to see my favorite student obtain a higher level of skill in this one charm than I have ever seen in all my travels. As for the rest…you have not practiced them at all. Why?"</p><p>"If I would protect everyone," said Sparrow, "perhaps a shield is all I need."</p><p>"And you have never managed to cast an offensive spell."</p><p>"Yes? I refuse to harm anyone at this school. Or anywhere."</p><p>"What if you have to?"</p><p>"I am afraid the matter is non-negotiable," said Sparrow. She turned to leave the classroom.</p><p>"Wait just a moment, Sparrow!"</p><p>She turned again. "What?"</p><p>"You would hold so fast to your principles that you demand even reality bend to them. That is…perfectly characteristic, I suppose. And well in keeping with anyone your age. But not exactly realistic."</p><p>"We are Wizards," said Sparrow. "We are in the business of making reality step out of our way."</p><p>"Physical reality," said Professor Budge, "but not social reality, or…political reality. If you are in a position where you need to save someone – "</p><p>"Then I do what I can without hurting anyone."</p><p>"That is just what I was trying to ask you about," said Budge. "What gave you the idea that the Shield Charm was all you needed?"</p><p>"Personal," said Sparrow. "Long story, never mind."</p><p>"Can you work on the other defensive spells?" said Budge. "Just to make sure that you’re not rusty. Ah ha, there’s an idea. Let’s have your detention be basic remedial work with the defensive spells I have taught you."</p><p>"That’s, um…less tedious than what I expected."</p><p>"Well what else could I have you do that I couldn’t do? Polish the school trophies? Write lines? I keep telling McGonagall that the whole business of detention is archaic, but she doesn’t listen. Anyway, meet me here tomorrow evening at the same time and we will get started."</p><p>Sparrow saluted, and left.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I am not certain that this story's portrayal of global warming is entirely accurate. After all, I do not know what political events will occur here in the real world to alter the course of the next sixty years, and I have not reviewed the scientific predictions in detail because they are scary. The shape of this world is mostly an extrapolation of what I see happening around me in New England, what with summers that are already dry and winters that are already rainy. </p><p>I hope that my portrayal is more bleak than the reality.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. That Wicked Little Witch</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which we meet a few more friends, and lose one.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning was the class that Sparrow had been dreading. Transfiguration. This would have to be a bigger apology than last evening’s.</p>
<p>But as she and Jill made their way along the fifth-floor corridor, she was distracted by a bag of flour that emptied above her head.</p>
<p>Not that it actually reached anyone’s head, of course. The shield that had caused Sparrow so much trouble yesterday had saved her today.</p>
<p>"I bet I know who did that one," said Jill.</p>
<p>"Do you really," said a familiar voice. And from behind a pillar stepped Jocasta Carrow.</p>
<p>Sparrow always wondered how the girl managed to sneak up on her like that. She was Visible in the same way Jill was. Clear from a great distance, not giving off light yet oddly illuminated. Not nearly as tall as Jill, but taller than Sparrow, enough that she <em>could</em> be seen over the crowd, just slightly – and her raven hair framing a face the color of sun-bleached bones, falling in wavy ringlets down to the small of her back, certainly aided that visibility. There were many times when Sparrow could look through a crowd of students, see a face with deep dark eyes searching hers, and know precisely whom those eyes belonged to.</p>
<p>So how on earth was it that <em>this</em> girl was able to sneak up on her? Perhaps she was not very good at paying attention.</p>
<p>"You," said Sparrow.</p>
<p>"Me," said Jocasta.</p>
<p>"Where did you get a bag of flour anyway?"</p>
<p>"I didn’t," said Jocasta. "Nice shield charm, though. You’re always quick on the draw. I’ve had to get more creative because of you. It’s no fun tossing stuff at people anymore."</p>
<p>"I might say you’ve forced me to become quicker on the draw over the years," said Sparrow. "But the truth is, everyone has. I have to break up childish quarrels all the time around here." She glanced right and saw a couple of students nearby, engaged in a battle of poking each other. She flicked her wand to gently deposit the bowl on the ground, then flicked her wand at the students to raise a translucent glowing disk between them. They looked around, spotted Sparrow, and glowered at her.</p>
<p>"Ah yes," said Jocasta. "Always foiling me and everyone. Well. If I’m not the only one who causes you trouble then how do you know this one was my doing?"</p>
<p>Jill shifted a bit closer to Sparrow. "I can tell when it’s you," she said. "Nobody comes up with pranks quite the way you do."</p>
<p>"Oh, is that a compliment?" said Jocasta. "That’s odd. You have never complimented me once over the past three years. What’s got into you now?"</p>
<p>Sparrow glanced at Jill, whose face looked a bit flushed.</p>
<p>Jill shook her head. "I don’t know what you’re – "</p>
<p>"Are you trying to flirt with me?"</p>
<p>Jill crossed her arms and stood a bit more straight. "Fie upon thee, my archrival! I shall vanquish thee in the dueling club tonight!"</p>
<p>"<em>Archrival?</em> Now that is definitely a compliment."</p>
<p>"Never mind!" Jill departed through the classroom door.</p>
<p>Sparrow and Jocasta watched her go. "What a pity," said Jocasta. "I enjoyed the flattery. Alas, this was not my idea. I think this one was a bit…pedestrian."</p>
<p>"My fault," said another familiar voice. And Cormac McKinnon appeared out of thin air.</p>
<p>"Nice chameleon charm Kinney," said Jocasta.</p>
<p>"I do not take compliments from you," said Cormac. "You...dark prankster Wizard, you."</p>
<p>Cormac McKinnon was a stout lad, paler than anyone else in the school, plain of face, neither handsome like Jill nor pretty like Jocasta, and yet – there was that Something about him that made him stand out in Sparrow’s eyes, just like Jill. That he was pale in a school full of tawny people, that certainly made him stand out, but then, so was Percival Bulstrode. That he had such orange hair made him easy to spot, but in a school where changing one’s hair color was a matter of momentary wandwork, there were always a fair few people trying a new color today, and yet these people did not Stand Out the same way that Cormac or Jill or Jocasta did. That he was a friend, well, that certainly helped, one always noticed friends amidst the throng of strangers – but Jocasta was <em>not</em> a friend. So what exactly <em>was</em> going on?</p>
<p>And then there was his accent, which Sparrow could not place, try as she might. That was not a matter of visibility, but it was a sign that he was coming around the corner. And there was his smile, which could light up a room. That might have done it. But Jill did not have that kind of smile. So whatever Jill and Cormac and Jocasta shared, it was not something outward.</p>
<p>"My apologies," said Cormac. "I was waiting here hoping to get Jocasta, and…you tripped the trigger instead. I guess I should have thought of a different method."</p>
<p>"Is that so?" said a voice from the classroom door. The door had been transfigured to look like a human face, and it spoke. "Mister McKinnon, pranking people. Ten points from Hufflepuff."</p>
<p>"Tsk tsk," said Jocasta. "Never admit fault when you prank someone, Kinney old bean. You’ve much to learn. I could teach you."</p>
<p>"I’m done with pranks," said Cormac.</p>
<p>Jocasta pouted. "Already?"</p>
<p>"I ain’t going down that dark road any further."</p>
<p>"Oh, very well. I shall reign without challenge then. On a different note, tell me – why exactly do you call yourself McKinnon? I thought they were all killed in the Voldemort War?"</p>
<p>"I do not like what you’re implying," said Cormac, "and I will only say that the matter is personal." He dashed into the classroom before Jocasta could utter another word.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sparrow’s entrance into the Transfiguration classroom was met with some cold stares and quiet giggles from the students. Her apology to Professor Wimble was met with an equally cold reply that he had seen worse, though not very often.</p>
<p>So Sparrow had sat herself down between the room’s only two sources of warmth, which were Cormac and Jill.</p>
<p>"Why don’t you explain yourself," she muttered.</p>
<p>"What’s to explain?" said Cormac. "Carrow never apologizes for her stunts, so I figured I’d get back at her. That’s all."</p>
<p>"I think Sparrow is just worried," said Jill. "Revenge is definitely not something I’d expect from you."</p>
<p>"No no," said Sparrow, "I mean the bag of flour. Why pick something a muggle would do?"</p>
<p>"Maybe I am one," said Cormac.</p>
<p>"I'm never going to believe that no matter how many times you say it."</p>
<p>"Fine," said Cormac. "Let's just say I like the idea of doing things without magic. You ever thought about that? Doing stuff without waving a wand?"</p>
<p>"I write homework with my own hands," said Sparrow. "Does that count? I walk up stairs instead of flying."</p>
<p>"No," said Cormac, "I mean like, washing dishes, digging holes, tying shoelaces. That sort of thing."</p>
<p>"Oh," said Sparrow. "Well. Speaking as a muggleborn, you can imagine that I would want to take full advantage of my wand during the school year."</p>
<p>"Fair point," said Cormac. "As for me, well…I’d call it a matter of hometown pride."</p>
<p>"Where <em>are </em>you from?" said Jill.</p>
<p>"Well if you really want to know, I’m – "</p>
<p>"Attention!" said Professor Wimble. "Today we will be learning about Animagi." Oh, wonderful. An all-lecture lesson again. This was an opportunity for Sparrow’s mind to wander. It wandered to McGonagall’s office, and to McGonagall herself. Apparently she had been the transfiguration teacher, back before the Second Wizarding War, back when Dimbledore ran the school. Perhaps if she had still been, Sparrow would have learned how to transfigure something, under the stern but patient gaze of a legendary professor. But Professor Wimble had the students listen far more often than he had them practice.</p>
<p>As the professor droned on and on about the legal details of animagi and the registration process, Sparrow thought about what the Headmistress had said. She had said that you couldn’t change someone’s life for them. But that wasn’t literally true, was it? Especially with magic involved. Why, there was a muggle story about a fairy clad in blue who changed a poor washer-girl’s outfit into a beautiful gown, and let her go to the Ball, and she lived happily ever after! Muggles always used the term "fairy godmother" when they were talking about someone being granted magic wishes out of the blue. Why couldn’t Wizards be fairy godmothers? Maybe, once upon a time, they had been.</p>
<p>Something the professor was saying finally caught her attention.</p>
<p>"The legal penalties for failing to register as an animagus are severe," said Wimble. "The Ministry of Magic will levy a fine of not less than twenty thousand galleons, or impose a year in Azkaban, depending on the financial status of the perpetrator."</p>
<p>The entire class shivered.</p>
<p>Sparrow raised her hand.</p>
<p>"Yes, Miss Jones?"</p>
<p>"I still don’t understand. Why is it necessary to register?" Professor Wimble raised an eyebrow. "I just told you."</p>
<p>"But – "</p>
<p>"Miss Jones, after your incident yesterday, I should think you would want to avoid overstepping any boundaries when it comes to this subject. But you persist, and not merely with one dangerous subject, but two! You are a bold one. Perhaps you should have been in Gryffindor."</p>
<p>"She’s proposing to break the law," said Cormac. "That sounds more like Slytherin."</p>
<p>"But she wants to know why something is the way it is," said Jill. "That sounds like Ravenclaw." Sparrow felt her face grow hot.</p>
<p>"Be that as it may," said Professor Wimble, "we must return to the lesson." And he droned on and on, leaving Sparrow wondering, now, about the Ministry of Magic itself, and how harsh it could be. She’d done magic over the summer and almost had her wand taken from her. The folks who had appeared at her door had not been very nice at all. They had used a memory charm on her entire neighborhood and then magically bound her arms to a chair and yelled at her for an hour.</p>
<p>Just for using a charm to make a tree grow. They’d cut the tree down too.</p>
<p>Sparrow couldn’t understand why anyone would want to work for such people. But, maybe they liked the taste of power.</p>
<p>Just like she did.</p>
<p>That was something to think about.</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>The Hufflepuff table did not have any cupcakes that night.</p>
<p>"So why ARE you in Hufflepuff?" said Cormac, through a mouthful of shepherd’s pie. "The way you talk about big things and intervene in things, I’d say you’re as bold as a Gryffindor is supposed to be."</p>
<p>"We’re both fourth years," said Sparrow. "There’s still a few years for you to find someone bolder than me."</p>
<p>"I don’t think there is," said Cormac. "I think if anyone was more daring they would have run afoul of the Ministry already. You’re right on the edge, you know. People talk about you. They wonder why you haven’t done anything stupid enough to get expelled yet."</p>
<p>"Because I wish to learn," said Sparrow. "I want to learn everything."</p>
<p>"Sounds more like a Ravenclaw to me," said Jill beside her. Jill had cleared her plate but had not left the table.</p>
<p>"Perhaps we all need a little Ravenclaw in us," said Sparrow, "if we want to pass our exams."</p>
<p>"You didn’t answer my question," said Cormac. He banged his fork on the table. "Hufflepuff. Why did the hat pick you for Hufflepuff?"</p>
<p>"It didn’t," said Sparrow. "I did."</p>
<p>"Just like Harry Potter," said Cormac. "So why didn’t you pick Gryffindor? That’s the grand old house of brave people. Right?"</p>
<p>"Are you saying Hufflepuff doesn’t have brave people?"</p>
<p>"Well I’m not saying that, but – "</p>
<p>"Do you think Hufflepuff was a bad choice?"</p>
<p>"I just think it’s the least fitting of all your possibilities. So why bother?"</p>
<p>"Long story," said Sparrow. "Maybe I’ll explain later." She leaned upon Jill. "What about you, my dear? You’re a Patil. Most of them go into Gryffindor. Why’d you pick Hufflepuff?"</p>
<p>"Think of it this way," said Jill. "Everyone knows what to expect of a Gryffindor. Everyone knows what to expect of a Ravenclaw and a Slytherin. But Hufflepuffs can do what they like, because everyone underestimates them."</p>
<p>"Ooh," said Cormac. "Sounds Slytheriny to me."</p>
<p>"No doubt," said Jocasta, appearing beside Cormac.</p>
<p>He jumped, scattering bits of potato. At the same time Sparrow was jostled as Jill stiffened and sat up straighter.</p>
<p>"Oh hello," growled Sparrow. "Where did you come from?"</p>
<p>"Perhaps from nowhere," said Jocasta, giving Sparrow an innocent smile. "Perhaps from the very air itself."</p>
<p>"Oh," said Jill, "aren’t you funny today."</p>
<p>"As are you," said Jocasta. "You are always funny." Jill waved her hand in a circular motion, as if inviting Jocasta to complete the thought.</p>
<p>"Funny…looking," said Jocasta. "Oh, come on, that one’s no fun if you make me finish it."</p>
<p>"Yeah, well, you’ve done it to me before."</p>
<p>"When?"</p>
<p>"Three years ago."</p>
<p>"What a funny memory you have! Well. Getting back to the topic at hand, I think I know why you went into Hufflepuff."</p>
<p>"Oh?"</p>
<p>"You were trying to follow Sparrow."</p>
<p>Cormac made that "OOO" sound with the rising tone, the sound that children make when they collectively stumble upon a guilty secret.</p>
<p>"I don’t see how that’s supposed to be embarrassing," said Sparrow.</p>
<p>Jill glanced at Sparrow, and said, "Of course you don’t." Sparrow was left to lean on nothing as Jill departed the table and the hall in haste.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Where or Where has my Little Jill Gone?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sparrow wanders lonely as a cloud that floats down low through vales and mills.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jill did not appear at the dueling club that night in the great hall. Jocasta looked less smug than usual as Sparrow approached.</p>
<p>"Hey look," said one of the other students. "It’s Lawbreaker Jones. How many times have you broken the Statute of Secrecy today?"</p>
<p>"None," said Sparrow. "I’ll let you know when I do. Have any of you seen Jill?"</p>
<p>Everyone shook their heads.</p>
<p>"Well," said Sparrow. "Foo."</p>
<p>"I am as disappointed as you are," said Jocasta. "I wanted to get our arch-rivalry going in earnest. I have waited <em>years</em> for her to call me such a thing."</p>
<p>"Really," said Sparrow.</p>
<p>"You doubt me? Oh! I suffer the judgment of everyone’s no-nonsense mother hen! Spare me!"</p>
<p>Some of the students giggled.</p>
<p>"What happened to her anyway?" said Jocasta. "Did she fly her broom into a wall?"</p>
<p>"You happened to her," said Sparrow.</p>
<p>The students gathered around made that "OOO" sound people make when someone has delivered a sick burn.</p>
<p>"Why are you even here?" said Jocasta. "You quit the club a long time ago."</p>
<p>"Figured I could find her here," said Sparrow. "Or on the Quidditch pitch, I guess. Figured I wouldn’t find her anywhere else. Thanks a lot, by the way. I’d say you made a real impression on her."</p>
<p>"I was just – "</p>
<p>"There’s no ‘just’ when you talk about stuff like that."</p>
<p>"Oh, am I going to get a lecture now? Are you going to tell me what it means to be a good student? I’m all ears."</p>
<p>"I’m a bit busy." Sparrow turned to leave the dueling club.</p>
<p>Suddenly Jocasta was standing in front of her. Sparrow yelped, and stumbled backwards. "What do you want!"</p>
<p>"Just to…ask after your own perspective, I suppose. Your own viewpoint."</p>
<p>"You want <em>my</em> opinion. What for?"</p>
<p>"Oh, no no no!" Jocasta grinned. "Your opinion I can do without, dearie. I mean your literal viewpoint. Can we…talk about this in private?"</p>
<p>"Private."</p>
<p>"Yes. Personal matter, you might say."</p>
<p>"What, did you want to pull me into a hidden alcove and ravish me?"</p>
<p>"Please," said Jocasta. "There’s barely enough of you to ravish! But I would call the matter more business than pleasure. Come." She took Sparrow by the hand before the girl could offer a protest, and dragged her out of the hall and around a corner.</p>
<p>Sparrow found herself in a narrow hallway between Jocasta and a pillar, quite a bit closer to her nemesis than she would like. She folded her arms and stood as straight and proud as she could, though it would have taken some clever spellwork to make up for the centimeters that Jocasta had over her. She raised her eyebrows and waited.</p>
<p>Jocasta responded in kind, holding her hands behind her back and gazing down at Sparrow without a word. For a little while they stayed this way, eyes locked. Sparrow would not give in and be forced to ask a question first; neither, it seemed, would Jocasta.</p>
<p>But as Sparrow gazed into Jocasta’s eyes, she thought she saw something besides the lightless depth of a pupil – it was almost as if there was light within those eyes, something faint, something moving dimly in the darkness.</p>
<p>Sparrow was about to concede the staring contest, for she did not wish to know what she was seeing. But just before she could blink, Jocasta’s expression changed. Sparrow had never seen the girl lose her smug expression for long, but here it was – she blinked first, and shook her head, clearly nonplussed about something she had seen in Sparrow’s face. When the smile returned to her face, it was fainter than before.</p>
<p>"Curious," said Jocasta. "I wonder if I ought to know more about you at all. Ah, but that is what I wanted to ask! Tell me, have you seen Jill anywhere at all today?"</p>
<p>Sparrow thought about where she had been, and where she usually expected to see her best friend. But Jill had not been in the common room. She had not been in the dungeons at the far end. She had not been on the quidditch pitch. Sparrow had thought she had seen Jill’s towering figure on the other side of a crowd of students, but there were a number of students in the school who could match her height, so it might not have been Jill at all.</p>
<p>It could not have been. Jill was always clear and bright in Sparrow’s sight, even in the middle of a crowd, even in the dim twilight, even in the deep shadows of a moonlit night. Whoever Sparrow had seen on the far end of that crowd had not been so clear. It could not have been Jill.</p>
<p>Sparrow shook her head.</p>
<p>"Fiddlesticks," said Jocasta. "I haven’t seen her either."</p>
<p>"That’s all you want to ask me about then?" Sparrow began to sidle away. "I’ll just be going – "</p>
<p>Jocasta’s arm shot out and barred Sparrow’s exit. "No, no. Not done yet. I haven’t got to the question I want to ask."</p>
<p>Sparrow glanced at the arm in her way, then met Jocasta's eyes, and raised an eyebrow. "Is that what this is? Jill is out of the way so now it’s your turn?"</p>
<p>"No! What, are you actually dating her? Did you finally get that started?"</p>
<p>"No, I’m – maybe? No! Wait, what do you mean ‘finally’?"</p>
<p>"Never mind," said Jocasta. "Not going to barge in anyway."</p>
<p>"Something about the Statute of Secrecy then?"</p>
<p>"You are <em>way</em> too loud about that business. No, it’s just –" She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and let it out in a huff. "Look. I want to know how you actually see Jill."</p>
<p>"She’s my best friend and I always like having her around because she gives really good hugs and -- "</p>
<p>"I mean literally. With your eyes. Does she always look…more visible to you? Like, clearer, brighter – "</p>
<p>Sparrow nodded. "Just like how you look to me."</p>
<p>"Excuse me, what?"</p>
<p>"If you didn’t know how to vanish like you always do then I would be able to pick you out of a crowd real easily and you could never sneak up on me from the front. Cormac tries to sneak up on me and I can always pick him out too."</p>
<p>"You – wait, Cormac too?"</p>
<p>Sparrow nodded.</p>
<p>"Okay." Jocasta let her arm drop. "So this isn’t, like, some romantic thing. I thought it might be, but you’re also highly visible to me. I mean not that that’s not a romantic thing, but it’s not, I mean – I mean you make a real easy target, is what I mean."</p>
<p>"Oh, is that all you mean?" Sparrow grinned.</p>
<p>"Yes," said Jocasta, "thank you, you have given me more information to work with, goodbye." She vanished into thin air.</p>
<p>Jocasta had given Sparrow more information to work with as well. But the girl probably wouldn’t want to admit it right now.</p>
<p>She took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and set forth to keep looking for her best friend.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There was a figure flying high around the Quidditch pitch in the twilight, smacking away bludgers as they flew towards her. The figure dismissed the bludgers with a wave of their wand, and descended as if curious.</p>
<p>Whoever it was, they seemed to be as tall as Jill, and as broad as Jill, with long hair in a braid, like Jill, and yet – Sparrow could not pick them out against the twilight.</p>
<p>Sparrow did not know anyone on any of the quidditch teams whose figure resembled that of Jill, for even among the beaters, only Sean McClaggen rivaled her in breadth, and only Palomina Selkirk matched her height. The quidditch commentator always called Jill The Giant and she had accepted that title without quibble or complaint.</p>
<p>So there must have been someone among the student body that Sparrow did not know, who was not on a quidditch team, who had decided to use the pitch for broom practice without being on a quidditch team, which would have required them to reserve the entire pitch for themselves, which would have required them to ask the Flying Coach, who did not grant such favors, so whoever this was had come here without authorization –</p>
<p>The figure soared upward, off the pitch and around the castle.</p>
<p>Such a possibility was exactly why Sparrow had made her request to get a broomstick from the school supply closet ahead of time.</p>
<p>Of course, the reason she had to make such a request was because she had no broomstick of her own, because it would have been a pointless purchase, because, just as this thing was doing now, broomsticks tended to dump her on the ground at the first opportunity.</p>
<p>Sparrow brushed the dust off her clothing and wondered if it would be possible to cajole a broomstick. Maybe if she told it that love was at stake. Which was true, wasn’t it? Jill and Sparrow, arm in arm, a matched set, one with the shield and the other with the flaming sword, partners in crime, bosom buddies, friends to the bitter end. That was worth helping her out for, wasn’t it?</p>
<p>The broom said nothing. As brooms tended to do.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The following days were the latter part of the week, which Sparrow always found disappointing, because her schedule and Jill’s class schedule did not coincide nearly as much. This week, it meant that there were very few opportunities to meet up with Jill again – and even in those few opportunities, she could not spot the girl. Where on earth had she gone? Was she skipping classes? She wasn’t on Thin Ice like Sparrow was but she could very well be if she missed more than a few days.</p>
<p>Sparrow was tempted to spend classtime looking for her. But then she would have fallen through the ice. So she sat in class, barely paying attention to any lesson, which was easy enough to do in Transfiguration but quite out of character in Defensive Arts, and when Professor Budge remarked upon it to Sparrow in that evening’s detention, she refused to explain.</p>
<p>"You know," said Budge, "the last time I saw you this worked up about anything was a couple years ago, when Jill was in the hospital wing for a few days. That was also the last time your Smokescreen spell backfired."</p>
<p>Sparrow waved smoke out of her face. "Gee, sounds like you’ve got me figured out."</p>
<p>"Oh, perhaps. Whether you have yourself figured out, that’s a different matter. But am I accurate in my assessment?"</p>
<p>"Yes. Jill is…missing."</p>
<p>Professor budge frowned. "Missing?"</p>
<p>"I mean like, missing to me. Cormac said he saw her in the hall the other day, but – if she’s missing her classes because of me that’s not good at all. I didn’t even see her in class today."</p>
<p>"You didn’t?" said Budge. "She was sitting in the back in the corner."</p>
<p>Sparrow blinked.</p>
<p>"Did you not check the corners?"</p>
<p>"I thought I did. How did you see her but I didn’t – did she cast a confundus charm on me or something? Did someone else? Am I cursed or something?"</p>
<p>"I can check," said Professor Budge, "if you will permit it."</p>
<p>"Please!"</p>
<p>Budge tapped Sparrow lightly on the head with his wand and said, "<em>Prior Incantato." </em>There was a brief flash of blue light that struck the chairs and the walls.</p>
<p>"Now that’s odd," said Professor Budge. "The effect was blue, which means you’re clean of all enchantments. But it was also as bright as if detecting an enchantment upon you."</p>
<p>"Maybe," said Sparrow, "I’m just so powerful that I overloaded the spell."</p>
<p>The Professor chuckled. "Perhaps, Miss Jones, perhaps. Your shield has stood against far more than anyone ever thought a shield could withstand. Perhaps you do have a great deal of magic in you." He stroked his chin. "In fact…sometimes when I look at you, I think I can see you more clearly than anyone else. It is almost as if you are lit up a bit brighter."</p>
<p>Sparrow’s eyes grew wide. "You what?"</p>
<p>"Not to a great degree," said Budge. "You don’t light up the room. Although…the way I have noticed Jill looking at you, I would say that you certainly light up the room for someone."</p>
<p>"That’s a personal matter!" said Sparrow. "And that particular data point is a little disappointing."</p>
<p>"You are disappointed that Jill looks at you with admiration?"</p>
<p>"No, It’s just –" Sparrow shook her head. "Oh, I don’t even know! I can’t even put my finger on it. Thank you for the information anyway. Shall we declare this the final detention for the week?"</p>
<p>"I was prepared to make it a full week," said Budge. "But you have managed to regain proficiency in everything I have taught you thus far, so let us say your work is complete. Just keep practicing that smokescreen spell, alright?" Sparrow saluted, and hurried out of the classroom.</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>Saturday meant that there were no classes where Sparrow could search the corners. She had to meet Jill by chance, somewhere, somehow. But not in the common room, for Jill did not come there; nor in the Great Hall at mealtimes, for Sparrow never found Jill there.</p>
<p>At last late on a Sunday afternoon, in the third-floor corridor, Sparrow thought she saw Jill at an intersection. But in that same moment, Jocasta was there with a pink Pigmy Puff. It was utterly adorable. Sparrow could not look away. When she did look away Jill had gone.</p>
<p>"I swear to Christ," said Sparrow, "it’s like you’re trying to be the next Peeves."</p>
<p>"Swear to who?"</p>
<p>"Never mind, never mind." Sparrow tore herself away from the Pygmy Puff and dashed to the intersection, looking this way and that – but whichever way Jill had chosen, she had already turned some other corner, and disappeared.</p>
<p>"What on earth is the matter?" said Jocasta.</p>
<p>"Jill went one way or another," said Sparrow.</p>
<p>"Oh!" Jocasta hurried to the intersection. "A prank has caused both of us trouble. Tell you what, I will search one way and you go another, alright?"</p>
<p>"You…want to work with me?"</p>
<p>"Call it an important matter. We shall be nemeses again afterwards." There was a small <em>thump</em> of air as she vanished.</p>
<p>Sparrow took off down the corridor in front of her. But no matter how far she went, or which way she looked, Jill was not to be found. Nor could anyone she met say that they had noticed the Mighty Miss Patil passing by them.</p>
<p>There was a small thump of air behind Sparrow. She whirled around. There was Jocasta again, looking oddly serious.</p>
<p>"Success?" said Sparrow.</p>
<p>Jocasta shook her head.</p>
<p>"Alright." Sparrow sighed. "At least I still have your pranks to look forward to."</p>
<p>Jocasta grinned. "Do you want more of them?"</p>
<p>"No! Never mind!" Sparrow stomped away, tempted to use the smokescreen spell there and then.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jill was not at the Reflecting Pool on the third floor, nor among the stacks of the library, nor among the fish tanks down in the dungeons, nor among the scroll shelves of the Astronomy Tower, nor standing upon the walkway between there and the Dragon Tower – oh hang it all, there was someone high in the sky on a broom. That must have been her.</p>
<p>But whoever it was, they were not clear to her sight. So it must not have been Jill.</p>
<p>The figure descended, and hovered upon the broom, just above the Dragon Tower’s roof. And at this distance, through the Haze, Sparrow could see the familiar shape of shoulders she knew. It was Jill.</p>
<p>But even at this close distance, her image was not clear.</p>
<p>"Jill!" shouted Sparrow. "Where have you been? Come on down here, I’ve been missing you."</p>
<p>But though Jill descended, she did not step off the broom – not until she beheld Sparrow, and then her eyes widened. She rushed over to Sparrow and bent down to her, taking Sparrow’s hands in hers and checking her pulse at her wrist.</p>
<p>"What’s wrong?"</p>
<p>"Nothing," said Jill. "Something. Everything. I’m still mad at you."</p>
<p>"For what?"</p>
<p>"Nothing!" shouted Jill, causing Sparrow to jump. "Never mind." She mounted her broom and flew away into the sky.</p>
<p>Sparrow stood there watching her go, and stayed there long after Jill had climbed out of sight, not knowing what else to do, or where to go, until she finally decided that there was one person she <em>could</em> find comfort in, right now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If Cormac noticed that Sparrow was keeping close to him all the rest of that day, he did not seek to know why, not even when the two of them wound up in front of the fireplace. He was still there in his favorite chair when the fire had burned to its last embers. He did not make a move to get up and go to bed until Sparrow had stood up from her place upon the hearth.</p>
<p>As he rose from his chair, he turned to Sparrow, and in that moment, Sparrow thought she could see the light of the hearth fire reflected in his eyes, though it had long since burned down.</p>
<p>"Are you okay?" said Sparrow.</p>
<p>"Me?" said Cormac. "What about you?"</p>
<p>"I’m fine."</p>
<p>"Sparrow – "</p>
<p>"Alright, I’m not fine."</p>
<p>"I know," said Cormac.</p>
<p>"Then why did you ask?"</p>
<p>"To hear it from you," said Cormac. "For what it’s worth…I miss her too."</p>
<p>"You too?"</p>
<p>Cormac nodded.</p>
<p>"Then…I’m sorry I drove her away."</p>
<p>"Not me you ought to apologize to," said Cormac. "Come on. Sleep’s better than worrying right now."</p>
<p>But as Sparrow ascended the stairs to the girl’s dormitories, she worried about what Cormac had implied. That the situation <em>had</em> been all her fault. What about Jocasta’s role, eh? Making a crack like that. But as to Sparrow’s role…she could apologize for it, but she could not quite understand what she had actually done. Which meant she could not apologize for the matter fully yet. But she could not ask Jill what happened until she had apologized. But Jill would not let her ask.</p>
<p>And through all her preparations for bed, she turned that dilemma over and over in her mind, and got nowhere. She fell asleep still wondering what had gone wrong.</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>In the following weeks, Jill was no longer impossible to find. But she had not regained her earlier visibility. She would come to meals, but not eat near Sparrow; she would attend her classes, but not sit near Sparrow; she no longer slept in the same dormitory room as Sparrow, and the Hufflepuff prefect would not say where she had gone.</p>
<p>Sparrow was not completely bereft of her friend. Nonetheless she was missing her. She began to feel quite cross with Jill, and with Jocasta too, for whatever she had said in September that had caused Jill so much trouble. So she tended to raise her shield even at small provocations.</p>
<p>People began to grumble about that thing wearing out its welcome, especially since the number of actual pranks and incidents among the students had dropped precipitously. Where before Sparrow might find herself breaking up one altercation per day, now it was one altercation per week. And when Sparrow inquired as to what was going on, the answer was that Jill the Giant had been intervening, sometimes even roughly, and now no one dared to try anything, lest her mighty footfalls be heard coming around the corner.</p>
<p>Yet there was one who dared, even in the midst of this silent tension. Jocasta Carrow saw fit to toss things directly at Sparrow in a manner Sparrow could not even call clever. And such things as they were, rocks and quills and wadded parchment, they bounced off the shield as ever – yet this time they tended to ricochet at a far greater speed than the initial, and usually straight back at the thrower.</p>
<p>Fortunately for Jocasta, her experience in Wizard Duels meant that she had no trouble dodging these missiles; unfortunately for anyone behind her they did not have the same skill, and so a few students wound up with a faceful of flowers, a shirt covered in ink, and, on one occasion, a faceful of furious marmot.</p>
<p>On those first occasions Sparrow had been deeply embarrassed; the incident with the marmot was mortifying. Worse, Jocasta’s reaction was hearty laughter, as if it was in any way funny to involve Sparrow in causing harm to the other students. Worse still, Sparrow could not figure out how to stop the ricochet effect, nor could she understand why it only worked when Jocasta threw things at her, not when Cormac tried.</p>
<p>So Sparrow decided that, as her shield spell seemed to be nearly a reflex by now, she would attempt to control her reaction. To this end she enlisted Cormac’s aid once more, and had him throw pillows at her until she could at last let them come.</p>
<p>This effort lasted all night. As a result, the following morning Sparrow was altogether too tired to notice a bottle of ink hurtling at her face, until it struck her square on the forehead.</p>
<p>Fortunately and unfortunately for Sparrow, this particular bottle was made in the typical mode of glass ink bottles, which is to say that it was thick enough to resist shattering even when it hit the floor. Which meant that a greater portion of the impact went into Sparrow’s forehead, and, as the bottle had been travelling at high speed, there was quite a bit of that impact –</p>
<p>At least from Sparrow’s perspective. The girl who had not suffered a hard strike from anything or anyone in many years was now dealing with a great deal of bone-cracking pain all at once.</p>
<p>That, at least, was what Sparrow came to understand long after the fact. In the moment, past the initial shock of pain, there was nothing to consider. Or perhaps, plenty of things she could have considered, but nothing she felt like she could pay attention to. Except, perhaps, to wonder why on earth this raven-haired girl had her wand up in her face, and why her pain was fading, and why –</p>
<p>"I really can’t figure you out," mumbled Sparrow. "Thought I could. What’s your flipping problem?"</p>
<p>"Add this one to the list," said Jocasta. Then she vanished.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In regards to the marmot incident, Sparrow’s embarrassment faded fairly quickly, as her fellow students seemed to consider the matter little more than a trifle. So embarrassment was replaced by confusion, as Sparrow thought everyone would be worried their vaunted Shield Maiden had at last slipped up. But there was neither insinuation nor rumor to that effect. Nobody cared.</p>
<p>Except for a few people, who seemed to be amused that the high-and-mighty Sparrow Jones had got a comeuppance. Sparrow found this even more confusing. How could they object to being protected? Try as she might Sparrow could not resolve this question in her mind.</p>
<p>As for Jocasta, she spent a week vanishing as soon as she saw Sparrow, then relaxed enough to simply walk away, before getting up to tricks again – this time mostly needling the girl from afar. No more thrown objects, for some reason.</p>
<p>In these same weeks, the situation with Jill did not get any better. Sparrow had hoped that Jill’s embarrassment would eventually fade. But even into mid-October she remained distant. The Hufflepuff quidditch team was victorious against the Ravenclaws, and then against the Slytherins in their next match, and Jill did not even celebrate with Sparrow as she had once done for every Hufflepuff victory.</p>
<p>Sparrow began to feel slightly queasy whenever she sat down to a meal. She was far more distracted than usual, and found herself staring out windows when she tried to do her homework. What she was feeling right now – it was familiar enough to make Sparrow wonder if her old nightmare had come upon her again. And worse, that this time she could not guess why she had lost a friend. At least last time the reason had been straightforward! But now? Now there was only confusion, and the physical burden of mental troubles. It was not as though Jill was lost forever – surely not!</p>
<p>But what if she was?</p>
<p>Sparrow told herself that she was overthinking things. That she and Jill had not parted company very often in the past three years, and that this closeness made it difficult for Sparrow to distinguish between bye-for-now versus bye-for-ever. And yet, for all that she could believe this thought was a fact, this understanding gave no comfort when the possibility of complete separation remained within her mind.</p>
<p>Sparrow had no words for what she was feeling, and her only frame of reference was built out of the worst moments of her life. So she wandered through her days, dazed, nearly lost. If Cormac had not let her copy his notes she might have failed all her classes. If he had not been willing to listen to her complain, she would have been lost. Funny how she felt more anchored, when she was around him.</p>
<p>It was a milder form of how she felt around Jill. It was almost as if she had a crush on the girl.</p>
<p>Hm. That was something to think about.</p>
<p>Or not think about, because she hadn’t ever dared to let herself hope for such a thing, so obviously it was impossible and it was going to make her feel worse anyway so why even bother and she probably didn’t even deserve it and oh god dammit how had she not realized beforehand?</p>
<p>Absence was somehow making her heart grow fonder for someone she was incredibly annoyed with. Or, to put it more bluntly, she was going through withdrawal symptoms. So now, on top of everything else, Sparrow was disappointed and annoyed with herself for the possibility that she loved someone on an unhealthy and obsessive basis.</p>
<p>And on such nights as she felt this shame, she could only comfort herself with the idea that someday she could talk to Jill about this, and work it out, and decide what to do.</p>
<p>But when that day would come, Sparrow could not know.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>On a Tuesday in October, the weather was now gentle enough that Care Of Magical Creatures could be held outside. Not that Wizards minded a little hot sun, but Hagrid insisted on working with certain specimens from the world of long ago that couldn’t take the dry season easily.</p>
<p>"I think he’s a little hidebound in his old age," said Jocasta. "Look, he’s bringing out Flobberworms. They’re nearly extinct."</p>
<p>"Or maybe," said Violet Brown, "he wants us to understand recent history."</p>
<p>Violet Brown was, like Cormac, Jocasta, and Jill, yet one more student that Sparrow could always pick out from a distance. Partly because anyone could. Sparrow always thought the girl ought to have been named Lavender, for her attire embodied the name of her ancestor, unto unto the very color of her long curly hair, unto her long fingernails, unto the very irises of her wide eyes, and though Sparrow felt that the whole effect did not precisely go well with the girl’s tawny skin, she had long since decided that nitpicks of fashion were less important than keeping memory alive. Violet embodied her decision most strongly in the rare moments when a new teacher thought to deduct house points for her being out of uniform; her glare nearly always got them to back down.</p>
<p>If that was all, it would have been enough. Sparrow was always just a little worried that anyone with evil designs on Violet would be able to pick her out of a crowd at a thousand meters, especially in a castle full of students wearing black robes. But no, that was not all. For at a great distance, she was as bright and clear to Sparrow as Cormac would have been, or Jocasta, or Jill.</p>
<p>Something about her radiated clarity. She might have appreciated hearing it phrased like that. She had studied enough that she probably knew enough spells to take care of anyone with evil designs upon her. She was the only person besides Sparrow who paid attention History of Magic, and even Sparrow’s mind wandered in that class sometimes, but Violet was always fixated on the day’s lesson – and somehow always behind Sparrow at the library checkout counter, with more books in her arms than Sparrow thought the girl could carry. The only other student Sparrow knew of who lived up to Ravenclaw’s reputation so well was in Gryffindor.</p>
<p>And that particular girl was also Visible. So perhaps the entire matter had something to do with academic vigor? Cormac was a close second behind Violet when it came to charms. Jocasta had mastered transfiguration enough to disguise a bunch of leaves as extra cupcakes for the Hufflepuff table. Jill had mastered nearly every hex and jinx and curse Professor Budge had taught her as quickly as Sparrow had done with the defensive charms.</p>
<p>That might have been it. But then, the matter did not rest there; there were many times that Sparrow fancied she could see the effect in random students. Never the same one twice. And there were students of great talent and power, like Percival Bulstrode or Cleo Sassoon, who never looked so clear and bright to Sparrow, even though Bulstrode was also highly studious. And there had been one student, a much older student who had graduated after Sparrow’s second year, who had been as Visible as Jill, yet never displaying any mighty talent, and barely seen around the castle at all. In fact, they had been so very good at hiding that, despite the fact that their outfit was always Lincoln Green, and despite the fact that Sparrow could spot details of their form from a ways off, Sparrow could count on one hand the number of times she had actually seen that mysterious figure.</p>
<p>Well, that was something to consider. In the case of the more conventional students, it may simply have been that they were not restless. Violet was restless. She was always hurrying away or mounting a broom and flying up to a high balcony. She was always difficult to approach.</p>
<p>But here was an opportunity.</p>
<p>"So," said Sparrow, as she sidled up to Violet. "Read any good books lately?"</p>
<p>"I read them for information," said Violet, "not for quality."</p>
<p>"What KIND of information?"</p>
<p>"History."</p>
<p>"Interesting history?"</p>
<p>"I don’t care if it’s interesting."</p>
<p>"Then why do you bother?"</p>
<p>"To gain knowledge." Violet didn’t even bother to glance at Sparrow.</p>
<p>But then she did.</p>
<p>"What is it?" said Sparrow.</p>
<p>"I do have a question for you."</p>
<p>"For me! Little old me? What could I possibly tell you that you don’t already know?"</p>
<p>"Not here," said Violet. "Not now. Later."</p>
<p>"Ooh," said Jocasta. "Someone has a crush."</p>
<p>Violet’s face turned red.</p>
<p>"Will you knock it off!" said Sparrow as she shooed Jocasta away.</p>
<p>
  <em>THUMP.</em>
</p>
<p>Sparrow jumped, as did the rest of the class. Hagrid had wrinkles and a big white beard, but age had not reduced his strength. When Hagrid put his foot down, you jumped, and you didn’t get to ask how high.</p>
<p>"Listen to me!" he growled, as he pointed to the large slimy mass on his shoulder. "What you see here is a Flobberworm. Used to be more common. But they aren’t extinct, Miss Carrow. The Scamander Foundation takes care of that, sure as rain."</p>
<p>"So, not very sure," said Sparrow.</p>
<p>Hagrid glared at the girl. "Pardon my old expressions," he growled. "Sure as sunrise, let’s say. Now, the way Flobberworms work is – yes, miss Jones?"</p>
<p>"When are we going to learn about the Rhiannons?"</p>
<p>"Later," said Hagrid. "Now, the Flobberworms used to be more common, right, but things have dried up a bit for ’em, so Wizards take care of them these days."</p>
<p>"Why?" said Cormac. "They don’t, um, do anything."</p>
<p>Hagrid scowled. "You mean you haven’t even been paying attention to the greenhouses, then? Young Professor Longbottom never made you notice the Flobberworms mulching the leaf litter?"</p>
<p>"Well he did, but – "</p>
<p>"There you go," said Hagrid. "There’s something useful for you. But I don’t need ‘em to be useful to keep them alive. I just figure if they’re alive I oughta help keep them alive. If I let any magical creature go extinct I’d be letting myself go as well."</p>
<p>Sparrow raised her hand.</p>
<p>Hagrid sighed. "Yes, miss Jones?"</p>
<p>"We let the non-magical creatures go extinct."</p>
<p>"Not our domain," said Hagrid. "More’s the pity."</p>
<p>"Seems like we have a small domain," said Sparrow.</p>
<p>"See me after class," said Hagrid, "And we can talk more about that."</p>
<p>…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sparrow had been informed by Cormac that the Forbidden Forest used to have towering pines, and that there were deep shadows, and in the deep shadows lurked all manner of nasty beasties like giant spiders and werewolves, and snobbish beasties like unicorns and centaurs.</p>
<p>Sparrow thought that the Forbidden Forest of the modern day was not quite as impressive, for the trees were as short as your regular old apple tree, and sparse. Mostly it was shrubland. Annoying, perhaps, and maybe fit for a centaur, but not anything to hide a giant spider. The Forbidden Shrubland. The name just didn’t ring. Ooh, a forbidden shrubland, what does it have, thorn bushes and stinging ants? Perhaps it would have been better to call the place "badlands", but some names stuck around.</p>
<p>There were few thorn bushes that Sparrow ever noticed along the shrubs of the edge. Nor a significant amount of vile beasts. They did, however, hide a surprising number of Rhiannons, which blended into the shrubs perfectly. In fact, Sparrow was pretty certain that a significant number of these tall birds had been shrubs a few seconds ago. Then again, it was easy to mistake a tall, long-legged bird for a low bush. Perhaps that was what they counted on.</p>
<p>It didn’t help that they fixed the girl with a glare far more intelligent than she was used to getting from any creature.</p>
<p>"Let me tell you about domains," said Hagrid, sitting on a wide stump. "Beasties have their domains. Shouldn’t go out of them, or they might overrun the landscape and ruin it. What do muggles call’em…‘invasive species’, I think. These birds here, they’re a monument to that."</p>
<p>"How – "</p>
<p>"Long story. My point is, Wizards also have their own domains. You might think we’re cooped up, but it keeps us safe, and it keeps the world safe. We don’t go about budging our way into muggle affairs, and they don’t ask us to grant wishes, and that’s that."</p>
<p>"You want to keep the wizarding world hidden because you don’t want to grant wishes," said Sparrow. "Sounds a bit selfish."</p>
<p>"There’s more to it than that!" said Hagrid. "Think of my job, right? I know all kinds of nasty beasties. What do you think would happen if they could just run around all over the place? What if a nundu could get into the London Underground? The Statute of Wizarding Secrecy isn’t just a law, lass. It’s a whole system, and it keeps everyone safe. And that’s that."</p>
<p>"Well then," said Sparrow, "Maybe everyone in the world needs magic, so they can defend themselves."</p>
<p>Hagrid clapped a hand on Sparrow’s shoulder, and fixed her with a steady gaze. "Listen to me, girl. You’re trying to go down a dangerous road. I won’t have it. I said That’s That and I mean it. I don’t want you talking about this subject again, you understand? And I’ll tell all the teachers about it. I’ll tell them that if they hear you talking about breaking the Statute, you’ll get a detention with me. And you’ll see just how nasty some beasts can be. Understand?"</p>
<p>Sparrow nodded.</p>
<p>"Run off to your next class, then."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sparrow’s next class, by sheer luck, had been Defense Against the Dark Arts, and not only was it been Defense Against the Dark Arts, it was the day they were practicing shield charms. So Sparrow hadn’t missed anything when she arrived five minutes late.</p>
<p>Professor Budge decided to punish Sparrow by having her teach the class how to cast a shield charm. It was, after all, more tricky than Sparrow had ever really understood.</p>
<p>Sparrow came to understand this fact as she did her level best to teach her fellow students; for all that it was easy to say "Protego" and easy to make the wand movement, something about it just wouldn’t come. Sparrow had not had a bit of trouble casting the charm within the past three years; as she saw everyone before her growing frustrated, she realized that she herself did not understand what she was doing, that she had never really understood what all went into the spell. It was only after Professor Budge cut in to say that the intention to protect was also crucial did anyone manage the basic spell.</p>
<p>Sparrow was thoroughly embarrassed. But at least everyone was getting a solid shield now. It was taking Professor Budge a little effort to get a stunning spell through any of them.</p>
<p>And yet many did not look satisfied.</p>
<p>"What is the matter?" said Sparrow. "You’re all doing it properly."</p>
<p>"No we aren’t," said Bertrand Bulstrode. "Things are still getting through. These are supposed to be unbreakable. How do you manage to get yours to be perfect, Miss Perfect Shield?"</p>
<p>"Well, I just – " Sparrow hesitated. She didn’t actually know.</p>
<p>"Well done, class," said Professor Budge. "Well done indeed, I think you’ve got the hang of it. Five points to Hufflepuff for Sparrow’s willingness to lead the class. Now let us discuss cushioning charms…"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After class Sparrow stayed behind, and sat upon the professor’s desk as he went around rearranging chairs.</p>
<p>"Yes?" said Professor Budge. "What is it?"</p>
<p>"I was hoping you could help me figure out this business with the shield spell," said Sparrow. "I don’t actually know what I’m doing. Wound up causing some people a fair bit of trouble." She explained the situation with the ricocheting shield.</p>
<p>"Hrm," said the professor. "Perhaps you do know what you’re doing, and you just aren’t paying attention? There is a mental component that goes into spells, after all." He finished arranging the chairs, then swept Sparrow off his desk with a wave of his wand. She brought an ink bottle to the floor with her. The Professor waved his wand and the stain disappeared. "Yes, magic accomplished without speaking. Something you will learn eventually. The spoken part is only to guide your mind."</p>
<p>"So…what if I say one thing and I’m thinking another?"</p>
<p>"That would be quite a mental trick, to say something out of your mouth at the very moment your mind was sying something else! But I suppose you would wind up casting the spell you were thinking of."</p>
<p>"That must not be it, then. I thought for sure it was. Last year in the Hufflepuff common room, I broke a mirror because something bounced off my shield at high speed. I thought it was because I was thinking "expelliarmus" while I was casting the shield. But that wasn’t it? What could it be, then?"</p>
<p>"I’m not sure," said Professor Budge. "But you managed to re-create the effect by accident this year, so there must be some hidden mechanism to all this, some cause that was replicated. Tell me, what exactly were you thinking, when you broke the mirror?"</p>
<p>It was a bit difficult to remember one’s specific thoughts of a year ago. "I remember hating the mirror," said Sparrow. "It was an ugly, awful thing. I wanted it gone."</p>
<p>"And what exactly were you thinking when you were reacting to Miss Carrow’s missiles?"</p>
<p>"I was thoroughly frustrated with that girl."</p>
<p>"Hm. Well, this all sounds like it could confirm some suspicions of mine regarding spell mechanics. I have often thought that one’s emotional state has something to do with how a spell works. Tell me, when you cast a shield, what are you usually thinking?"</p>
<p>"I am thinking…er…usually I’m offended that people are throwing things at other people, because that’s rude. And I don’t like it when students hurt each other."</p>
<p>"Are you saying that you’re casting the shield between other people?"</p>
<p>"You know I can project the thing pretty far."</p>
<p>"Yes, yes, I’ve seen you do that in class, but you mean you’re putting up barriers between two people, neither of whom are attacking you?"</p>
<p>"Yes…what are you getting at?"</p>
<p>"I am only thinking that they might not appreciate such interference, that’s all. You know how it is with human pride, yes? That someone stopped from taking revenge might feel as though their righteous anger was being casually disregarded for the sake of keeping Order. I’ve seen that happen a few times in my travels, where a government trying to establish its authority creates friction with local customs of upholding personal honor through combat. Did you not consider this?"</p>
<p>"I have only considered that I am not going to let people harm each other on my watch."</p>
<p>"Ah," said the Professor. "There we go. You are not merely offended, but determined. I imagine that is what makes your shield strong. I have never seen you falter in the face of any challenge I have set you."</p>
<p>"Strong," said Sparrow. "Not unbreakable. I’ve had my shield break a few times."</p>
<p>"And what had happened to your determination in those times?"</p>
<p>Once it had been just after her grandfather had died. Once it had been just before a duel with Jocasta, when Jill kissed her on the cheek. Once it had been after she had seen a dragon for the first time. To be sure, the moment of seeing the dragon has also involved her trying to hold up a ton of falling rock, which itself had been more daunting than anything before, and Sparrow might not have even considered trying to meet that challenge if Jill hadn’t come right up beside her in a most romantic and foolhardy fashion.</p>
<p>"I faltered," said Sparrow.</p>
<p>"This is excellent evidence for my theory," said Professor Budge. "I must write a letter to the Department of Mysteries. You should run along now. Go and practice your shield charm with different emotional states."</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The Halloween Ball</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The only reason not to dance with everyone is that time is finite.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the ensuing weeks Jill still did not speak to Sparrow, nor did Violet say anything in regards to her own desired meeting, and Sparrow began to seek Cormac’s company even more often. The most communication that she got was a note left on her pillow one evening. All it read was, <em>I am no longer angry at you</em>. No further explanation. Sparrow was left as confused as she was reassured, and yet as lonely as ever. For Jill remained dim and hazy.</p><p>In the back of her mind, she began to consider the possibility that Jill had simply had enough of discussing Sparrow’s ambitions, and whatever had happened in early September was simply the straw that broke the camel’s back. Perhaps Jill thought she was leaving Sparrow gently? It was a horrifying possibility. It was a horrifying thought, that the friendship between the two girls could be broken after all.</p><p>And yet – who had rushed to her side when that mountain of stone had come down on her, years ago? Who always rushed to her side in the moments her shield broke? Who had defended Sparrow’s reputation in public even as they argued in private? Who had gone all the way out to the edge of their little world to bring Sparrow back? Would that same girl up and leave her without a word over an argument that had only ever been theoretical?</p><p>And yet, she had up and left without a word for some reason, and though she existed once more, she was hardly present. And here was Sparrow alone.</p><p>This issue came to the fore at the Halloween Ball.</p><p>The ball was one of those affairs that, in an era of greater misery, was meant to stand in bright contrast. Professor Flutwick had pushed for more celebrations, for the sake of children who would otherwise feel as dreary as the wet season was becoming. And so on the evening of 31 October, the Great Hall was decorated in the professor’s inimitable style, with cut-out paper bats flittering this way and that between the innumerable Jack-O-Lanterns and the ceiling, which, in contrast to its usual veracity, was displaying a clear moonlit night while rain pelted the great windows.</p><p>The hall was lit only by the Jack-O-Lanterns, and Sparrow was glad of it, for her formal robes consisted of a plum gown with white lace sleeves, which her mother had packed for her with a wink. It was old-fashioned enough that Sparrow wondered if it had ever been in fashion; the dim light of the hall was the only setting in which it looked anything besides frumpy.</p><p>Sparrow stood there on the sidelines, without her Jill, for the first time in years. They had always gone to balls together, and danced mostly with each other. This time, though, Sparrow could not see Jill in the dim light. She could spot Violet well enough; she could spot Cormac; she could spot Jocasta. But not Jill.</p><p>And there was one other she could see from anywhere, the one last student who stood out to her clear as Jill once did.</p><p>And for similar reasons, on the surface. She was nearly as tall as Jill, and nearly as broad; moreover, she was, in a school full of tan, brown, and black students, the only person whose skin was darker than Sparrow’s. Which was no mean feat. Her eyes stood out like twin stars against the night. Sparrow wondered if this was why she heard so many people say they found her alluring.</p><p>It also helped that she stood out by stepping out; she was the only student who never hesitated to approach the creatures that Hagrid presented, and always placed herself close to the front of the class, such that, if Sparrow wished to pay attention, it was impossible not to notice her. Presumably Hagrid had called out her name many times, but somehow Sparrow never remembered it.</p><p>Sparrow had terrible marks for Hagrid’s class that year.</p><p>But there was something else – that odd quality of clarity, that ineffable brightness that made everything and everyone else look like background.</p><p>This evening, the mysterious mighty girl wore a suit that appeared to be changing colors as she danced with one person after another. On occasion, where she and her current dancing partner spun into the shadows, Sparrow thought that a normal person with her appearance could have blended into the shadows quite well when their eyes were closed, leaving only a mane of dreadlocks to make it clear that there was a head above the suit jacket. But Sparrow could see the girl’s outline without any trouble.</p><p>She could also observe that the girl was always leading the dance. Whoever she was, she was as butch as a hunk of machinery. Perhaps that was the real reason so many fell silent when she approached.</p><p>"I noticed her as well," said Cormac.</p><p>Sparrow jumped. She had not noticed him coming up beside her.</p><p>Cormac chuckled. "A regular halloween scare," he said. "Sorry about that. Do you know the name of that girl?"</p><p>"No," said Sparrow. "Come to think of it, I don’t know the names of many people here."</p><p>"How about that," said Cormac. "You would protect them, but you don’t know them. Seems a trifle aloof, don’t you think?"</p><p>"Well, I mean – "</p><p>"Do you wish to know them?"</p><p>Sparrow frowned. "You sound like you’re trying to suggest something."</p><p>"I’m just saying, this is a perfect opportunity to get to know people. All you have to do is go and dance with them."</p><p>Sparrow crossed her arms. "Dance with them. With these people? I’ve been frustrated by their conduct towards each other for years."</p><p>"And I assume you would only wish to dance with Jill in any case."</p><p>"Perhaps."</p><p>"Would you dance with me, then? I promise I won’t step on your feet."</p><p>Sparrow acquiesced, and at last the two spun out onto the dance floor, stepping as carefully as they could for two fourteen-year-olds in dim lighting, which involved a fair amount of stopping and starting as they tried to get into each other’s rhythm. They did their best, and made no exasperated faces at each other, and, as it happened, looked not a bit different than any of the other awkward couples their age.</p><p>Yet at a certain point, Violet Brown finally approached, and she cut in, leaving Sparrow somewhat in the lurch. Violet and Cormac waltzed away, perfectly in sync.</p><p>And then appeared the girl that Sparrow had been following, whose suit, in this light, now looked red and gold. She took Sparrow’s hand and placed a hand on her waist, and led her in a slow waltz, without saying much of anything. Sparrow in turn felt no desire to speak, but to stare upward into the girl’s eyes in fascinated intimidation. And just a little fear. There was a gleam in those eyes, a curious light that Sparrow had only ever seen on nights of the full moon.</p><p>Sparrow shivered for a moment. Surely there was nothing that could harm Sparrow Jones of the Mighty Shield, but this girl was already past her defenses.</p><p>After some time, the girl finally spoke. "I have not asked your name," she said, "for I know it already. You are well known, Sparrow Jones. But do you know me?"</p><p>Sparrow shook her head.</p><p>"Do you know anyone?"</p><p>"Jillian Patil," said Sparrow. "Cormac McKinnon. Violet Brown, when she feels like talking to me. Jocasta Carrow, not that I want to. Percival Bulstrode, Cleo Sassoon. That’s about it."</p><p>"And yet what I hear of you is that you would – you do – protect everyone. And yet – " the girl dipped her low – "you do not know them. You disdain them from a distance. How strange. Why would you seek to save people you do not know? Why would you seek to protect people you hold in contempt?"</p><p>"You’re talking kind of funny. Did you eat a Shakespeare play for breakfast?"</p><p>The girl chuckled. "Funny indeed! I find the tone of such speech amusing, especially when it comes in an inappropriate moment. But please, dear Sparrow of the mighty shield, be so kind as to answer the question of this humble inquirer."</p><p>"If you let me out of this position, I might tell you."</p><p>The girl stood her back up. "Well then. Tell."</p><p>"Tell <em>me</em>. You’re a seventh-year, right? You must know the shield charm by now. Why don’t <em>you</em> protect them?"</p><p>The girl laughed, and her suit turned yellow and black. "Oh, my dear. I fool many people with my height. I am but a fifth-year. But to answer your question, yes, I could cast a shield charm everywhere I saw misbehavior in the halls. And why don’t I? Because I have not been asked. Because I worry about intruding in the lives of strangers, people who might feel annoyed that someone was barging into their personal problems. Do you know, I have managed to dance with everyone on this floor? And it was all to ask about you, girl."</p><p>Sparrow shivered. "That’s, uh. Um."</p><p>The girl grinned.</p><p>"You’re not helping!"</p><p>"My apologies. What did you wish to say?"</p><p>"I wanted to say," said Sparrow with some shortness of breath, "that it is intimidating enough to know that the giant of a girl who I have been noticing for four years without bothering to speak to her has, in fact, noticed me. The fact that you seem interested in me is even more intimidating. What’s your deal now? Do you wish to take me to bed after all? Do you wish to <em>ravish</em> me? Have you been waiting this long?"</p><p>The girl laughed. "Oh! No. No, little bird, you do not have to worry about that, not at all, not ever."</p><p>"Alright, now I’m disappointed."</p><p>"Do not be. You never had a chance."</p><p>"Now I’m insulted."</p><p>"Do not be. No one had a chance."</p><p>"How’s that?"</p><p>"Never mind. Just take it as it is."</p><p>"Fine," said Sparrow. "You’re interested in me in some kind of platonic sense and also went around asking every single person about me. I am simply annoyed, then. It’s like this entire evening revolves around me."</p><p>"Indeed," said the girl. "A bit self-centered, eh? Do you want to know what people think of you?"</p><p>"No," said Sparrow. "No, I think it’s my responsibility to figure that out on my own. Thank you for your effort, though."</p><p>"No trouble," said the girl. "It gave me an excuse to learn the names of everyone here, anyway. But ah, I think there is someone who wishes to dance with you. I must be gone."</p><p>Sparrow spun around, hoping to find the one person she had been missing this whole time. Alas, the girl who stood before her was pale as the driven snow, her dress and her hair both nearly melting into shadows, such that her face, shoulders and arms stood out in the darkness as if floating. Precisely the opposite color effect that her immediate predecessor had. If Jocasta had not been subject to that mysterious visual clarity, she may very well have frightened people.</p><p>Jocasta giggled. "Your face," she said, "just fell in the most amusing manner. I am sorry to disappoint you, my dear adversary. May I have this dance?"</p><p>Sparrow hesitated for a moment, as the dancing students twirled around her and Jocasta. It was a moment long enough that, as Jocasta was waiting in silence, the amused expression on her face began to look faintly awkward as she held it in place.</p><p>Might as well bite the bullet. "You may have this dance," said Sparrow through gritted teeth. "I lead."</p><p>"Not a chance," said Jocasta. "I saw you lead."</p><p>"I think Cormac and I were both trying to lead," said Sparrow. "But, if you wish! Very well! Guide me, o great and terrible dancer, my sworn adversary."</p><p>"You sound as though you are attempting to sound archaic."</p><p>"Just trying to imitate a curious new friend. Come, thou beguiling raven-haired beauty, thou duchess of tricksters and scalawags and scoundrels. Let us dance."</p><p>Jocasta took Sparrow’s hand, and put a hand on her waist, and led her in a lively waltz around the hall. They managed to find each other’s rhythm in short order, although managing to avoid other couples was somewhat of a challenge, for Jocasta seemed to have eyes only for Sparrow, and Sparrow was too busy following her rhythm to watch where they were going.</p><p>"Have you danced with the tall girl?" said Sparrow.</p><p>"Specify, please."</p><p>"The one with the suit."</p><p>"Again, specify."</p><p>"The girl who looks more intimidating than pretty."</p><p>"Again – "</p><p>"The one who danced with everyone."</p><p>"Ah, yes." Jocasta grinned. "You don’t know her name?"</p><p>"Stop beating around the bush!"</p><p>"Miranda McClivert." Jocasta tried to dip Sparrow, but didn’t manage to do it as low. "Alas, I have not strength enough to sweep you off your feet as she did for me. I bet she swept you off your feet. Who knows? She may be yet another one who pines for you."</p><p>"So you did dance with her, you’re saying."</p><p>"Oh, yes," said Jocasta. "I think I could do it all night. But oh, if I did. I would worry that I had given up on Jill. Have you seen her?"</p><p>"No," said Sparrow. "I was hoping you had."</p><p>"What a pity."</p><p>"You fancy her then, after all? You’re not just having a laugh with all this rivalry business?"</p><p>"I don’t know." Jocasta’s face lost its characteristic smugness. "I do not know. I have seen the way she looks at you, sometimes. I thought she only had eyes for you. I have also seen the way you look at her, on occasion. And, um. I’ve seen you with your arms around each other, up on the walkways."</p><p>"You were spying on us?"</p><p>"I was hoping to catch her alone for once! But no, you’re always there with her, going on about the stark beauty of the land or something. What’s it in this season? The gathering storm?"</p><p>"Gathering blue," said Sparrow. "Growing cold, not just in the land but in my heart, for nothing can grow amidst endless rain. The sky cries for what the land lost."</p><p>"Ah ha," said Jocasta. "You are already skilled with the high-flying tone after all."</p><p>"When the subject interests me," said Sparrow. "Such as when I consider the gloomy state of the world. I like to have Jill by my side in those moments, but…she has grown cold as well, and dim. I still don’t know what happened. She won’t tell me."</p><p>"She’ll come around," said Jocasta. "I can’t say I know that girl as well as you do, but I know her well enough. The embers in her heart always catch light again after long. And she’ll come back to you."</p><p>"Back to me? You sound as though you’re not cutting in after all."</p><p>"I could, I could. And that would be quite the prank. But perhaps more awful than anything I had done. I told you I wasn’t going to barge in, and I meant it. Even if you and Jill are Off right now."</p><p>Sparrow shook her head as if to clear water from her ears. "Do my ears deceive me? Is the awful, conniving, scheming Jocasta Carrow giving up the opportunity of her dreams because she wishes to be kind?"</p><p>"Please," said Jocasta. "If I were to hurt you, I would hurt Jill, and I would have no chance with her. Alas for monogamy. It leaves me with such a dilemma."</p><p>"On that note," said Sparrow, "why do you prank people so much anyway?"</p><p>"Oh, wouldn’t you like to know. Ta-ta, my dear." Jocasta spun away and vanished into the darkness, leaving Sparrow to realize that the girl had somehow managed to unravel the entirety of Sparrow’s sleeves.</p><p>A simple Diffindo charm severed the hanging strands, and Sparrow decided that the resulting sleeveless gown was much more chic than what she had started out with. Jocasta had done her a favor. Perhaps she was off her game.</p><p>The evening came and went, and Jill never appeared at the ball, her existence only becoming clear later, when she stepped through the Hufflepuff Common Room door, swept past Sparrow and entered the second girl’s dormitory without a word.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. To the Dragon Tower</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Violet finally puts her two sickles in.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In subsequent weeks Jill still managed to avoid Sparrow at every possible turn, and Sparrow was becoming increasingly frustrated, despite Jocasta’s reassurance. Which was, in a way, fortunate, because it meant that she was experiencing a pure emotion that wasn’t the usual determination. And there were even times, as when Jocasta lured Sparrow around with an Ever-Retreating Galleon, or when she somehow turned Sparrow’s school robes into Slytherin colors, that Sparrow felt a pure anger, greater than even what she had felt amidst the Ricocheting Shield incident, which the normally reserved girl was not used to.</p>
<p>On this basis, one evening in the common room, Sparrow asked Cormac to help her practice the shield charm.</p>
<p>"Surely you don’t need any more practice," said Cormac.</p>
<p>"I need to experiment. Go on. Throw something at me."</p>
<p>Cormac faffed about for a bit before picking a seat cushion. He tossed it in Sparrow’s direction. "Protego!" she shouted, bringing her wand up faster than blinking.</p>
<p>The cushion hit the shield and disintegrated.</p>
<p>"Um," said Cormac. "That’s new."</p>
<p>"It supports Professor Budge’s theory," said Sparrow. "Emotions have some kind of effect on spells. Now I just need to STOP being angry, and my shield won’t be a hazard to life and limb."</p>
<p>Someone tapped her on the shoulder. She turned. There was Jocasta Carrow.</p>
<p>If Sparrow had cast her shield at that moment, Miss Carrow would likely have been disintegrated.</p>
<p>"How the hell did you get in here?" said Cormac.</p>
<p>"I have my ways," said Jocasta. "I just wanted to let you know that your erstwhile lover wants to meet you at the Dragon Tower at midnight."</p>
<p>"Which one?" said Sparrow. "Violet, Jill, or you?"</p>
<p>"Excuse me?"</p>
<p>"You’re the one who keeps going on about how people are interested in me. I’m gonna take a wild guess and say you’re projecting your own emotional state onto other people."</p>
<p>"I – "</p>
<p>"And you did that wall-pin thing. And you mended my skull after fracturing it. And you danced with me. And you prank me more often, lately. The bit with the galleon was clever. You made me look like a right fool. I think you’re also interested in me, Jocasta. Am I right?"</p>
<p>Jocasta’s face was red. "You’re the one who called me a beguiling beauty."</p>
<p>"I was just trying to have a bit of a laugh!"</p>
<p>"Were you really!" Jocasta gritted her teeth. "Never mind, never mind. Dragon tower at midnight! Be there!"</p>
<p>There was a small thump of displaced air, and suddenly there was a tiny little insect where Jocasta had been. It flew away.</p>
<p>"Now that explains a lot," said Cormac. "Do you think she’s registered?"</p>
<p>"I would definitely put it past her," said Sparrow.</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>Argus Filch had been unlucky and cruel in life, and in death he was not much happier. He had stuck to the mortal plane as a ghost, being happy with the way he could surprise students more easily than before, but otherwise still miserable. Happy people do not leave ghosts.</p>
<p>The Slytherin prefect, Percival Bulstrode, had informed Sparrow of Filch’s ghost, and had advised her on tips for avoiding the old codger. Soft shoes were essential, as well as a total lack of personal illumination. Preferrably a disguise charm as well.</p>
<p>"That’s all a lot of rubbish," said Cormac at approximately 11 PM. "He can see right through disguise charms, I’ve heard it straight from Lenkin Zabini. No, we’re going to need a non-magical solution."</p>
<p>"What!" said Sparrow. "Are you saying there’s no magic that can help us? Surely there’s an advanced spell in the library somewhere."</p>
<p>"And you could find it and perfect it in an hour? I don’t think so. You’d have to get to the – oh, you’ve got the advanced charm book checked out again."</p>
<p>Sparrow flipped through the pages. "See here, this is the medical section. If we make our ears twice as large – "</p>
<p>"Please," said Cormac. "What I'm proposing is much easier, quicker, and simpler."</p>
<p>"What exactly are you proposing, then?"</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>There was one professor in the school, by the name of Mincent Warbeck, who stood approximately seven feet tall.</p>
<p>Sparrow and Cormac, at their age, were both about four feet five inches. So with Sparrow on Cormac’s shoulders, they came to a little under Warbeck’s height. It was fortunate that the standard wizarding uniform of black robes obscured so much in terms of shape and size, especially at night.</p>
<p>"This is completely ridiculous," whispered Sparrow.</p>
<p>"It will work," whispered Cormac. "The best way to slip past a guard is to look like you belong there."</p>
<p>The going along the upper corridor was tricky. The roof beams nearly hit Sparrow in the head and Cormac was struggling to maintain a steady pace, and Sparrow found herself having to lean one way and the other in a counterbalance as Cormac struggled to keep Sparrow upright. In the darkness they looked like a frightening giant man who was more than slightly tipsy. In the moonlight they looked like two twerps stacked on top of each other.</p>
<p>It was highly lucky, then, that Filch spotted them before they hit the next patch of moonlight.</p>
<p>"Who goes there?" said the luminous Filch, as he floated up through the floor. "Who is this wandering the halls at night? Who on earth are you?"</p>
<p>Sparrow put on her best Mincent Warbeck voice. "My name," said Sparrow, "is Mincent Vincente Theodolphus Bombastus von Warbeck."</p>
<p>"Oh right," said Filch. "The new professor. What do you teach again?"</p>
<p>"Um – "</p>
<p>"Arithmency," whispered Cormac.</p>
<p>"Arithmency," said Sparrow.</p>
<p>"What was that? I thought I heard something."</p>
<p>"I heard it too," said Sparrow. "Very strange. Almost like someone whispering. Almost like someone is here with us. Hm. Might be an intruder. Tell you what. You search that way – " she pointed behind her – "and I’ll search ahead."</p>
<p>"Your arms are oddly short for a tall man," said Filch.</p>
<p>"Er…one of the students played a nasty prank. That black-haired Slytherin girl. Haven’t shaken the effects off yet."</p>
<p>"Ah yes," said Filch. "Jocasta Carrow. She brings back bad memories. But I don’t think we should search that way. You just came from that way and you didn’t see anything. Why don’t we search forward together?"</p>
<p>"Uh…Plenty of things in this wizarding world are invisible," said Sparrow. "Such as can only be revealed with the wave of a wand. Tell you what. You search forward that way and I’ll search back the way I came, just to see if I missed something."</p>
<p>"If it is an intruder," said Filch, "I ought to be alerting the castle right now."</p>
<p>"I’m sure it’s just a student out of bed," said Sparrow.</p>
<p>"You said it was an intruder." Filch narrowed his eyes at Sparrow. "Which is it?"</p>
<p>"I must have been mistaken," said Sparrow. "It is far more likely to be a student out of bed. Hogwarts security is tight these days, as you said."</p>
<p>"Right," said Filch. "Well, Professor Mincent, I wish I could ask why you were also out of bed, considering that you have a reputation for sleeping like a log as soon as the sun goes down. In fact, I will ask. What exactly are you doing, wandering the upper corridor, which happens to lead to the Dragon Tower, where I just so happened to catch two students waiting for a friend, such that I nearly had to serve them detentions before I got the whole story?"</p>
<p>"Uh – "</p>
<p>"Not to mention that the portraits saw them sneaking around. They also informed me that two other students were out of bed after hours, one of them carrying a bundle of cloth."</p>
<p>"Well, you see – "</p>
<p>"Leave your explanations. I’m inclined to be lenient tonight."</p>
<p>"Um – "</p>
<p>"Goodnight, Sparrow Jones. I will dock you and your friend there fifty house points each from Hufflepuff, but you may go on to your meeting. There is someone you should meet."</p>
<p>He floated off.</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>The Dragon Tower stood gleaming alabaster in the moonlight, a tower taller and far wider than the astronomy tower.</p>
<p>Before Sparrow, at the base of the Dragon Tower, stood a Wizard whose image Sparrow could swear was just a bit brighter and clearer than what the moonlight allowed. A Wizard of Lincoln-green hair and Lincoln-green eyes, dressed in a Lincoln-green robe, a Lincoln-green cloak, a Lincoln-green pointed hat, and a Lincoln green scarf.</p>
<p>"May I present Blaise Brown," said Violet. "The middle child of my house."</p>
<p>"And no longer its heir," said Blaise, "after I swore myself to this tower."</p>
<p>"Oh," said Sparrow. "So <em>that’s</em> your name. And <em>this</em> is where you wound up after you graduated. I am assuming you do not get on well with the Astronomy professor?"</p>
<p>"Ah, no," said Blaise. "She blames me for the tower’s existence. I will admit, I was far too eager to call this tower home as soon as it appeared. Perhaps I should have waited until I was politely invited, and graciously accepted with great and highly visible reluctance? But that would imply I cared what the school thought of me."</p>
<p>"Thank goodness you don’t," said Violet. "Or else you would have been quite annoyed by the fuss everyone raised."</p>
<p>"I was," said Blaise. "I have always been annoyed by the fuss everyone raises about everything. I just don’t care for everyone’s opinion. Old Professor Sinistra could raise as much fuss as she wanted, but one does not argue with dragons. I am glad that she finally put up and shut up."</p>
<p>"Even if the tower blocks her observations of the sky?"</p>
<p>"She can put an observation platform atop the flagpole, as far as I care. Just so long as she doesn’t bother me."</p>
<p>"Do you know why the tower arose?" said Cormac.</p>
<p>"I do not," said Blaise.</p>
<p>"Some say it came from all the extra defensive spells that were placed on the castle during the Battle of Hogwarts," said Violet. "Some blame it on goblins."</p>
<p>"Those are the people who blame goblins for everything," said Cormac. "Including Voldemort, taxes, and the fact that their tea’s gone cold."</p>
<p>"Could be many things," said Blaise. "Perhaps magic is waking up."</p>
<p>"And you?" said Sparrow. "The rumors are that you only appear on nights when the moon is full. Are you only awake on those nights?"</p>
<p>Blaise grinned. "Flights of fancy in the heads of creative children, alas. I am awake, and always busy."</p>
<p>"Ah," said Sparrow. She shook Blaise’s hand. "Well. Pleasure to meet you at last, mister…miss…"</p>
<p>"Maybe," said Blaise.</p>
<p>"Maybe Brown," said Sparrow. "Fair enough." She shivered. "Can you persuade one of these dragons to breathe a little fire on us? The night is quite cold."</p>
<p>"My apologies," said Blaise. "I prefer the fresh cool air when I can get it." They snapped their fingers. All of a sudden, the air about them was pleasantly warm.</p>
<p>"Thank you kindly," said Sparrow. She turned to Violet. "Now, why have you called me here? If it was for a Tryst, this location is hardly private."</p>
<p>Violet’s face turned red. "Excuse me?"</p>
<p>Sparrow shook her head. "Sorry, sorry. I’ve got a lot on my mind this evening. I might have spoken too frankly with someone I like and embarrassed them and then I did it again and now I’m doing it again and – and um – God Dammit, please just tell me what’s supposed to be going on here."</p>
<p>"Violet called you here," said Blaise, "because of me. To a certain extent."</p>
<p>"Explain," said Sparrow.</p>
<p>"Someday I will," said Blaise. "But I have answered enough questions tonight! You’re here for Violet’s questions, yes? Violet, go ahead and ask."</p>
<p>Violet looked sheepish for the first time that Sparrow had ever seen. "It’s a bit of an awkward thing to ask," she said. "Which is why I wanted to ask it here. This seems like an appropriately dramatic place. As well as sufficiently discreet. But now I’m thinking we should have done this in humbler settings."</p>
<p>"Go on," said Blaise. "I’m sure your friend doesn’t bite."</p>
<p>"Except when she wants to," said Cormac.</p>
<p>Sparrow whirled around. "Cormac! You can’t possibly know anything about that!"</p>
<p>"Anything about what?" said Cormac. "I was talking about your shield charm! What did you think I was – "</p>
<p>"Some people still have delicate matters on their mind, did you not consider that?"</p>
<p>"Delicate indeed," said Violet. "Ooh la la."</p>
<p>"For God’s sake," said Sparrow, "don’t you get started too!"</p>
<p>Violet and Blaise were both collapsing in fits of giggles. Sparrow crossed her arms and waited for them to cease.</p>
<p>After a few seconds Violet regained her composure, still wearing a mirthful grin. "Sorry about that," she said. "It was a good opportunity to break the ice. As for my question, yes, yes, I suppose I ought to get around to that now, shouldn’t I? All I wanted to know is if you really intend to break down the Statute of Secrecy."</p>
<p>For a few seconds no one spoke. The chilling wind alone had its say, as it picked up enough to set the flagpole clanking, high in the distance above.</p>
<p>"You are correct," said Sparrow. "It is an awkward question. I’ve had a fair few arguments about the matter with a good friend. Maybe I wound up driving her away. Maybe that makes it harder to talk about now. And yet – here you are, willing to ask me about it. Not openly disdainful like some of my fellow students, nor visibly exasperated nor chiding. Goodness, you’ve been meaning to ask me about this for weeks, haven’t you? I should have realized that you were bringing me here to discuss that subject. I wouldn’t feel like I had been caught off-guard – "</p>
<p>"You are stalling," said Cormac.</p>
<p>Sparrow shot him a glance. "The answer is yes. I would like to bring down the Statute of Secrecy. At the very least, I would like to be able to use the powers in our hands to restore some green to the world, without interference from people trying to maintain secrecy and seclusion. Would you consider that too much to ask?"</p>
<p>Violet did not answer, nor would she meet Sparrow’s eyes.</p>
<p>"What are your concerns?"</p>
<p>Again Violet did not answer, though she met Sparrow’s eyes this time.</p>
<p>"Would it reassure you to know that I am not entirely committed to such a course?"</p>
<p>"It would," said Violet. "I study Wizarding History as much as you do, you know. I’m having my misgivings. I was worried that you were not having misgivings. Because I know about what muggles did to us. I know what awful things they did in their fear. If they knew that we existed again…it could go bad again, and we’d wind up hiding again. But." She gestured at Blaise. "My sibling here, they’re practically a dragon by now – "</p>
<p>"Come now," said Blaise. "I haven’t even grown scales yet."</p>
<p>" – and dragons shouldn’t be cooped up like they are now, forced to wait until the rainy season to go flying at all. And I’ve been thinking about this idea ever since you started blathering about it."</p>
<p>"Ah yes," said Sparrow. "I haven’t been very discreet about my opinions, have I?"</p>
<p>"Quite. And I’ve been studying muggle history too. Which is why I’m still torn, because the things they did to each other…do not bear repeating, not now. That’s a story for later."</p>
<p>"What would make the decision for you?"</p>
<p>Violet looked up to the heavens. "Ideas too wild to venture. Of all the people in the school…you’re the safest person to stand behind but possibly the least safe to confide in. If I explained things to you fully, I might wither under the stern gaze of the girl who fancies herself something of a Disapproving Mother to the students."</p>
<p>"Is…that really how I come across?"</p>
<p>"When you don’t even give me a chance to defend myself? Yes. That’s how I see it, anyway. So I couldn’t venture ideas around you unless I believed in them strongly myself, strongly enough to hold onto them despite stern judgement."</p>
<p>Sparrow considered the possibility of admitting that she did, in fact, hold the student body in a fair amount of contempt. She thought better of it. "Surely," she said, "despite the risk of my haughty air, I would be the most receptive person in the school for you to ask about the Statute of Secrecy."</p>
<p>"Ah," said Violet. "Perhaps so. But then, what if I do discuss it with you, and you decide it’s time to get the ball rolling? Then I would feel responsible."</p>
<p>"It’s my idea," said Sparrow. "I thought of it first."</p>
<p>"Technically it was Carlotta Pinkstone’s idea first, decades before you."</p>
<p>"Who do you think I’m drawing inspiration from? I know Wizarding history."</p>
<p>Cormac was gazing up at the heavens. "Funny it is," he said. "People have tried to reach the stars, and gotten as far as the moon. But no further. If Wizards could help, would we all reach the stars eventually? But magic and electricity don't mix when magic is concentrated. Talk about a spoilsport."</p>
<p>Violet blinked. "Okay," she said, "you guessed my wild idea. And you stole my thunder. Thanks for that."</p>
<p>"Ideas go nowhere if we keep them to ourselves," said Cormac. "I’ve always admired Sparrow here for being outspoken about an idea that is, frankly, hazardous to her life and limb. There’s still pureblood supremacists in the world, you know."</p>
<p>"I know," said Sparrow. "But there’s so much I want to know about the world entire, and the way things are right now…I’m more than a little stifled."</p>
<p>"Spoken like a Ravenclaw," said Cormac. "Yet, what is the goal of this knowledge? A Ravenclaw seeks knowledge for its own sake. A slytherin would gather knowledge for the sake of power. A Gryffindor gathers knowledge for the sake of adventure. What does a Hufflepuff gather knowledge for?"</p>
<p>"For protecting my friends," said Sparrow. "Why do you think I can do a good shield charm?"</p>
<p>"The love of friends," said Blaise. "Spoken like a true Hufflepuff. Well, Sparrow. Speaking as the only legal adult in this situation, I should say that I am simultaneously impressed and disturbed by your great ambitions at a tender age. Not that I am necessarily surprised. I am quite familiar with Violet, after all. But, like I said, I am disturbed. You all are how old, exactly?"</p>
<p>"Fourteen," said Sparrow.</p>
<p>"Thirteen," said Violet.</p>
<p>"Fourteen," said Cormac. "But we’re all Fourth Years, is the important part."</p>
<p>"Exactly. Old enough to get a sense of your distinctive capabilities, yet young enough to know nothing of patience nor very much of endurance. Just…keep that in mind before you all get in over your heads. I wouldn’t want to lose my sister to this business, nor two new friends."</p>
<p>"You live with dragons," said Cormac, "and you’re counseling us about danger?"</p>
<p>"They invited me," said Blaise. "And I keep this door shut. So don’t go tut-tutting at me, young man. Now, it’s all well past everyone’s bed time and I’m sure you all have work to do tomorrow. So if you have time later and you can all sneak back to me, I may tell you more about my situation. I’m sure you have stories to tell me as well. As for now -- I have my own work to do. Some dragons are restless in the moonlight."</p>
<p>A long silver head on a long silver neck stuck itself out of a window and breathed white fire into the sky.</p>
<p>"And restless dragons, only me and Charlie Weasley can handle. So it is time for you to go."</p>
<p>"Wait," said Sparrow. "I…had one more question."</p>
<p>"Yyyyyyes?"</p>
<p>"When you ride on a dragon, do you – "</p>
<p>"Ahem!" said Blaise. "I do not <em>ride</em> dragons, Sparrow. They are gracious enough to carry me here and there, now and then, by their leave."</p>
<p>Sparrow rolled her eyes. "Fine. When you happen to be up in the sky on a dragon’s back, what does the land look like to you?"</p>
<p>Blaise looked grim. "That is certainly not the question I expected."</p>
<p>"But can you answer it?"</p>
<p>"The land looks like grief," said Blaise. "Grief, and loss. I see so many little villages, burned and abandoned, and I see how many people the land once kept alive, and how few survive now. I see whole forests of dead and blackened trees. I wonder how anyone survives. For us it’s easy. For muggles…but that is a family matter, and not your concern."</p>
<p>"What happened to those villages?" said Cormac. "Did…dragons burn them all, or something?"</p>
<p>Blaise folded their arms. "I think you would do well to avoid insulting dragonkind when you are standing right beneath them."</p>
<p>Sparrow looked up. There was the silver dragon, glowering down at everyone.</p>
<p>"Restless dragons," said Blaise. "Be off, now."</p>
<p>The children hurried back to the Astronomy tower and down the stairs.</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Cormac and Sparrow stood before the barrels that concealed the entrance to the Hufflepuff common room. Sparrow raised her hand to knock on what she thought was the right barrel, but someone in the darkness knocked on a different one, and there was a splashing sound.</p>
<p>"My goodness," said Cormac. "It sounds as though someone has tried to prank us, and has failed. Hello, Jocasta."</p>
<p>Jocasta spluttered. "I suppose that’s my fault. I should have picked the barrel above your head. So what happened at the tower? Did you have that romantic liaison after all?"</p>
<p>"You’re still on about that!" said Sparrow. "For Dimbledore’s sake, Jocasta – "</p>
<p>"Dumbledore. It’s Dumbledore. You make yourself sound like a total m – muggleborn."</p>
<p>"I am impressed," said Cormac. "You avoided the M-word deliberately. I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard a Slytherin do that."</p>
<p>"Yeah, well." Jocasta muttered, and waved her wand at her sleeves to dry them. "Last time I called someone a…M-word…they licked their hand and slapped it on my face, and then everyone started singing about how I had mud on my face, and they started stomping and clapping. It was really weird. I’m not going to risk that again. Anyway, Sparrow. Was there any kissy-kiss?"</p>
<p>"Nothing romantic happened," said Sparrow. "Just business. It was kind of annoying, really."</p>
<p>"So what DID happen?"</p>
<p>"I don’t trust you enough to tell you," said Sparrow.</p>
<p>"Humph," said Jocasta. "Bet I know what that’s about." She disappeared into the shadows.</p>
<p>Cormac prepared to knock on the correct door. But he hesitated. "Argus said there were two friends waiting for us."</p>
<p>"Blaise and Violet, right?"</p>
<p>"He didn’t know the situation was about Blaise until he was informed. And they’re not a student anyway. So who was it? How did they get up to the tower without alerting Filch in the first place?"</p>
<p>"Boo," said a voice that Sparrow hadn’t heard in a while.</p>
<p>Cormac jumped.</p>
<p>There was Jill at the far wall, holding her Nimbus Plus Ultra. She was not meeting Sparrow's gaze, at first, but Cormac's – and he nodded once, and she nodded, as if both had decided upon something.</p>
<p>Sparrow could not tell what it was, nor did she care in this moment, for Jill was here, and Sparrow only cared to wrap her arms around her best friend.</p>
<p>Jill, for her part, reciprocated. "I always enjoy your embrace," she said. "I wanted to let you know that."</p>
<p>"Does that mean you want to talk to me again?"</p>
<p>"Maybe. I have some things to think about. Give me a week or so."</p>
<p>"As you wish." Sparrow let her go, and they entered the common room.</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>Unfortunately, within that week someone managed to spread a rumor that Violet Brown and Sparrow Jones were dating, and the student body was proving very difficult to convince otherwise.</p>
<p>Which meant that Jill was suddenly not on speaking terms with Sparrow again. And this time Someone left a note on Sparrow’s pillow that said, <em>I wish you well in your new relationship</em>.</p>
<p>Sparrow was tempted to crumple it up and toss it out the window. But she did not open windows at night until the dry season was well and truly over. And besides, it was something from Jill. She slipped it into her pocket, and fell asleep grumbling.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. The Return of Jill</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>What do you say when your best friend who ditched you decides to start talking to you again?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a morning in late November, and the steady rain down rained down, fully quenching the thirsty earth. It would become a right downpour in December, and not let up until January, and the lake would fill once more. In the wet season, within the concealing curtain of rain, the headmistress saw fit to more openly manipulate things, and the rain tended to avoid hitting the castle. But it was still becoming the dreary season. Well. The other kind of dreary.</p><p>"The use of charms," said Professor Flutwick, "is to add properties to an object. You know that well enough. But why bother to charm something when you can transfigure it? Yes, Miss Jones?"</p><p>"You don’t want to transform the object because you don’t want to hurt it."</p><p>"That is not quite correct," said Flutwick. "Transfigurations, unless Miss Jones is doing them – " the entire class giggled – "do not permanently injure the object, whereas charms, especially dark charms, can cause permanent changes to the object. What is the answer? Zabini?"</p><p>"You want to do something to the object that a transfiguration can’t achieve. You can’t transfigure a teacup into a portkey."</p><p>"Indeed, Zabini, indeed. One might say that a transfiguration is an illusion powerful enough to become reality, whereas a charm is a matter of rewriting reality without bothering with illusions at all. One must be careful, of course." And Professor Flutwick went on speaking for some time about the cheering charm.</p><p>Sparrow was not paying his words attention, but was contemplating the man’s stature. Was he, in fact, a different person than old Flitwick? There were no rumors about either man that she’d heard, other than a penchant for treacle. And yet, if he was the old man, why choose a new name that was so damn obvious? Why even bother to put on such a ruse, when Wizards could live for ages and ages?</p><p>After class, and having plenty of time this time, she confronted Flutwick with her suspicion.</p><p>"Bold as ever," said Flutwick. "Why, you even tower angrily over me." He waved his wand at Sparrow, and she shrunk to his height with an awkward squawk.</p><p>"What the hell was that for!" said Sparrow.</p><p>"It is as I said during class, if you were paying attention. Charms are a way of writing our will upon reality, even if only for a moment. Now, as for my own situation, let me say this: Professor Flitwick died and was buried. Wink."</p><p>"Wink?"</p><p>"Precisely. Now, off you go." He waved his wand and returned her to her original height.</p><p>Sparrow stumbled out the door, dizzy from the sudden changes.</p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>The upper-floor corridor was dark as a tomb in the midnight’s downpour. Sparrow was practicing the night-vision charm that she had found in a book a few days ago. It seemed to be working well, although perhaps too well. Argus Filch was lit up like a Christmas tree.</p><p>"Do you want me to be docking fifty house points again," said Filch, "and calling the head of your house? Or are you going to go back to bed?"</p><p>"I really want to talk to Blaise," said Sparrow. "I’m ready for the whole story."</p><p>"Hrmph. Well. It’s not like they’d be available."</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"The moon’s not out."</p><p>"But – oh, goodness, you’re right. That means I won’t see them again until the dry season."</p><p>"Then I take it that means you won’t be trying to sneak by me up here again?"</p><p>"I can’t guarantee that."</p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>The next day Sparrow confronted Professor Flutwick again. This time with her wand ready.</p><p>"You’ve learned," said Professor Flutwick. "It seems you have learned not to trust me."</p><p>"Damn right," said Sparrow.</p><p>"So will you be this defensive every time we converse?"</p><p>"I think it would be prudent. You did terrible things to me."</p><p>"Indeed, indeed. And I didn’t even ask, did I? What an awful way to treat people." He wiggled his eyebrows.</p><p>"I just wanted to ask you," said Sparrow, "about the nature of charms."</p><p>Flutwick raised an eyebrow. "I thought we went over that in class yesterday."</p><p>"I mean the nature of spells in general."</p><p>Flutwick raised the other eyebrow. "Well, erm. My dear. That’s a very high-level question. Shouldn’t you be focusing on HOW to do the spells, at your age? In fact, I think you should be focusing more in my class. Your levitation charm is quite a bit wobbly. Yes, that will be your extra homework. You must practice Wingardium Leviosa tonight. I want to see you do it much better by tomorrow."</p><p>"But – "</p><p>"Off you go."</p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Good old Cormac was not in the common room that evening.</p><p>Nor was anyone else, besides Jill. Which was odd indeed, for the room was normally full of students doing homework at this hour.</p><p>Jill stood there looking like she wanted to speak to Sparrow again. Sparrow did not acknowledge her, at first, for she was scanning the gaps beneath the doors of the girl’s and boys dormitories. One of them had an Extendable Ear in it. Sparrow pointed her wand at the ear and said "Expeliarmus," but what came out was little more powerful than a flicking finger.</p><p>"We’re not going to get any privacy here," said Sparrow. "Walk with me?"</p><p>"People will think we’ve gone out for a snog," said Jill.</p><p>"Perfect," said Sparrow. "It will counter all those rumors about me and Violet."</p><p>"You mean you and her – "</p><p>"Did you actually bother to ask her?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Did you bother to ask me? No. Come on." Sparrow started for the door and motioned for Jill to follow her. "If we hit up the library I think Violet would be the only person there at this hour."</p><p>…</p><p>Sparrow and Jill strode along the middle third-floor corridor. Some Ravenclaw students were hurrying to bed, under the watchful eyes of the portraits. If the portraits were confused about why two girls were strolling without hurry, they said nothing, for the Ravenclaw Tower entrance was, this evening, in the direction that the two girls were going, and it was not yet after curfew. Close, perhaps. But the moon had not risen. And so the girls were able to walk rather close to each other, as close as either dared, though not arm in arm.</p><p>"Speak to me for once," said Sparrow.</p><p>"What would you have me say?"</p><p>"Whatever you wish to say. I’m sure there is much you want to tell me."</p><p>"I’m not sure how to say it."</p><p>"May I ask a question, then?"</p><p>"I can hardly stop you. I can hardly stop you from doing anything. No one can."</p><p>Sparrow sighed. "I wish that were the case. Someday it may be. But answer me this – why have you been avoiding me for so long? I miss your warmth. Why have you been so cold?"</p><p>"Because of what you said! You said you couldn’t understand why I would be embarrassed about what Jocasta said!"</p><p>"Well I couldn’t."</p><p>"Maybe not. But the situation wasn’t about you, was it? It was about me. It was about what I was thinking. I feel like you don’t ever really stop to think about what other people are thinking."</p><p>"I think about other people all the time."</p><p>"But are you thinking about what they’re thinking?"</p><p>"Well I hardly know it, do I?"</p><p>"You could ask them."</p><p>"True enough, Miss Ditches-Her-Friends. Ah, the library. Here we are." She took Jill by the hand and dragged Jill through the door.</p><p>Sparrow had been in Muggle libraries in her early youth. They tended to be bright places, full of laughter and conversation, with sunlight pouring through windows. This library, by contrast, was a place of dark old oak wood, and hushed whispers.</p><p>Mostly from the students.</p><p>"Why exactly did you want to bring me in here?" said Jill.</p><p>"I wanted to get your opinion on a particular topic of study," said Sparrow. "Someplace we wouldn’t be overheard."</p><p>"Well what if the books hear us?" said Jill. "What if the librarian is still here? If this place closes and we’re still in here and we get caught, we’re going to look suspicious. And furthermore, I haven’t got a chance to say everything I wanted to say to you."</p><p>"Go ahead, then."</p><p>"Not here," said Jill. "Anywhere else, please."</p><p>"Then let us leave," said Sparrow. "We might be able to evade the prefects if we hurry back." She moved back to the door.</p><p>The library doors were still open. But suddenly they were less open.</p><p>As Sparrow dashed forward, the doors closed with a boom. She pulled at the handle. It would not budge.</p><p>She drew her wand and whispered, "Alohamora". The door still would not budge. "That’s a problem," she said. "I guess the librarian takes their security seriously."</p><p>"Did you plan this?"</p><p>"Did I what!" said Sparrow, as she turned to Jill.</p><p>"Oh," said Jill, "Your face looks – I’m sorry. That was totally uncalled for. Maybe I should just stand over here." She sidled towards a stack of books.</p><p>"No!" Sparrow grabbed Jill’s hand.</p><p>Jill looked shocked. "Sparrow, what – "</p><p>"Please," said Sparrow. "Don’t. Don’t leave me again."</p><p>For a moment, they held each other’s gaze, neither one daring to say anything. For what Sparrow could see on Jill’s face was not anger, not a trace of it – only pain.</p><p>And a curious gleam in her eyes. It was almost as if they were reflecting a hearth fire.</p><p>Jill blinked, and shook her head. The gleam vanished. Sparrow let her hand go.</p><p>"Alright," said Jill, "I think if we can’t get out, we might as well have that talk in here. Let’s just find some seats."</p><p>But no sooner did she pull her chair out from the table than there was a snarling noise, and an unearthly howl, from somewhere in the distance. Jill shoved her chair back to the table and drew her wand. She started towards the sound.</p><p>Sparrow darted in front of her. "Behind me," said Sparrow. "I’ve got the unbreakable shield."</p><p>"It’s not a perfect one!" said Jill. "And I need to practice mine."</p><p>"I can’t cast offensive spells," said Sparrow. "You hold a shield in front of you, right? Not behind you."</p><p>"Depends on what you’re guarding against."</p><p>"Well, if it comes to an actual fight, I’d like you to survive long enough to get a stunner in, at least."</p><p>"What about you surviving long enough? Just stay here. I can blast away anything I need to."</p><p>"You know full well I’m coming with you, Jill."</p><p>"And <em>you</em> know full well that I want to keep you safe."</p><p>"Oh, is that why you’ve been distant for a month?"</p><p>"<em>Yes.</em>" Jill marched forward, leaving Sparrow standing there dumbfounded.</p><p>"Wait," said Sparrow, as she ran to catch up. "Jill, I said don’t leave me. So I’m not leaving you."</p><p>"You should."</p><p>"Absolutely not!" She grabbed Jill’s hand again. "I absolutely do not care what you think of yourself right now. Right now, <em>my best friend</em> is <em>walking into danger</em>, which means that I’m coming along because <em>I have the unbreakable shield.</em>"</p><p>"It’s not perfectly invincible!"</p><p>"Close enough!" said Sparrow. "Nine hundred and ninety-seven successes out of a thousand is a pretty damn good score!"</p><p>"I’d say you’ve cast the Shield Charm more times than that, but fine. You really want to walk into danger beside me?"</p><p>"I refuse to abandon my friends. Once was enough. Not again. Never again."</p><p>"Side by side it is," said Jill. "Shield on one side, sword on the other."</p><p>"Makes perfect sense to me."</p><p>They moved forward together, wands at the ready, towards where they had last heard the snarl. There was a deep growl, farther away this time but in the same direction. Then, the creak of a rusty hinge, and a metallic slamming sound, as if a heavy gate had been shut.</p><p>"Sounds like it went into the forbidden section," said Jill. "But…only the librarian has the key, right? How did that creature get the key?"</p><p>"Onward," said Sparrow. "Our answer lies ahead."</p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>The forbidden section of the library was forbidden for two reasons. One, it was full of books that contained knowledge too dangerous for students to be dealing with on an uncontrolled basis. Dark magic of all kinds. Yech. Not the sort of thing you were allowed to look at unless you could give your professor a really good excuse about needing to study evil.</p><p>Two, it was full of books that were, by themselves, dangerous. Sparrow had no idea why the school had decided to stock copies of the Monster Book of Monsters, but then, if anyone in the Wizarding World was going to put that stupid thing anywhere, it might as well be the forbidden section of the library of Hogwarts.</p><p>And the Monster Book of Monsters had a lot of friends. So Sparrow had to keep her shield spell up, and essentially plow her way through a pile of very angry books. There was one with long spider legs, and one with a nasty stinger tail, and a lot of books that had big grasping hands with sharp claws.</p><p>If the girl had been alone, she might have faltered and been overwhelmed. But she could not, would not, for Jill was beside her, and Jill had never done a proper shield spell yet.</p><p>Fortunately for them, Jill was pretty good at the basic stunning spell, and put it to good use by zapping any books that had circled around behind the shield. And so the girls inched forward through the forbidden section, in a whirlwind of paper and fangs.</p><p>"I think these books are angry at us!" said Sparrow. "I wonder why."</p><p>"Think about it," said Jill. "For once, think about – stupefy! – think about what someone else might be thinking." She gestured to the bookshelves, which were oddly empty. "Look at this barren shelving. My mother told me this section used to be full. What do you think happened that – stupefy! – what do you think happened that would have taken these books away? Stupefy!"</p><p>"The aftermath of Voldemort?"</p><p>"Stupefy! Precisely. Cormac told me that his father in the Ministry library was in charge of adding a bunch of new forbidden texts to the restricted section there. That’s assuming that some titles weren’t destroyed outright. So maybe all of these forbidden books were whisked away to a section that was a hell of a lot more secure than this school, and the ones that were left were the ones that were just mean, not full of dangerous knowledge."</p><p>"And they’re attacking us because we’re on their turf and they’re sad that they lost their friends?"</p><p>"Exactly!"</p><p>"But what about the books that are still on the shelf?"</p><p>"Maybe they’re also monster books. And they just haven’t gone after us yet."</p><p>"We passed them, didn’t we? So why did they not –"</p><p>There was a sound, as of the rustling paper of many books.</p><p>"Can you make that shield a dome?" said Jill.</p><p>"I, uh – "</p><p>The rustling was getting closer. "I need that boldness now, Sparrow. Come up with something fast." Jill was firing off stunners as fast as she could but the press of books was beginning to overwhelm her.</p><p>"Talk to me," said Sparrow.</p><p>"About what, exactly!"</p><p>"About why you followed me into Hufflepuff. You proved yourself as bold as I am, didn’t you? You were the only one besides me in our first year that wanted to touch the dragons. You jumped on a broom before anyone else did, and you did it from a second story balcony. You would have been perfect in Gryffindor. You would have been able to hang out with all your brothers and sisters every evening, and speak to them more often before they graduated. So why did you follow me?"</p><p>"How do you know I followed you?"</p><p>"Because you were so embarrassed when Jocasta said it. It must have hit a nerve."</p><p>"Stupefy! Well, now you’re thinking about other people – stupefy! – so that’s a good start. And you’re right, and – stupefy! – Jocasta was right – stupefy! – and it was because of that shield charm you cast. Stupefy! The first one, remember?"</p><p>Sparrow had been standing in line with the rest of the first years, waiting for her turn with the hat. And a Fanged Frisbee had come whirling out of the crowd. Before anyone else could react, even the teachers, Sparrow had her wand out and had deflected the Frisbee.</p><p>It had been highly unusual, because beginning first years weren’t supposed to know shield charms yet, or much magic at all. They had purchased their spellbooks, of course, but nobody had expected them to READ the things, nor to practice anything in them before the start of the term, nor yet to perfect it.</p><p>"Alright, so did you think I was going to go into Ravenclaw?"</p><p>"Yes," said Jill. "I fully expected you to be sorted into that house, or into Gryffindor. But you picked Hufflepuff. You PICKED a house. That doesn’t happen often, does it? People go where they’re placed by a wiser person. Or someone they think is wiser. Older, at the very least. And you didn’t. You made a choice. So I decided I would make one, too, and follow you. Because I…wanted to see what you would get up to."</p><p>"I get the impression that you like what you saw."</p><p>"Yeah, see, there you are thinking about what I’m thinking now."</p><p>"I’ve been doing it for a month!"</p><p>"What, really?"</p><p>"Yes!" said Sparrow. "Really! I have been <em>agonizing</em> over why you left me. I have wondered how much of the matter was my fault, and I was – I was scared you wouldn’t ever come back. I kept trying to reach you, you kept drawing away – you say you wanted to make sure I was safe. But you never told me what was going on. So I didn’t feel safe at all."</p><p>"Oh," said Jill. "Well. Heh. Guess I’m turning into my parents already."</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"Nothing!" said Jill. "I’m sorry. There’s a lot I want to tell you and there’s a lot I can’t. Just – think of it this way. Over the years, you’ve intercepted half of any flying prank that came someone’s way. If any student was being menaced, and you were there, it was a guarantee you’d jump into the situation, even if it was not your responsibility."</p><p>"Don’t remind me," said Sparrow. "I still remember when McGonagall gave me a long lecture about how I shouldn’t be barging into the jurisdiction of the adults."</p><p>"Well why did you bother?" said Jill. "Most of those incidents didn’t even involve anything flying at you specifically. You saved everyone from Fanged Frisbees, India-Ink Eggs, falling light fixtures, dung bombs…why? Why be so bold as to defend someone you don’t even know?"</p><p>"Excuse me?" said Sparrow. "You used to do that all the time before you let me handle it."</p><p>"I know my own motivations. I just don’t know yours."</p><p>"Fine," said Sparrow. "I don’t like to see people hurt. That’s all."</p><p>"Is it that simple?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Do you want to tell me about it?"</p><p>"I want Blaise to hear the whole story too. I don’t want to tell it twice."</p><p>The monster books on Sparrow’s side had gone. So had the books on Jill’s side. All that was left was a pile of tomes that lay stunned. "I think we’re safe now," said Jill. "Let’s press forward."</p><p>Sparrow looked around.</p><p>All the books on the shelves had gone.</p><p>There was a rustling of paper all around them.</p><p>And it was growing very close.</p><p>"What I’m gathering from your story," said Sparrow, "is that you are very much interested in me. Is that correct?"</p><p>"Of course! We’re still best friends, right?"</p><p>"I don’t know. I don’t know if you still want to be. You abandoned me for a week, and then held yourself distant. Perhaps, in the short amount of time we have, you’d be willing to explain why. I have an idea but I’d prefer to hear it from you."</p><p>The rustling of paper was growing louder.</p><p>"I, uh –– "</p><p>"It’s clear to me that you’re prone to feeling embarrassed and ashamed but we’re running out of time here, so I’m going to take a wild guess and say that you have a crush on me, and that you’ve had it for a while. Am I right?"</p><p>Jill’s face reddened. "Damn it. Yes. I’ve been crushing on you for years. And calling it a crush is an understatement."</p><p>The rustling was nearly on top of them.</p><p>"I think I’ve been doing the same thing. I like you. I mean – I mean maybe my idea here will work. If you would be so kind, kiss me."</p><p>"What!"</p><p>Rustle, rustle.</p><p>"Oh, do you not want to?"</p><p>"I didn’t say that!"</p><p>Rustle, rustle.</p><p>"Then do it! We’ve got about three – "</p><p>Jill planted a hard one on Sparrow’s lips. In the same moment, the books burst out of the stacks from every direction, fully intending to tear the two children to shreds. Sparrow, still locked in the kiss, pointed her wand in a random direction and said clearly within her mind, <em>Wingardium Leviosa</em>.</p><p>If Professor Budge’s theory was right, and sheer determination could make a shield spell as hard as iron, perhaps sheer elation could make someone as light as air. Or, in this case, everything around the caster.</p><p>About five seconds later, Jill finally released the kiss, and Sparrow opened her eyes.</p><p>Thousands of books hovered in mid-air around the two girls, having been halted in mid-leap. They snapped furiously, unable to escape the spell or move forward at all.</p><p>Nor would Jill yet let Sparrow out of her arms. "I have wished to keep you close," she said, hugging Sparrow a bit more tightly. "I have wished to keep you close, and safe in my arms, for many years. Even after I came to understand that you hardly needed such protection. And when I saw what you would do for others, how much of yourself you would give for their sake – I saw someone after my own heart. I have loved you nearly as long as I have known you."</p><p>"And I have felt the same for you," said Sparrow. "It was hard to say. Easy to demonstrate but hard to communicate. But I will say it now. I love you."</p><p>"I know," said Jill. "You have demonstrated it so many times over the years. I needed no more physical defense than you! And yet, we have always been there for each other…until recently."</p><p>"And you say you were running away from me to keep me safe?"</p><p>Jill nodded.</p><p>"You put yourself through all that, and me through all that, out of love, and not anger."</p><p>"I’d like to think my intentions were good, yes. I am sorry that I miscalculated the effect my actions would have on you."</p><p>Sparrow sighed. "Better good intentions and an apology than bad intentions and no apology. As it is, we have taken care of each other all these years. So let’s keep doing that. And keep each other close. Will you run from me again?"</p><p>Jill let Sparrow out of her arms at last. "Never more than an arm’s length." She gazed around at the floating books. "Goodness, this is impressive spellwork. When did you learn to do this?"</p><p>"Just now," said Sparrow. "I had a bit of help, from a very good friend."</p><p>And as they left the forbidden section, Sparrow could see Jill just as clear and bright in her eyes as once she had been.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Miranda's Folly</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Someone knows more about their craft than they're letting on.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The two girls awoke at the library table in the morning.</p><p>Having escaped the forbidden section intact, Jill had suggested that they go to sleep at the table by resting their heads on some open books, so as to pretend that they had fallen asleep in the library.</p><p>Yet when they awoke, the books had been moved into a stack next to them.</p><p>Even though there was nobody else in the library yet.</p><p>Sparrow and Jill rose, and checked the doors. They remained closed.</p><p>The librarian was nowhere to be seen.</p><p>"I really would like to get out of here," said Sparrow. "I’ve been caught sneaking around after dark too often."</p><p>"I thought you liked my alibi!" said Jill. "It’s perfect."</p><p>"I thought it was perfect," said Sparrow. "But think about it this way. We’re stuck in the library all night, right? We never sent an owl, never tried to call anyone for help, and I’m dead certain the administration knows there’s a monster in here every night, because the library doors can’t be opened after hours. So what are they going to think when we claim to have just ‘fallen asleep’ in the library? At the very least they’ll be suspicious."</p><p>"I revise my assessment," said Jill. "You’re better at putting yourself in the shoes of other people than I thought."</p><p>"I’m giving it a shot. Now, how are we going to get out of here?"</p><p>"Wait until the doors open?" said Jill. "And then duck out like nothing’s the matter?"</p><p>"Hide in the stacks and start studying," said Sparrow, "and maybe people will think we just got in before they did. Come on. There’s a book I want to ask you about anyway."</p><p>Sparrow led Jill to the history section. There were huge tomes and skinny tomes. The section on wizard-muggle relations was fairly substantial. "Here it is," said Sparrow. "Late seventeenth century." She hefted a weighty tome off the shelf and thumped it down on the table. "There’s only one big thing that happened in that decade."</p><p>"Oh come on," said Jill. "I thought you were off that subject for once. Half the reason I ditched Violet that one evening is because I didn’t want to hear you two talk about it."</p><p>"Indeed," said a voice from the end of the stack. "It is a touchy subject. And the librarian hears many whispers and rumors spoken within his walls. You are already spoken of frequently, Miss Jones, and not in the best of lights."</p><p>There stood The Librarian.</p><p>He was a grey man, grey of hair and grey of face and grey of clothing. No one knew his name. No one had ever asked. To the students, he was simply the one who signed out their books, and who put the shelves back in order. Sparrow had heard much from Ravenclaws about consulting the library, but not one had ever mentioned consulting the Librarian. For all intents and purposes he was a background figure at the school.</p><p>Sparrow sometimes wondered if he <em>was</em> background, if he had somehow unpeeled himself from the background itself and stepped forward, bringing that hazy blurriness with him. Whenever Sparrow looked at him directly, he seemed as dim and blurry as Jill was bright and clear. It was as if someone had taken the very visual effect Jill presented, and reversed it. He had less presence than Professor Binns.</p><p>"What’s your name?" said Sparrow.</p><p>The Librarian looked confused. "Name? Name. Erm. You know, I stopped asking myself after a while. I don’t leave the library, and nobody says much of anything to me. So, I stopped remembering what it was myself. Perhaps you could give me one?"</p><p>"You must pick for yourself," said Sparrow.</p><p>The Librarian looked around at the shelves. He dragged a massive book off the shelf, opened it, and pointed to a section. "There. Timothy Treadpoor. You shall call me Tim."</p><p>"Very well," said Sparrow. "Tim it is."</p><p>"Now, about this whole studying business," said Tim. "You want to learn about the Statute of Wizarding Secrecy, hm?"</p><p>"I do," said Sparrow. "And yet, if I were to ask Professor Binns, word would get back to Hagrid, and I would have a detention. So I thought to ask the books."</p><p>"Books spill their secrets without hesitation," said Tim. "As might I."</p><p>"Oh no you won’t," said Jill. "You know we were here last night. We know what you are. If you leave us alone we’ll leave you alone. Deal?"</p><p>Tim was visibly shaken.</p><p>"That’s quite harsh," said Sparrow. "I have a better idea. Mr. Treadpoor, do you enjoy being a werewolf?"</p><p>"I…um. I don’t know. What’s it to you?"</p><p>"What if we could help you?" said Sparrow.</p><p>"How?"</p><p>"Figuring out how to cure your lycanthropy."</p><p>Tim stared in confusion.</p><p>"And then you help us learn about Wizarding history and legal precedent," said Sparrow. "Deal?"</p><p>"I cannot make a deal for something impossible," said Tim. "I am sorry. At the very least, I will keep your secret if you will keep mine. Just don’t let me catch you studying the Statute of Secrecy in here again."</p><p>Sparrow slammed the book shut. "Fine," she said. "Fine. Fine. Nobody wants to help me. But for God’s sake, let me help you. You’ve been shut up here for years because people are scared of you. At least let me try to get you out of that mess."</p><p>Tim sighed. "I really don’t think there’s anything you can do."</p><p>"We’re Wizards," said Sparrow. "The question is what we CAN’T do."</p><p>"We can’t study the Statute of Secrecy," said Jill.</p><p>"I have an idea of where we can," said Sparrow. "But we have to figure out how to get there."</p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>"Am I hearing you right?" said Cormac, in potions class. "You want to find a CURE for Lycanthropy?"</p><p>"I can goddamn well try," said Sparrow, as she was grinding beetle wings in a mortar. "There’s got to be something."</p><p>"There certainly is," said Professor Slughorn. "Alas, it has not worked for me, all these years. I have tried so many times and it just never went right."</p><p>Professor Slughorn was an old man, nearly as old as McGonagall. He had been more mobile, once, but these days he tended to levitate himself around on a chair. Accordingly the spaces between the rows in the potions classroom were wide. It made it easier to whisper about sensitive topics without being overheard, at least by other students. The professor, though, had a habit of managing to come around just when you were getting to the good part.</p><p>"Remind me what this method is," said Sparrow.</p><p>"It is a particular potion," said Slughorn, "that, when drunk before the full moon, will reduce one’s lycanthropy to the state of a regular wolf, as opposed to a vicious werewolf."</p><p>"And if you forget to drink it?"</p><p>"Ah, well," said Slughorn. "It is a terrible thing indeed to be a forgetful werewolf."</p><p>"Then the potion isn’t good enough," said Sparrow. "Not at all. I need something that only has to work once."</p><p>"Are you absolutely mad?" said Slughorn. "There’s no permanent cure for Lycanthropy."</p><p>"That’s what you think," said Sparrow. "How many people have tried to find one?"</p><p>"Well, I, er…I hardly know what they get up to at the Ministry, so I can’t say, can I? But nobody likes werewolves anyway, do they? It’s a surprise anyone bothered to come up with anything for them at all. Why don’t you concentrate on your potion of hiccup-curing and get back to work, Miss Jones."</p><p>The class passed in its usual dullness. Sparrow had not appreciated potions last year, and her opinion this year had not changed. There just didn’t seem to be much to them, not the way Slughorn was teaching. Potions for curing hiccups, potions for staying warm in the cold, potions for staying cold in the warm, all rather pedestrian stuff so far. Sparrow wondered if they were going to get into anything really interesting, or if that was for levels above fourth year. Surely the possibilities were endless? This was magic, after all. Nobody had found the boundaries, as far as she knew. Nor did anyone seem to know how to find them. They just did the things that worked, and they worked, and that was that.</p><p>And even in the library, Sparrow hadn’t been able to find anything in the way of theory. Just books of spells, history, law, poetry, and bestiaries. There was a section on theory. But it was empty.</p><p>Professor Budge had mentioned a Department of Mysteries. Perhaps they knew what was up. Or at least they knew how to find out. Or at least they had an idea. Maybe. At least they were given the job of trying. Sparrow decided to file that information away for later use. It wouldn’t do to go skipping off to the Ministry when she had classes to attend.</p><p>Her cauldron began to bubble and fizz. Sparrow realized that she had been grinding the beetle wings far too long, and the mixture was overboiling. She hastily dumped the ground beetle wings in.</p><p>The resulting explosion tossed her back into someone else’s cauldron, which spilled hot potion all over them, followed by a terrified scream that quickly became a snarl, as the poor student was transformed into a large fox. Goodness, who had she been sitting in front of again? Tall, dreadlocks, wait, could it be –</p><p>"Miranda McClivert!" roared Professor Slughorn, now out of his chair and glowering at the cowering fox. "Making unsanctioned potions in the middle of my classroom which had bugger-all to do with the lesson?"</p><p>"Could have been an accident," said Sparrow. "You know how it is with potions, professor, you let a bit of the beetle powder boil too long and – "</p><p>"There’s not a single ingredient in the hiccup potion that has anything to do with transfiguration!" said Slughorn. "Also, twenty points from Gryffindor for your negligence."</p><p>"Hufflepuff," said Sparrow. "Twenty points from hufflepuff."</p><p>"Don’t tell him!" whispered Cormac.</p><p>"I can’t imagine how this even happened," said Englebert Yaxley, a minuscule 4<sup>th</sup>-year Ravenclaw. "I’ve been sitting right next to her the entire time and she hasn’t been using any ingredients different than me –"</p><p>Slughorn glared at Yaxley.</p><p>" – and I’ve been making the hiccupping potion, thank you very much. But, uh. Her potion sure smells different than mine. Wonder how that happened."</p><p>Slughorn sniffed the air. "If I am not mistaken," he said, "that’s minced mandrake leaves. Ha! Ha! Well now, this is interesting, miss McClivert. You toss in one extra ingredient and that’s all it takes, eh? Didn’t think you knew potions as well as <em>that</em>."</p><p>The fox peeked its head out from under the desk.</p><p>"Let’s say thirty points from Gryfindor," said Slughorn, "and leave it at that."</p><p>So potions could clearly change a person’s shape. Maybe this was a means of getting past Filch. If she could take a form small enough, why then, how would he even notice her?</p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Slughorn hadn’t taken much effort to change Miranda back, fortunately, and she was able to walk out of the classroom with everyone else. But she had expressed no desire to speak with anyone, and had rushed off before Sparrow could catch her.</p><p>Sparrow spent much of the next day, a Saturday, looking through what library books she could find for details of shape-changing potions. Much of it was something called Polyjuice. Nasty stuff, and rather complicated. McClivert had been working with simple ingredients on a short time frame and only added a single extra ingredient, as far as Sparrow could see. No, there was nothing in the low-level potion books regarding animal transformations.</p><p>"Interested in potions now," said Tim the Librarian, "as if I don’t know what you’re up to."</p><p>"I’ll get to your potion eventually. I’m just pursuing a related lead right now."</p><p>Tim put his hands on his hips. "My potion? What do you mean, my potion? It was your idea. I have no interest in it."</p><p>"Oh come now," said Sparrow. "Of course you do. Who would want to be a werewolf?"</p><p>"Fenrir Greyback and his ilk. Nasty fellows. But that’s beside the point! I take advantage of my malady, Miss Jones. It gives me an excuse to stay shut up in here, where things are relatively quiet and peaceful, and I am master of this domain. If I went out into the castle, why, I could get lost."</p><p>"I am resolved to help you," said Sparrow, "whether you like it or not."</p><p>"You are impossible," said Tim, and he departed.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>In the mid-evening after supper, Sparrow stood at the portrait of the Fat Lady.</p><p>"A Hufflepuff," said the Fat lady. "Are you waiting for a friend?"</p><p>"I was hoping you could tell me if someone was in," said Sparrow. "Miranda McClivert."</p><p>"Quite a strange request, child. I have no knowledge of what occurs on the other side of me, alas. The most I can do is relay a message to this person, when they happen to meet me again. What would you have them know?"</p><p>"To meet me on the walkway between the astronomy tower and the dragon tower at noon on Sunday."</p><p>"If…that is what you wish."</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>That night Sparrow stole out of the Hufflepuff common room and cast an invisibility charm upon herself. Then she made her way to the upper corridor leading towards the dragon tower.</p><p>Filch spotted her within three seconds.</p><p>"Oh come on," said Sparrow. "I thought I had gotten the invisibility charm perfect."</p><p>"Don’t know what you’re talking about," said Filch. "In my eyes you’re always lit up like a Christmas tree, and no different this time. But if you were actually trying to use an invisibility charm, and it actually works on living people, you still left footprints in the dirt. Terrible form, girl. Fifty points from Hufflepuff."</p><p>"Is it possible for points to go negative?"</p><p>"No…I don’t think so."</p><p>"Then I only have so much to lose."</p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>In the days leading up to the Sunday that Sparrow hoped to meet Miranda, Jill was fairly handsy with Sparrow, but had not given her a single kiss since their first one in the library.</p><p>"I should have thought you would want to get right to the snogging," said Sparrow, as the two sat on a love seat in the Hufflepuff common room, hands intertwined. "Are you holding back?"</p><p>"Always," said Jill.</p><p>"What are you holding back? Are you really that dangerous, to me of all people?"</p><p>"Heh," said Jill. "Surely I of all people am in the best position to get past your defenses?"</p><p>"You are right now." Sparrow wiggled her eyebrows.</p><p>"Blech," said Cormac.</p><p>"You don’t have to watch," said Jill.</p><p>Cormac held up his parchment. "I have to my homework here." The wet ink began to run down the page. "Oh, for goodness sake! Why we don’t use paper and ballpoint pens is beyond me."</p><p>"Barnyard geese are easier to come by than petroleum-based plastics these days," said Sparrow.</p><p>"Is that really what plastic is made of?" said Jill. "I thought it was…some sort of…muggle chemical something or other."</p><p>"It is," said Cormac. "Well, was. Nearly all of the more esoteric chemicals people used to use were derived from petroleum. Not that I could explain the details! I barely understand chemistry myself. But laying that aside – Jill, what do you think you’re holding back?"</p><p>"You imply that I am overreacting," said Jill.</p><p>"Well, I mean, we are young, it’s easy to get a little overworked about certain personal thought processes – "</p><p>"I am absolutely not overreacting," said Jill.</p><p>Cormac fell silent.</p><p>"And I am sorry," continued Jill. "The matter is still something I don’t know how to explain yet. It’s not complicated like chemicals, but – "</p><p>"Complicated like a human heart," said Cormac. "And sometimes that whole situation can also explode, if mishandled."</p><p>"Excuse me," said Sparrow, "did you just equate my girlfriend with petrochemicals?"</p><p>"An apt description," said Jill. "You’ve never seen me at full burn. Tell you what, Sparrow. Can you wait another week for me to tell you?"</p><p>"All this waiting for everyone! Fine. I waited weeks for you, I can wait again."</p><p>"Speaking of that," said Jill, "How did you guess I had a crush on you anyway?"</p><p>"I thought it was obvious," said Cormac.</p><p>"Not so much to me," said Sparrow. "I thought such a possibility was beyond my wildest dreams. So I did not dare to pursue the matter."</p><p>"You pursue an end to the statute of secrecy," said Cormac, "and not the obvious, demonstrable love of your best friend?"</p><p>"And constantly reciprocated at that," said Jill.</p><p>"I mean," said Cormac, "I’m a little confused that it took you both this long when Sparrow said out loud that you were one of her potential lovers."</p><p>"She what?" Jill grinned at Sparrow. "You didn’t."</p><p>"I was making a joke!" said Sparrow. "Sort of. The subject was on my mind. I think Jocasta helped bring it up a few times."</p><p>"Ah ha," said Jill. "I should thank her. Well, my dear, do you want me to be <em>that</em> sort of girlfriend? Do you want me to be a <em>lover</em>? Do you want a<em> courtship</em>?" She wiggled her eyebrows. "Are you pining for a <em>whirlwind</em> <em>romance</em>?"</p><p>"Oh god no," said Sparrow. "Romance. Blech. Stupid expectations and heart-shaped letters. And flowers. No, thank you! As long as I know you’re always available for teatime and kisses, I do <em>not</em> need you to be dashing."</p><p>"Thank goodness," said Cormac. "I think if I had to see that from you two I would barf."</p><p>"Very well!" said Jill. "It is a flight of fancy anyway. I have Sparrow, and Sparrow has me, and it is good. It was always good, but – better now, I suppose."</p><p>Sparrow clung to Jill’s arm. "Were you going to tell me you wanted to date me?"</p><p>"I was, yes."</p><p>"When?"</p><p>"I was working up to it in the first few weeks, and then…then…let’s say things got complicated all of a sudden, and then there was the entire fiasco with Jocasta at the dining table."</p><p>"Oh my goodness," said Sparrow. "I had the worst possible timing, didn’t I?"</p><p>"You did," said Jill. "But it is alright now." She kissed Sparrow’s head.</p><p>"I’m sorry I took so long to say anything," said Sparrow. "I could have said what I felt just as soon as you came back to me. But I didn’t. I wanted to wait for you to say something. And then I put you in a situation that wound up forcing the answer out of both of us."</p><p>Jill frowned in confusion. "I thought I put you in that situation."</p><p>"Surely it was my fault, for suggesting we enter the Forbidden Section."</p><p>"Maybe. But, if either of us had been the one to instigate it, do you think the other would have even considered staying behind?"</p><p>"Definitely not."</p><p>"Well then." Jill rose, and gave Sparrow a peck on the cheek. "Perhaps we shall follow each other to the ends of the earth. Not even perhaps. I would follow you anyway. You get into so much trouble, you know." She gave Sparrow another peck. "You could get yourself into a real mess, someday, and then I must be there for you once more."</p><p>"I certainly would not mind."</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. The Offer</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jocasta is either very stupid, very brave, or both. Remind me why she didn't go into Gryffindor?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Noon on Sunday. Jill and Sparrow stepped out into the mist, on the walkway between the Astronomy and Dragon towers. Miranda McClivert was not there.</p><p>However, Jocasta was on the walkway, sitting up on the wall with her back to the grim drear, and looking out across the walkway at the grim drear on the other side. She had an unfocused look until she noticed the other two girls had arrived.</p><p>Upon spotting her, Jill made a hasty apology, and departed. Jocasta raised an eyebrow. Sparrow shrugged, and said, "She’ll be back for me eventually, I suppose, as always. Now, I fully expected to meet Miranda here. Instead I meet one of my potential lovers. How fare you, my <em>love</em>?"</p><p>"Shut up," said Jocasta.</p><p>"I’ve felt a trifle neglected in these last few weeks," said Sparrow. "Not a single prank from you. You’re completely off your game. What has happened?"</p><p>"Maybe I got bored."</p><p>"Surely Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes has an endless supply of tricks? Unless you’ve purchased the entire store by now? Oh, but wait! You only have a limited supply here at school. You must have used them all up! My dear, you shall have to start devising your own pranks, instead of buying them from a shop."</p><p>Jocasta gritted her teeth. "That’s not it at all."</p><p>"Well what then? Presumably you are aware of why Miss McClivert decided not to show up?"</p><p>"I know quite a bit of gossip at this school," said Jocasta. "And I can tell you that she takes all blame for what happened. But she doesn’t really wish to discuss the matter with someone who has a reputation for bowling right through the wishes of other people."</p><p>"Uh -- "</p><p>"In any case I’m not here to speak for her. I’m here to speak for me." Jocasta thumped her palm on her collarbone. "Because I thought, Oh, why on earth would the high and mighty Sparrow Jones want to talk to Miranda McClivert? It can’t possibly be to <em>apologize</em>. Sparrow never does <em>that</em>. And it can’t be to gaze in rapture at Miranda’s mighty shoulders. Sparrow is too <em>high-minded</em> for <em>that</em>."</p><p>Sparrow put her hands behind her back and adopted a mocking sheepish pose. "Maybe I’m not all that high minded after all."</p><p>"Well." Jocasta lowered herself down from the rampart. "It must be because Miranda has knowledge that you want." She sashayed over to Sparrow. "And the only specialized knowledge that <em>Miranda</em> has that <em>you</em> know about is the business with the shape-changing potion. Yes?"</p><p>"Um – "</p><p>"Yes. Now, why on earth would Sparrow Jones want to know about shape-changing? Perhaps she wants to become like her namesake? I mean <em>more</em> like her namesake? Or perhaps she wishes to learn how to skulk after all? Or perhaps is simply bored, and wishes to impose a challenge. Or – " Jocasta grinned. "Some incredibly roundabout way of achieving your wild fancies about the Statute of Secrecy. Who knows? But it is <em>such</em> a tricky business with those potions, they taste <em>terrible.</em> And you have to keep making them. So, I have an offer." Jocasta came close.</p><p>"Which is?"</p><p>Jocasta stepped even closer, and clasped her hands in front of her. "Let me teach you how to become an Animagus."</p><p>There was a long pause as Sparrow took in this concept. Only the wind spoke, as it set the highest flagpole clanking. Only the wind spoke aloud – Sparrow fancied that Jocasta’s eyes spoke volumes in silence, as Sparrow held her gaze.</p><p>"Does this mean we’re not adversaries any more?"</p><p>Jocasta snorted and rolled her eyes. "I didn’t say <em>that.</em>"</p><p>"Well," said Sparrow, "You really should have asked me this at dinner. You could have had me spit out my drink in surprise. Missed a good opportunity there, my dear Miss Carrow."</p><p>"Is the concept all that surprising? I know you want power." Jocasta wiggled her eyebrows. "That’s why you seek knowledge. You’re always looking through the spellbooks for new things, even though you can’t cast half of them to save your life. I can offer you power that is…more reliable."</p><p>"Oh really," said Sparrow, as she crossed her arms. "And WHY do you think I seek power, hmmmmmm?"</p><p>"To…be more powerful than other people?" Jocasta frowned. "I thought that was the whole point."</p><p>"No no," said Sparrow. "Keep going, there’s more to it. What do armies always say about themselves?"</p><p>"I don’t – "</p><p>"That they’re defending their country. Well, maybe I’m like that. I want to be able to defend my friends and my people. A shield isn’t cutting it."</p><p>"They tend to…not cut things," said Jocasta.</p><p>"And this Animagus business." Sparrow waved a hand as if brushing away a fly. "Notwithstanding that it could get me in more trouble than I’ve ever been in, <em>ever</em>, it feels like a more selfish power. A snooping power. If I thought snooping would be useful I might consider it, but it doesn’t seem to be what I need."</p><p>"Oh really," said Jocasta. "Who’s the one trying to get past Argus Filch?"</p><p>"How did you – goddamit, you really are a fly on the wall. You’re literally a fly on the wall. How do you avoid getting smashed? How do you avoid spiders?"</p><p>Jocasta shrugged. "Luck, I suppose."</p><p>"Can’t you pick a different form? Something safer?"</p><p>"Nope." Jocasta shook her head. "Animagus form is fixed by personality. I don’t make the rules."</p><p>"Someday I’m going to figure out how to break those rules," said Sparrow.</p><p>"Spoken like a true Slytherin."</p><p>"So why are you asking me about all this?" said Sparrow. "Why not only reveal to me that you’re a – hang on. Are you even registered?"</p><p>"That’s a long story."</p><p>"Ok." Sparrow crossed her arms. "Assuming you’re not registered, why not only reveal to me your secret, but ask me to join you? What’s your angle?"</p><p>"Think of it this way," said Jocasta. "I know that you’re asking about the Statute of Secrecy. Dangerous business, to go poking at that rule. You’re not very discreet about it. You could get in trouble if word gets beyond these walls. And I happen to have a very dangerous secret of my own. So, I’m giving it to you as a gesture of goodwill. As a kind of…hostage for good behavior."</p><p>Sparrow raised an eyebrow.</p><p>"Because I want you to trust me," said Jocasta. "And considering what I’ve been to you for three years…and what I did with the ink bottle…I feel like earning your trust would require a high price. So, you now have a secret of mine. A big secret. A very big secret."</p><p>Sparrow shook her head as if to clear it of clutter. "You’re offering me blackmail against you?"</p><p>"That would imply an unequal relationship. This is mutual. If I try to destroy you, you could destroy me."</p><p>"Mutually assured destruction," said Sparrow. "There’s ways that can go wrong, if one party turns out to be suicidal. Such as, for example, trying to secretly become an animagus at <em>fourteen years old</em>? What on earth were you thinking? You could have been disfigured for life."</p><p>Jocasta looked surprised. "You care about me."</p><p>"I care about everyone’s safety. If I ever manage to get past Filch again and meet Blaise, maybe you’ll hear why. But answer the damn question. Why the HELL do you want ME to become an UNREGISTERED ANIMAGUS?"</p><p>"Son of a troll, Sparrow, keep your voice down. Look." She took Sparrow’s hands in hers. "I didn’t ask for this Animagus business. My father told me I had to uphold the family legacy, or else he’d disinherit me. He shepherded me through the process but he still didn’t ask if I wanted it. And now I’ve got this great secret that I can’t tell anyone, that I can’t ask anyone questions about, that I can’t commiserate with people about, because letting that secret out to the world would be my end. They’d toss me into Azkaban and I would go mad."</p><p>"There’s a guy named Black who supposedly survived the Dementors because he could turn into a dog. If you can turn into a fly the place couldn’t possibly hold you, could it? You could just zip right out of there."</p><p>"Look, I just I need to be able to talk to someone about this whole animagus business. That’s all I’m really asking for here. Who better than you?"</p><p>"Literally anyone? I’m the most judgmental person in the school."</p><p>"And how much are you involved in spreading gossip?"</p><p>"I prefer not to get involved with such a sordid and slanderous business. I hear but do not repeat."</p><p>"Then there you have it, eh? As long as my secret is safe with you, I don’t care how judgy you are. I don’t care how judgy anyone around here is. You know what people say about me, don’t you? That I’m – "</p><p>"A tricky little bitch who needs to get smacked more often. Yes, I have heard."</p><p>"And I really don’t care what they say." Jocasta spun away from Sparrow and skipped over to the ramparts. "I care nothing for such pedestrian fools, who would grow up to be lazy and cynical plonkers, doing little more than what they were told, trying to hold me down when I wished to do great things." She leapt up onto the ramparts and balanced there on tiptoes. "Ha! They are nothing to me."</p><p>Sparrow moved to stand where she might catch Jocasta before the girl fell. "Are you something to them? To anyone?"</p><p>"Perhaps to Jill, my dueling partner of many years. Perhaps to you. Perhaps to Miranda, though such thoughts are fancies. My goodness, Miranda strikes quite a handsome figure, does she not? Gives me the vapors. I have never dared to put a prank in her way."</p><p>"And have you ever spoken to her?"</p><p>"Oh, no! I hardly know her! She is a Gryfindor, you realize. I daresay she would not dare speak to me."</p><p>Sparrow frowned. "I thought Miranda danced with everyone at the Halloween Ball."</p><p>"She did! But she didn’t say anything when we danced, and I didn’t say anything either."</p><p>Sparrow grinned. "Swept off your feet, eh?"</p><p>"Literally and figuratively." Jocasta leapt down from the ramparts. "A little frustrating, really. I wish I could have said something."</p><p>"I really think you ought to talk to that girl."</p><p>"Oh!" Jocasta put her hand up to her forehead and did a mocking faint. "But she is so <em>dashing!</em>"</p><p>"About business, I mean. Shape-changing stuff. She clearly has enough interest in that subject to risk experimenting with it in class. Too much interest, really. If you ask her about it then <em>she</em> might swoon over <em>you.</em> Or at least be willing to talk to you. I know she’d be a sympathetic ear to your secret, far more than me."</p><p>Jocasta crossed her arms. "I can’t risk telling her about that."</p><p>"Well, you’re asking me to risk a lot here. Not for much gain on my part. Nor yours, really. We can talk about stuff without, you know, making me go through an incredibly dangerous and difficult and illegal process."</p><p>"I just…I wanted to offer you the possibility, if you would have it. I thought of it as a gift."</p><p>"Oh, <em>do</em> you fancy me?"</p><p>"Shut up."</p><p>"That’s not a no."</p><p>"Shut up!"</p><p>"Fine." Sparrow turned towards the grim rain-soaked land. "If you even wanted to date me, I’d have to ask Jill about letting you in on our thing."</p><p>"You’re dating – well, maybe that’s not a surprise, but I am a trifle disappointed."</p><p>"Ah ha!" Sparrow spun around. "I knew it!"</p><p>"Not like that!" said Jocasta. "It’s because…because Jill might be distracted in dueling, now, especially if you show up. She’s a good dueling partner. Taught me a lot. And now she’s gonna be all lovey-dovey and stuff so she’d be distracted whenever you walk in. I mean more than usual. Right?"</p><p>"Give her more credit," said Sparrow. "She’s not going overboard with the romance even though she’s dating me."</p><p>"Oh, well. That’s because she’s dating you."</p><p>"How do you mean?"</p><p>"Miss high-and-mighty doesn’t hold with anything so <em>sordid</em> as taking someone to bed, now does she? I’m sure Jill is holding back because she knows you have strict limits."</p><p>"Oh come on. I’m not that much of a prude. I’m just…ambitious. Like you. You know?" Sparrow shrugged. "Easily distracted by my ideals."</p><p>Jocasta winked. "That’s what I like about you, your ambition."</p><p>"But, getting back to the issue of being an Animagus. My relationship with Jill could make things more complicated. Because, if I’m dating her, she’s gonna find out about this business eventually. And she will want in. Because she’s Jillian Patil, and she’s – "</p><p>"Never backed down from a challenge," said Jocasta. "That’s what I like about her. Alright. Does this mean you’re interested or not?"</p><p>"I’ll think about it. Doesn’t the process involve the full moon? We’re not going to get another clear full moon until March at least. In the meantime, feel free to talk to me about stuff."</p><p>"I would consider it a pleasure," said Jocasta.</p><p>Sparrow started to leave the walkway, but as she was nearing the door she turned back and said, "You know, I’m pretty sure that you fancy me."</p><p>"How do you figure?"</p><p>"A Slytherin not only talks to a muggleborn, she dances with her, and then entrusts her with this much? Old Salazar is rolling in his grave."</p><p>"Never mind," said Jocasta. There was a small thump of air as she became a fly, and she zipped away.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Wand Lore</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Isn't it so annoying when you try to force two people to fight and they just shake hands?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I heard a rumor that you fancied Jocasta Carrow," said Violet.</p><p>It was mid-November, still at the beginning of the rainy season. There were a few sunny days left. Sparrow was sitting near Violet in the library. They were both working on History of Magic essays. Sparrow had elected to work with an ink bottle and quill this time, partly because she didn’t care much for this essay’s topic, partly because she wanted to get over her aversion to ink bottles. Violet went with her usual cheap ballpoint.</p><p>"Okay," said Sparrow, "I’ve heard of rumors growing wild in the retelling, but I’ve never heard of them getting flipped backwards. It’s Jocasta that fancies me."</p><p>"Good for you then."</p><p>"Are you jealous?"</p><p>"Well," said Violet, "your rumor self is cheating on my rumor self, and on Jillian Patil, according to what I hear. Quite the scandal. I bet Jill is devastated. You should be ashamed."</p><p>"Let’s say there’s a rumor that I’m ashamed."</p><p>"Fair enough." Violet glanced left and right. "I also heard that you wanted to…cure lycanthropy?"</p><p>"Doesn’t everyone?"</p><p>"I mean," said Violet, "you wanted to actually look for a cure instead of bemoaning an intractable problem."</p><p>"Correct. But I’ve kind of got that idea shelved right now. If I can’t make a potion without seeing it explode then I probably shouldn’t be making experimental stuff for anyone."</p><p>"That depends on how much you like your clients."</p><p>"Please!" said Sparrow, placing her palm on her collarbone in a pose of genteel offense, and bringing a dripping quill with it. "I am not a con artist. I am all above board."</p><p>"Scourgify." Violet flicked her wand at Sparrow’s shirt to clean off the ink. "Including being above-board about ending the Statute of Secrecy?"</p><p>"I am discreetly above-board. Now, as I said, the Lycanthropy concept is currently shelved because I’m not a complete idiot. And I wanted to ask the McClivert girl about her recipe for a shape-changing potion first anyway. But ah, well. I can’t find good information about either topic in this library."</p><p>"Not in the regular section, at least."</p><p>Sparrow buried her face in her essay. "I don’t know <em>what</em> you’re talking about."</p><p>"Fine," said Violet. "There’s probably good material in this library anyway, and you’ve passed by it a dozen times because you don’t know how to do your research properly. Have you asked the librarian for help?"</p><p>Sparrow glanced left and right. "I have the feeling that he’s not going to help me look for this particular info. Let’s just say he’s sensitive about that topic."</p><p>Violet raised her eyebrow. "If you’re trying to not imply that he’s a Werewolf – "</p><p>"Dammit."</p><p>"You can’t get anything past a Ravenclaw, you know." Violet grinned.</p><p>"Yeah, yeah, hype up your house. Anyway, how do I research properly?"</p><p>Violet stood and motioned Sparrow to follow. She barely gave the girl time to roll up her essay as she moved to the end of the row.</p><p>Violet led Sparrow to a section that she had never seen before. A lot of large tomes with the same binding. It looked perfectly boring.</p><p>"This is the reference section," said Violet. "This is where you look for bibliographic references and cross-references."</p><p>"Bibliowhat?"</p><p>"Did nobody teach you how to do your own research?"</p><p>"That’s never really come up in any of my classes. We’re still working out of the textbooks."</p><p>"So all this time," said Violet, "you’re in the library and you’re not taking full advantage of it? I thought you were studious. You were just looking for the cool stuff, weren’t you?"</p><p>"I mean, I check out stuff besides spellbooks. Mostly history. But I will admit that I look through a lot of spellbooks for the Cool Stuff."</p><p>"Of course. Because you want power."</p><p>Sparrow stood as tall and proud as she could. "I want to protect my friends and my fellows."</p><p>"So I am told," said Violet. "Protect them from what, though? We haven’t had a real dark wizard since the Voldemort War. Potter’s Army killed half of them and the rest haven’t been seen since."</p><p>"That’s…not exactly something I want to talk about. It’s a long story. If you can help me sneak past Filch and reach Blaise on a moonlit night, you may hear it."</p><p>Violet crossed her arms. "If you’re not going to tell anyone what you’re protecting them from, they can’t help you or themselves."</p><p>"Boy do I know that feeling!" said Sparrow. She shook her head. "Bad memories. Leave it be for now. I haven’t seen anything nasty hanging around the castle so it’s not like it’s an immediate problem." She dragged a giant tome off the shelf. "Cross reference, hm, alright. Shall we get to it?"</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>It turned out to be the first time in a while that Sparrow’s time in the library could be called truly productive. She managed to follow references all the way to a tome of experimental potion-crafting. By Hermione Granger, of all people. Did she know anything about potions? That wasn’t part of the legend of the Second Wizarding War. But, as the introduction explained, the tome itself was produced by copying all the liner notes of the potions textbook of someone named "Severus Snape."</p><p>Apparently this particular tome was far more effective than the regular potions textbook could ever be. Sparrow wondered why it hadn’t been famous enough for her to know about already. Maybe the regular textbook writers didn’t appreciate a young student who outdid them, nor yet a famous witch who tended to outdo everyone.</p><p>Unfortunately the book still didn’t have anything related to lycanthropy. Mostly what it had was improvements on the basics. But, it was a demonstration that experimenting with potions was possible and productive. Sparrow wondered how many times this Severus Snape had blown up his cauldron.</p><p>This was Volume One. There was supposed to be a Volume Two with all the bibliographic references. But it was not on the shelf. In fact there was an obvious hole where it must have been, perhaps no more than a day ago. Someone had taken that volume, and that volume alone.</p><p>Someone else was trying to make advanced potions. Perhaps. But why take the second volume with all the references, and not the first volume with the actual information? Why not take them both together? The question was, did this person want to gain knowledge for themselves, or keep it from someone else?</p><p>Sparrow had the feeling that Tim the Librarian wasn’t going to give her any answers, if he had the slightest hint that she was looking for information about lycanthropy or potions.</p><p>She resolved to wait, and see if the book returned to the shelf. Three weeks. That was a good time to wait for the book to come back.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>In the ensuing weeks while she waited, she attempted every trick she could think of to get past Filch. She attempted to improve her invisibility charm, which didn’t get past his searching eyes. She attempted to use a shrinking potion and creep through the shadows, but Filch spotted her in a patch of moonlight. She tried making a potion that would turn her into a puff of air, but all it did was send her to the hospital wing for three days. She tried riding a broom out the Hufflepuff window and up to the tower, but nobody would lend her one, and the one she requisitioned from the school supply closet threw her off. She tried conjuring up an illusion to distract Filch. He floated right through it. She tried hiding in the astronomy tower until after dark. Filch checked it thoroughly.</p><p>The idea of becoming an animagus just for the sake of getting past Filch began to look more appealing. A petty impetus for a noble goal, perhaps, but it was an impetus. Besides which, if she got caught trying to pass him again he was going to restart the fifty-point deductions.</p><p>It was a dreary Monday morning in November, getting closer to December. Sparrow stood at the front of the Defense Against the Dark Arts class and, as ever, completely failed to produce an effective Stunning Charm. Professor Budge exclaimed that he had never seen anything like it. It was only when Sparrow had the opportunity to look in Jill’s direction and see her giving the thumbs-up sign that she even managed to get anything out of her wand at all.</p><p>After class, Professor Budge asked Sparrow to stay.</p><p>"Are you going to tell me that I shouldn’t take your class?" said Sparrow.</p><p>"My dear Miss Jones." Professor Budge chuckled. "Think about your performance over three years. If it came to a fight you would be a wall the very world could not break. Yet you’ve never once managed to cast a proper offensive spell. Do you even want to?"</p><p>"No. No, I don’t want to hurt anyone, at all."</p><p>"Yet we are speaking of a defense against the Dark Arts, child. These are, or were, or will be, very nasty people. What if they decide not to attack your wall at all? What if they go after someone else?"</p><p>"I’ll just have to make my wall bigger."</p><p>"You can’t put a wall around the entire world," said Budge. "Nor would anyone wish you to. It would be quite annoying for people to discover that they couldn’t go down to the candy shop because there was a glowing yellow wall at the end of the lane. No, my dear, sometimes you do have to take action. Sometimes, yes, you do have to hurt someone, in order to save someone else."</p><p>"But hurting people is wrong," said Sparrow. "If we do it, how are we any different?"</p><p>"You are fourteen years old, child, and to you the world looks very simple and straightforward. But as you grow older, you will learn that some moral situations are complex, and you cannot always hold to your highest principles. Sometimes your goals are more important than your ideals about methods. You, of all the people I have known, are most desperate to defend the innocent. Set that as a goal, above even a pledge to do no harm. Do you understand?"</p><p>"I think so."</p><p>"Now, let me see your wand."</p><p>Sparrow produced her wand. It was a long one, nearly twelve inches, made of hornbeam. She turned it around and held the wand by the end instead of the handle, and held it out to her Professor.</p><p>But she did not let it go.</p><p>"I meant," said Professor Budge, "may I please hold your wand."</p><p>Sparrow shook her head. "This is the most I can offer," she said. "Sorry. Long story."</p><p>"Very well," said Budge, "I can examine it well enough from this vantage anyway. Now let me see. Hornbeam, yes? A highly passionate wandwood. Hornbeam wands will hew closely to the principles and style of their owners, almost from the moment of meeting. Tell me, what is this wand’s core?"</p><p>"Unicorn hair."</p><p>"Ah yes. The core least suited for dark magic. Combine that with the Hornbeam, and I daresay this wand would hit you in the nose if you tried to cast a nasty curse. If you tried to cast Cruciartus it would probably explode. What did Ollivander tell you, when this wand selected you?</p><p>Sparrow thought back to the shop in Diagon Alley. Ollivander had tested a fair few wands with her. Applewood, a rare kind, for being suited to high ideals. Walnut, for those with the talent for magical innovation. Yet it was the hornbeam, the wood of those with great passion and singular vision, that had been the most lively in Sparrow’s hand.</p><p>"He warned me," said Sparrow. "He said that if I had strong principles, the wand would take them to heart, and it would be harder to convince the wand to ignore them than it would be to convince me. He said I ought to be careful about which principles to follow doggedly."</p><p>"And you have chosen the principle of defense, above all others."</p><p>Well. That one had come up shortly after the wand had chosen her. Before the wand itself had chosen her, what Sparrow had been thinking was that everyone ought to see a dragon.</p><p>She decided to keep that to herself for now.</p><p>"I chose defense, yes. I can’t even imagine smacking someone in the face with my bare hands, much less using a wand."</p><p>"There is such a thing as offensive defense," said Budge. "Remember that. I want you to practice the basic stunning spell on your own. I expect you to perform it within two weeks."</p><p>"But – "</p><p>"Please, Sparrow. Stupefy is the easiest offensive spell to cast, and one of the least dangerous. I need to know that you can at least cast that, before I can begin to believe you’re ready for the world beyond these walls."</p><p>Sparrow left the classroom feeling like she’d been chastised, even though she knew Budge hadn’t meant to.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Among the extensive grounds at Hogwarts there were many open walkways and covered walkways. Normally they stayed put, although, on occasion, the walkway would shift its endpoint in full view of the students, as if to mock them for thinking they had a chance of getting to class on time. Even the walkway to the Dragon Tower would, on occasion, detach and move all the way around to the Ravenclaw tower.</p><p>This particular one, crossing a narrow chasm to connect a disused tower to a little-used courtyard, occasionally shifted itself to become a staircase going down the side of the chasm. Violet had taken careful note of its timing, and deduced that it became a staircase every eight days, for the space of twelve hours. The trick was that those twelve hours could begin any time on the day of shifting. If you were at the bottom of the chasm, and the staircase left you, you’d better hope you had a broom, or it was going to be a long walk to get back into the castle.</p><p>Currently it was in staircase mode. It was also the rainy season. Which meant that the chasm was full of flowing water. Not exactly a safe place to step into unless you were a mermaid. Perhaps even if you were a mermaid.</p><p>Sparrow, Cormac, and Jill had hoped to reach the tower for a little more privacy. They had forgotten what day it was.</p><p>"Well how was I supposed to know?" said Cormac over the pounding rain. "Violet didn’t tell me what day it shifted last week."</p><p>"Never mind," said Sparrow. "Let’s just get practicing."</p><p>Jill had suggested the disused courtyard for the sake of Sparrow. She herself would not have raised much fuss if she’d been practicing her shield charm in the Hufflepuff common room, but for Sparrow, firing off a stunner might have caused a few problems. They tended to ricochet, as Jill had learned the first time she cast one. It had not been in a safe place such as a charms class, but in the very great hall where Sparrow had first demonstrated her shield spell to a surprised crowd. Jill had seen the Fanged Frisbee, attempted to stun it out of the air, missed, and bounced her spell off the wall back at the crowd. Thus Jill’s introduction to the school was someone as bold as Sparrow, but dangerous.</p><p>This evening, then, the goal was for Jill to perfect her shield spell, and Sparrow to perfect her stunning charm.</p><p>"Tell you what," said Jill. "I’ll try to cast a shield while you try to cast a stunner at me. We’ll see who manages it first, alright?"</p><p>Sparrow drew her wand.</p><p>"Hang on a minute," said Cormac. "Shouldn’t you perfect the spell before you cast it at each other?"</p><p>"It’s perfectly fine," said Sparrow. "It’s not like I can do it anyway."</p><p>"I have faith in you," said Jill. She kissed Sparrow on the cheek.</p><p>"Dammit," said Sparrow. "Now it will work after all. Alright, we’ll see how this goes."</p><p>It did not go. Sparrow tried, and tried, yet nothing more than a little mote of red light came from her wand. Likewise Jill, no matter how hard she waved her wand, no matter how loudly she shouted "protego", could not produce a wall of yellow light.</p><p>"Maybe I’m just not in the mood for it," said Sparrow. "Professor Budge said there was an emotional component for spellcasting. Then again, I’m never in the mood for it. I’m not sure how I can be. He told me there were times when I would need to hurt people in order to save others, but…what if I can’t cast an offensive spell until that moment comes? I’d have no practice at all."</p><p>"I don’t understand why you always want to play defense," said Jill. She flicked her wand again. Still nothing. "It means you’re always ceding the initiative. Unless your defense is perfect – "</p><p>"It is," said Sparrow.</p><p>"No it isn’t." She flicked her wand again. Still nothing. "Three times in your life, you faltered. Three times your shield was broken. If an enemy can make you falter, then they can get past your supposedly mighty defense, like water through a tiny crack in a dam. You have to learn how to attack."</p><p>"I don’t want to," said Sparrow. "There’s got to be another way."</p><p>"There is none," said Jill. "There is attack and there is defense, and you’re missing half."</p><p>"So are you," said Cormac. "I’ve never seen you cast an effective spell of defense, no matter what it is. Shields and counterspells alike, you never bother. That only works if your assault is relentless. And you have to take the initiative, instead of waiting for your opponent to make the first move."</p><p>"Exactly," said Jill. "If I can get in the first blow hard enough there doesn’t have to be a second."</p><p>"And what if you can’t? What if your attack does nothing? Do you then retreat? How do you retreat without a good defense?"</p><p>"Turn into a spider and hide," said Jill. "Or something."</p><p>"You don’t want to cast defensive spells," said Cormac. "Can I see your wand?"</p><p>Jill hesitated for a few seconds, glancing at Cormac as if he were asking her to spill a mighty secret. Then she relented, setting her mouth into a grim line and handing the wand over.</p><p>Cormac studied the wand intently. "Hornbeam. Hm. The kind of wood that follows its owner’s principles to the letter. And the core?"</p><p>"Unicorn tail hair."</p><p>"Least susceptible to the dark arts," said Cormac. "So you’re strongly committed to an offense, yet there are some spells where you won’t go. Length, I’d say fourteen inches – "</p><p>"Hang on a minute," said Sparrow. "I’ve got a hornbeam with unicorn hair. Did you grab my wand by mistake, Jill? Wait, no. It’s in my pocket here."</p><p>"Most unusual," said Cormac. "Ollivander tries to vary his wood and wand cores in order to present the greatest range of possibilities to first-time wizards. Why on earth would he make two wands of precisely the same type?"</p><p>"Maybe he always does," said Sparrow. "Like if he needs to have a few of each type on hand, just in case there’s high demand."</p><p>Cormac was stroking his chin. "Possible," he said. "Although that’s a muggle way of doing things, right? Supply and demand, market forces. Wizards are few, and they have banks, but…not the same sort of market forces, nor quite the same concept of free trade. The Ollivander family is pureblood through-and-through, so I doubt that old Garrick would be thinking of supply and demand at all."</p><p>"Just in case then," said Jill. "On the rare chance that he’d meet two wizards on the same day with the same…affinity?"</p><p>"Personality," said Cormac. "But you two are hardly the same. One desperate to protect and defend, the other eager to strike down foes – "</p><p>"Same goal different methods," said Jill. "And we’re both stubborn when it comes to certain topics." She gave Sparrow a knowing look. "Pig-headed, even."</p><p>"Oink," said Sparrow.</p><p>"So I don’t find it a big surprise that we’d wind up with similar wands. Is it supposed to be a big surprise?"</p><p>"Yes," said Cormac. "Enough so that Tom Riddle had no reasonable expectation of what would happen when his wand met Harry Potter’s. Priori Incantatem is an extremely rare occurrence. You only get it when you have two wands with cores taken from the same animal, and think about that – trying to get more than one tail feather from a phoenix, or more than one tail hair from a unicorn…you can get lots of heart strings from dragons, mind you…"</p><p>"We’re not talking about sibling wand cores," said Sparrow. "These are just two wands of the same type. We’re not dealing with Priori Incantatem here."</p><p>"That remains to be seen," said Cormac. "There is, after all, only one way to find out."</p><p>"Ask Ollivander?" said Sparrow.</p><p>"Two ways to find out," said Cormac. "Sparrow, may I see your wand?"</p><p>Sparrow glanced around her. "As long as we’re safe."</p><p>"We’re at Hogwarts, for goodness sake. The wards are strong."</p><p>"But safe from a flying prank?"</p><p>Cormac looked confused. "You are Sparrow Jones," he said. "I have always known you as a bold girl. Was it a veneer? Have you always been this nervous?"</p><p>"Yes," said Sparrow and Jill at the same time.</p><p>"What," said Cormac, "were you born nervous?"</p><p>"No," said Sparrow. "But in my life I have been given great cause to keep my eyes and ears open. I have no wish to leave myself vulnerable, not even for a minute."</p><p>Cormac looked concerned.</p><p>"It’s fine," said Sparrow. "I’m fine, it’s just…never mind. Maybe I’ll explain later. The point is I’m perfectly fine with my wand to hand, but I’ve never let my wand be more than an arm’s length from my hand. And I’ve never given it to anyone."</p><p>"You rely on it," said Cormac. "Perhaps too much. I told you about non-magical solutions. Maybe you should be thinking about how to use them, just in case your wand is lost."</p><p>"It won’t be," said Sparrow.</p><p>"May I please see your wand?"</p><p>Sparrow shook her head.</p><p>"What if you stood real close to me while I held it? Then you could grab it out of my hands in case a big hairy monster attacked."</p><p>Sparrow stepped close to Cormac. Still she held tight to her wand.</p><p>"Come on," said Cormac. "I don’t bite." He held out his hand, wherein lay Jill’s wand.</p><p>Sparrow shivered as she held her wand over Cormac’s open palm. She let it stay there for a few seconds, then let it go. She did not stop shivering.</p><p>Jill moved to her side and placed a brawny arm around Sparrow’s shoulder, drawing her close.</p><p>Sparrow’s trembling ceased, and she let out a deep breath.</p><p>Cormac peered at the wands in his hand. "I think I made a mistake," he said, "by putting them in the same hand. I can hardly tell these apart in the dim light." He drew his own wand from a pocket of his robes. "Lumos." He held the light over the wands. "Damn. It’s still difficult. Precisely the same length, extremely similar grain pattern, clearly from the same piece of hornbeam. The only real difference is the pattern on the handles, but even that’s close enough to keep fooling my eyes. If I were to toss these wands from hand to hand – "</p><p>"Don’t even think about it," said Sparrow.</p><p>" – I would wind up forgetting which was which. These wands look like identical twins. A veritable Fred and George Weasly of wands. In fact, I think I have forgotten already. Do either of you remember which one was – "</p><p>Jill pointed to the wand on the right side of Cormac’s palm. "That one’s mine."</p><p>"Are you sure?"</p><p>"Definitely."</p><p>"How?"</p><p>"I know my own wand."</p><p>"Fair enough." Cormac passed the wand on the left side of his palm to his left hand, and held up one wand to each ear in turn, then both together.</p><p>The two girls stared at him with quizzical expressions.</p><p>"They sound about the same," said Cormac. "Almost as if their cores came from the same animal after all. I think these wands were born at the same time. I think they are identical twins. But, let us be more certain." He handed the wands back. "Why don’t you cast some spells at each other that will strike each other, so we can see if they get a real Priori Incantatem going. And it would have to be a spell both of you could cast…something that wouldn’t be offensive or defensive. A cheering charm. Try that."</p><p>"After as much as you have asked already," said Sparrow, "you would have me alter someone’s mind without their permission?"</p><p>"Perhaps a color-changing spell then."</p><p>"A warmth charm," said Jill. "Perfect for a night like tonight."</p><p>"I don’t know," said Sparrow. "If you turned up the heat on that one, it could become an offensive spell."</p><p>"For Harry’s Sake," said Cormac, "stop trying to talk yourself out of this and cast the damn spell!"</p><p>Sparrow and Jill separated and stood facing each other. They lined their wands up, readied their proper dueling stances, and said "<em>Ciribiribin</em>."</p><p>Out of the ends of both wands floated a line of visible water vapor.</p><p>The two lines met, and held there. At the place where they met they began to glow more brightly, and more again as the seconds passed.</p><p>For those seconds, no one spoke.</p><p>At last Cormac broke the silence. "This is it then," he said. "The Priori Incantatem. Two wands with a core from the same animal cast spells at each other, they meet in the middle, they struggle, they push against each other, until one wins the duel and – now hang on a minute."</p><p>The lines of water vapor were not pushing against each other, but wrapping around.</p><p>"They’re supposed to be fighting," said Cormac. "I don’t know what’s going on here."</p><p>"Perhaps," said Jill, "Each wand loves the other too much."</p><p>"Perhaps," said Sparrow, "each wand thinks it is one half of a whole, and refuses to fight against itself."</p><p>The water vapor had become a cloud, glowing bright white now, and growing ever larger, and larger, filling the space between the three students. Sparrow put out a finger and tried to touch the cloud. No spark jumped to her finger, nor did her finger dissolve. Perhaps it was safe.</p><p>In the next moment Sparrow could only hope that the cloud was harmless, because it suddenly expanded to engulf all three students. Within was bright white light, and she had to put her hand in front of her eyes to avoid being blinded. She could not look around to see where Jill was, but she felt a fumbling hand grip her shoulder, and then another one.</p><p>It almost felt like Jill’s hands. Large, strong. Yet not nearly as heavy. Couldn’t be Cormac’s hands either. His were always gentle. So whose –</p><p>The cloud vanished.</p><p>Sparrow looked around. There was nothing in this courtyard but three students, some stone benches, and the rain.</p><p>And yet…there was something else.</p><p>Heat.</p><p>Not oven heat, but soft heat. Tropical heat. Just like the Ciribiribin spell. Sparrow put a hand out to one of the stone benches. It was pleasantly warm.</p><p>"Fascinating!" said Cormac. "The two wands must have amplified the spell a thousandfold when working together. If we can find a place that we wouldn’t worry about destroying then we ought to see what else happens with that effect."</p><p>"I think I’m perfectly satisfied for the time being," said Jill, sounding and looking like she was about to cry, as Sparrow had a few minutes before.</p><p>"But – "</p><p>"I said. I am. Satisfied. Sparrow, maybe you ought to practice with Cormac instead of me for the time being. And…hold off from dating, for a while. Until we figure this thing out."</p><p>"We’re Off then?" said Sparrow.</p><p>"For now."</p><p>"Would you still hold me close?"</p><p>"If ever you feel afraid. Otherwise, I am…worried, once more, that I could make you feel afraid."</p><p>"So you abandon me again?"</p><p>Jill put a hand on Sparrow’s shoulder. "Never more than an arm’s length," said Jill. "That is what I promised. And I don’t promise lightly. I am here for you if you need me." She lifted her hand and took a step back. "But not in any more intimate capacity than that. Not for now. I am sorry."</p><p>"I’d like to think you could still experiment," said Cormac.</p><p>Jill shot him a glare.</p><p>"I’m just saying – "</p><p>"You seem to know wandlore," said Jill. "Go and ask Ollivander. This is his fault anyway. Come on, let’s get into the common room before we’re spotted being out of bed."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Stop Helping Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jocasta tries to help Sparrow become a little more violent.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I think I know how you can cast an offensive spell," said Jocasta.</p>
<p>They were in the History of Magic classroom, approximately ten minutes before the class was to begin.</p>
<p>"Not going to happen," said Sparrow. "My Wand would never let me."</p>
<p>"Oh come on, how could it possibly – "</p>
<p>"Hornbeam and Unicorn hair? If I’m opposed to dark magic then so is the wand, absolutely."</p>
<p>"Ah," said Jocasta. "Well, I think I know how you can stop being opposed."</p>
<p>"And why would I – "</p>
<p>"You have to learn how to hate your target."</p>
<p>Sparrow frowned. "I’m not sure that can hate anyone."</p>
<p>"Nobody at all?"</p>
<p>"There’s a fair few people around here who I’m annoyed with, sure, and plenty of people in the world who have made bad choices, and plenty of people I would have strenuous disagreements with, if I knew them personally. But, around here? No. I don’t have any personal enmities."</p>
<p>"Not even me?" Jocasta pouted.</p>
<p>"After what you laid in my hands?" said Sparrow. "Nah. Not anymore, not really."</p>
<p>Jocasta scoffed. "So little miss high-and-mighty is so nice-nice doesn’t want to hurt anyone and doesn’t hate anyone. I had you figured wrong! You’re just a sweet widdle angel covered in sugar."</p>
<p>"Are you trying to goad me?" said Sparrow.</p>
<p>Jocasta sat down heavily at a desk. "I’m just…I mean, I thought that if you were all judgy about everyone then it would be easy for you to follow my advice. Now I have to come up with something better."</p>
<p>"Like what?"</p>
<p>"I haven’t thought of it yet."</p>
<p>"Why do you even want to help me with that?"</p>
<p>"Never mind."</p>
<p>She said nothing more to Sparrow, as they waited the remaining time before the class began.</p>
<p>At the sound of the clock striking one, the remaining students shuffled reluctantly into the classroom, sat down at their desks, and prepared to take a post-lunch nap. Professor Binns floated out of the blackboard and started his usual drone. "In the mid seventeenth century, the Welsh Wizarding Council blah, blah, blah…"</p>
<p>Jocasta leaned over to Sparrow and whispered, "Your mother’s a whore."</p>
<p>"She was," whispered Sparrow. "Is, kind of. I never asked her much about it though. Who knows? Maybe I’m a half-blood."</p>
<p>"Are you serious? Fine. Your father’s a whore."</p>
<p>"I thought I had made it clear that I don’t consider that an insult."</p>
<p>Jocasta said nothing more for a while, but fumed silently, drumming her fingers on the table. Then she poked Sparrow.</p>
<p>"Knock it off," said the girl.</p>
<p>Poke.</p>
<p>"I said knock it off."</p>
<p>Poke.</p>
<p>"Quit it!" Sparrow flicked Jocasta’s hand away.</p>
<p>Jocasta kept trying, with Sparrow trying to fend her off. They went at this for about twenty seconds before a glowing yellow wall sprang up between them.</p>
<p>Sparrow looked around. The entire class was staring. Including, of all people, Professor Binns.</p>
<p>"Twenty points from Slytherin," said Binns, "and twenty from Hufflepuff."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I’ve never heard of Binns doing anything with house points," said Cormac, as he played a soft tune on his ukulele.</p>
<p>The Hufflepuff common room was busy this evening with people doing homework. Nevertheless, people did their best to stay away from Sparrow and her friends. Apparently losing Hufflepuff more than a hundred house points within the first 6 months of the school year could put a dent in your reputation.</p>
<p>Sparrow was sitting in a comfy chair by the fire, holding her wand in the palm of her hand. "Oh, I’m sure he’s done it once," she said. "Maybe centuries ago. But I wanted to ask you about wands."</p>
<p>"I am surprised," said Cormac. "After what I put you through in the Courtyard."</p>
<p>"I have my wand in hand," said Sparrow. "And so I have my confidence in hand."</p>
<p>"But not your girl."</p>
<p>"Now that’s a touchy subject."</p>
<p>"Or a lack-of-touchy subject."</p>
<p>Sparrow shot Cormac a glare.</p>
<p>"Sorry. I’m just saying, I blame myself for that one too."</p>
<p>"Don’t. Jill’s been running away from me this entire school year so far. Maybe the wand thing is just an excuse…but I can never think that badly of her, can I? She promised she wouldn’t run away again. And she’s got to have good reasons for keeping herself at arm’s length now. I just wish she would tell me what they were. I wish she would explain."</p>
<p>"Likewise you to me," said Cormac. "I’d appreciate knowing why you’re always nervous."</p>
<p>"I said I’d tell you later. On a night when we can get to the dragon tower again. That’s a promise. Anyway, wands. You said that my wand had absorbed my own principles. It’s not alive, though, is it?"</p>
<p>"They’re alive," said Cormac. "That’s the first chapter of the book on basic wandlore. The question is, how much can they think? Even Ollivander isn’t certain. Then again, I don’t know if he’s ever bothered to figure out. That’s something to ask him, I suppose. As it is, your wand is learning along with you. That’s why we’re in school, Sparrow. That’s why it takes so long to become a proper wizard. You’re shepherding your wand along the path to power as much as the teachers are shepherding you. You’ve got a partner in crime and you have to figure out how to work with them."</p>
<p>"So can I, like, talk to the wand?"</p>
<p>"Oh sure! But it might not talk back." Cormac winked. "If you want a conversation, well. I’m sure there’s something on that in the library. Maybe. The wand lore book makes much of wands having personalities, but maybe it’s the same way a dog has a personality. You can tell it what to do, but it can’t tell you what to do."</p>
<p>"That’s been bugging me." Sparrow held her wand up to the light. "We talk about mastering the wand, of owning the wand, but if it’s a living thing – "</p>
<p>"It’s like being the master of a dog. You’re not some kind of slave driver."</p>
<p>Sparrow glanced at Cormac, a lad as pale as anything. Then she glanced at her own hand, which had a tendency to blend into shadows. "I should certainly hope not. But it’s still uncomfortable. I do not want to be a master. I want to be a partner. I want to have a relationship with this thing that isn’t just ‘do this do that.’ What I mean is, I would like to be able to convince this wand to do some basic offensive spells. I’m a little more amenable to the idea now, but this thing is a real…stick in the mud. Har har har." She pocketed the wand.</p>
<p>"A relationship? The wand isn’t a person, Sparrow. It’s a tool. Like a hunting dog or a barnyard cat. It has a personality but there’s only so much you can do to connect with it."</p>
<p>"But what if that isn’t true? Come on. You’re the wand expert around here, you have to at least entertain the possibility."</p>
<p>"Are you going to turn into another Hermione Granger? Going to Liberate the Wands?"</p>
<p>Sparrow gave Cormac a searching look.</p>
<p>"What?"</p>
<p>"Are you saying the liberation of the House Elves was a bad thing?"</p>
<p>"I mean, it caused a bit of mess, didn’t it? Wizards had to start doing things themselves, things they didn’t exactly know how to do."</p>
<p>Sparrow glanced at her hand, then back to Cormac. "It only caused a bit of mess, did it? Yes, you’re right. That’s all it caused. A bit of mess. Wizarding society was able to pick up where the House Elves left off. Which means they never needed the elves in the first place. They were just a bunch of lazy twats who liked to boss elves around. Now, think about what it would have meant if the loss of the House Elves DID cause a real problem. It would mean that we’re not as powerful as all that, and that we did, in fact, require slaves to do the menial tasks, the heavy lifting, et cetera. Either way Wizards don’t come out looking good, do they?"</p>
<p>"They liked it!" said Cormac. He strummed a discordant note, grimaced, and set the ukulele aside. "Granger’s first effort flamed out because the House Elves genuinely enjoyed serving Wizards! She went around calling for freedom and the house elves <em>did not want it</em>. She thought she knew what they needed and when they told her she didn’t listen. Just like you sometimes. I’ve heard you want to break the Statute of Secrecy down. Did you ask anyone if they would benefit?"</p>
<p>"To be fair," said Sparrow, "I haven’t had a chance. You know it’s a forbidden subject for me. Nobody’s explained why, exactly. I’m just supposed to get the idea. I mean, if it were true that Wizards were only so powerful, maybe we’d be in genuine danger from the muggles, but. We can just wave a wand and have things happen. What can they do to us?"</p>
<p>"Obliterate an entire section of countryside in an instant with one bomb."</p>
<p>"They still have those things? I thought they used them all up when the world went kerflooey."</p>
<p>"Oh no. No, it only took a small proportion of existing missiles to do that."</p>
<p>Sparrow’s eyes grew wide. "Are you serious?"</p>
<p>"Entirely serious."</p>
<p>"But surely their launch capabilities are – "</p>
<p>"Rusted all to hell. But the nuclear material is still there waiting to be employed. The folks with the access codes would just have to…you know, sacrifice an entire company of soldiers getting the payload to the target, instead of carrying it in an airplane. I mean, what exactly do you think London and Oxford send their armies out for every April? They’re not just fighting over choice farmland. They’re competing for the nuclear stockpiles that they know about."</p>
<p>"So if either of them get enough – "</p>
<p>"Then they can start throwing around the possibility of irresponsible power again."</p>
<p>There was a long pause.</p>
<p>"Well," said Sparrow. "Shit."</p>
<p>"You’re a muggleborn, girl. You ought to know about this as well as I do."</p>
<p>"Hey, I’m the kind of kid who had their wildest dreams come true when they went to Hogwarts. I haven’t studied the muggle side of things much lately. You’re more interested than me. It’s like when you go to a friend’s house and they’ve got all kinds of new toys that you don’t, so you say ‘wow’ and they say ‘ho hum’. I’m a kid in a goddamn candy store here."</p>
<p>"As am I," said Cormac. He grinned.</p>
<p>"What – you’re also Muggleborn? But I thought the McKinnons were pureblood. Also all dead. Where <em>are</em> you from?"</p>
<p>"Perhaps I am from <em>beyond the grave,</em>" said Cormac, as he wiggled his fingers. "WOOOOOO."</p>
<p>"Come off it."</p>
<p>"Very well," said Cormac. "Then let us say I am from the mystical happy islands beyond the setting sun, and leave it at that."</p>
<p>"And yet you know so much about muggles. Do you find them fascinating?"</p>
<p>Cormac frowned. "Eh…no. No, not exactly. I mean if I have to actually think in terms of distinguishing muggles from Wizards – "</p>
<p>"I should think there’s a pretty big difference!" said Sparrow.</p>
<p>"Yes," said Cormac. "And no. There's Wizard magic, and then there's muggle magic. So to speak."</p>
<p>Sparrow raised her eyebrows. "And nobody ever saw it?"</p>
<p>"Everyone sees it," said Cormac. "You see it, I see it, anyone who sees an airplane in the sky sees it."</p>
<p>"Oh come on, that’s just science. Science isn’t magic."</p>
<p>"Indeed not! But that’s not what I’m talking about."</p>
<p>"Fine." Sparrow folded her arms. "What <em>are</em> you talking about then?"</p>
<p>"Well, think of the electrical technology you've seen, and what wonders humanity once wielded. Long after Wizards cut themselves out of the wider world, the wider world managed to come up with its own way of peering into the secrets of reality. They’ve unlocked parts of the universe that Wizards never bothered to look for, just as Wizards unlock secrets that nobody else knows how to look for. They’ve found elements beyond what Wizards know, and discovered the smallest unit of each, and discovered how to break those units in two. That’s where the bomb comes from. They figured out that there’s quite a bit of energy packed into each of those units."</p>
<p>"Yes, I have a vague idea of how nuclear explosions work."</p>
<p>"And they went further. They discovered the fundamental properties of light itself, and peered into the heavens – "</p>
<p>"Wizards also have Astronomy."</p>
<p>"And precisely how far away is the edge of the universe, according to Professor Sinistra?"</p>
<p>"Ten million miles?"</p>
<p>Cormac chuckled. "Ah, well. That is as far as Wizard telescopes can go, eh? But it is a trick question. There is no edge. I can never get Sinistra to understand that."</p>
<p>"How on earth – "</p>
<p>"Not on earth!" said Cormac. "Rockets took the pieces of a giant telescope into the heavens, and brave spacewalkers assembled it there, and there it floated for many decades, discovering cold heavens far beyond what anyone knew – and far beyond them, and beyond <em>them,</em> and beyond, and beyond, and beyond…until it looked so far that it <em>did</em> find an edge."</p>
<p>"You said there wasn’t one!"</p>
<p>"No hard edge. But there is a point past which no particle of light could ever reach us, because the universe is expanding too fast. So it is an effective edge, and one that moves with your frame of reference."</p>
<p>"What do you mean, <em>expanding</em>?"</p>
<p>"Long story. Getting to my point – people figured out how to focus light to go all in one direction, so as to travel miles upon miles in a tiny straight line, and light a match at the end, as easy as if from a pace away. They strapped a kind of mechanical internal combustion engine to wings, attached those to long narrow vehicles – "</p>
<p>"I think we’ve already established that I know what aeroplanes are."</p>
<p>"Believe me, some pureblood wizards don’t. Ignotius Travers – you know him, he was the one who put a knee through the Cadogan portrait last year – he asked me if I knew what those tiny things zooming along in the sky were, and couldn’t understand me when I said that they’re thousands of feet above. Some people don’t bother to teach their children about non-Wizard things and don’t care if their children fail the Muggle Studies class."</p>
<p>"Pureblood nonsense," said Sparrow.</p>
<p>"Mostly," said Cormac. "Sometimes you get mixed parents who figure their children will be totally immersed in the Wizarding World anyway so why bother. But everyone else has <em>some</em> idea of what humanity has discovered through science. They just…don’t get interested in it."</p>
<p>"Seems like it’s worth looking into."</p>
<p>"Is it?" said Cormac. "For me, sure. For someone busy at work, fussing with papers all day and meetings and politics, well – plenty of people just like that in the wider world, who are too busy surviving to thrive. And the way things have gone kablooey in recent decades, it’s not as though people have half of what they used to have – "</p>
<p>"Get to the point please."</p>
<p>" – But they have much of what they used to know. And they’re trying to get it back. And there are still people employed by city governments in scientific research, as an echo of what once was. Wizards have wizard magic, and we’re content with it, enough to leave well enough alone – enough to be hidebound. Quills and coaches and parchment and so forth."</p>
<p>"Ahem. The point, please?"</p>
<p>"The point is, muggle magic isn’t in the science. It’s in the ambition. The drive to keep learning. Wizards keep making experimental spells and whatnot, and yet…whatever the Unspeakables discover, they don’t share. So Wizard society is kind of stodgy."</p>
<p>"I don’t want to be stodgy."</p>
<p>"And that’s what I like about you. What I like about Violet, too. Both very studious, restless, never satisfied."</p>
<p>"Oh, well. You flatter me too much. When it comes to Defensive Arts I’ve been overly satisfied with the shield charm for years."</p>
<p>"Perhaps so. And yet this year, you start looking for the fundamental properties of magic, and propose a potion nobody’s ever succeeded in making? You’ve still got your ambitions. You’re not a stick-in-the-mud like Voldemort."</p>
<p>"Oh come on! He was a magical genius! In the worst possible way."</p>
<p>"And what was it all in the service of?"</p>
<p>"Um…slaughtering all the muggleborns."</p>
<p>"Not just that," said Cormac. "He wanted to wrench his world back to the old ways. He was a magical genius and a political stick-in-the-mud like so many purebloods. So – he never would have had the chance to learn how muggles already had the chance to vaporize him if they could find him. He could have kept up with technological developments, anticipated them, worked against them, worked <em>with</em> them, anything for power, but…no. Like so many Wizards, he just ignored the whole matter. I can’t believe the royal government didn’t try to find him. Oh, but I bet the Ministry of Magic kept saying they had it all under control."</p>
<p>"They couldn’t find him," said Sparrow. "He had invisibility charms and stuff."</p>
<p>"And muggles have wondrous electric spies that float in the heavens – "</p>
<p>"Cormac, I know what satellites are."</p>
<p>"Well excuse me for trying to make them sound more interesting! The point is, Voldemort’s lucky he didn’t manage to bash the Statute of Secrecy down, or him and all his death eaters would have been discovered by infrared satellite pictures and then erased by one of those blockbuster bombs. Boom. Problem solved."</p>
<p>"And...if I try to bash it down?"</p>
<p>"Ah, well, airplanes are fewer and smaller than they used to be, eh? Can’t carry blockbuster bombs anymore. But I imagine that if ordinary folks ever knew the truth of the stories they whisper to each other late at night, if they knew how many terrifying beasts there really were out there...they’d get whatever planes they could find and whatever bombs they could carry and start bombing like crazy just to feel safe. Imagine if they knew that lethifolds were around here!"</p>
<p>"Lethifolds?"</p>
<p>"A black blanket creature that smothers people and eats them."</p>
<p>Sparrow’s eyes grew wide. She began to shiver. Even as she left her chair and sat directly upon the hearth, she shivered.</p>
<p>"Something the matter?"</p>
<p>"Nothing," said Sparrow. She drew her legs up to her chin and wrapped her arms around them, and still she shivered.</p>
<p>"Does this have to do with your being so good at defensive spells?"</p>
<p>"Please drop the subject."</p>
<p>"It sure sounds like you were attacked by a – "</p>
<p>Sparrow turned her head towards Cormac, glaring at him with nearly as much fury as a tiny schoolgirl could muster.</p>
<p>Cormac fell silent.</p>
<p>After a few seconds, he picked up his ukulele and played a soft tune, head bent to his work. For a while he played, one tune after another, never speaking, never raising his head, as if he did not dare to meet Sparrow’s gaze again.</p>
<p>Sparrow was the first to break the silence. "I think I remember that song," she said. "I’ve got sixpence, jolly jolly sixpence…"</p>
<p>"Just playing the tunes I remember," said Cormac. "Try this one." He plucked out another tune.</p>
<p>"Mm-ah went the little green frog one day…"</p>
<p>"Marvelous. I didn’t expect you to know that one."</p>
<p>"Well where did you hear it that I wouldn’t have?"</p>
<p>Cormac winked.</p>
<p>Sparrow did not smile at this, but set her mouth in a grim line.</p>
<p>Cormac set the ukulele aside. "I am sorry," he said. "I have crossed a line tonight that I should have known not to cross. Or come much too close to it, anyway."</p>
<p>"Someday I’ll cross it," said Sparrow. "You ought to hear it sometime. Just so you know what to look out for. And how to look out for me."</p>
<p>"And I would appreciate hearing your story, whenever you wish to tell it. But as for me and my story…you hear the muggle songs out of me, and you already know I have a connection to that world. I had hoped our efforts to get past Filch would benefit from being a non-magical method, something he was unfamiliar with, I mean, he lived so long at this school he can’t possibly know tricks from outside his world – no such luck, that time."</p>
<p>"I don’t think we really had a chance with that one," said Sparrow. "I mean, you’re weirdly visible like me and Violet and Jill and Jocasta. And Professor Warbeck isn’t."</p>
<p>"Visible?" Cormac stopped strumming his ukulele. "Violet stands out in your eyes too?"</p>
<p>Sparrow nodded.</p>
<p>"And so do I. Okay. I thought that was just my eyes playing tricks on me. So this is some manner of magical phenomenon."</p>
<p>"Any idea what’s going on here?"</p>
<p>"Not yet," said Cormac. "I guess we could try to see if there’s anything like this in Wizarding history…But, whatever the case, I’d say you want to be more careful moving against either muggle or Wizarding governments. You stick out like a sore thumb!"</p>
<p>"Which means I am a distraction," said Sparrow.</p>
<p>Cormac grinned. "Oh ho. I didn’t think you were devious."</p>
<p>Sparrow winked.</p>
<p>"A real Slytherin after all, eh?"</p>
<p>Sparrow shook her head. "Personal ambition isn’t my goal, Cormy."</p>
<p>"Well what is then?"</p>
<p>"Friends."</p>
<p>"That’s all?"</p>
<p>"That’s the whole world, to me. It’s the whole world to everyone when you think about it! All the muggles anyway. Wizards can just wave a wand to conjure bread, but muggles, muggles have to stick together."</p>
<p>"Ah yes," said Cormac. "Yes indeed. We all do." He stared into the fire, looking more grim than he had all this evening. "No getting around that."</p>
<p>"Even with wondrous magic?"</p>
<p>"Based on scarce resources of wandwood."</p>
<p>"Ah ha," said Sparrow. "Yes. Or shall we say, <em>facilitated by.</em> You’ve heard of wandless magic, haven’t you? If we could figure out how to work that way…Hm. There’s an idea."</p>
<p>"Don’t throw another iron in the fire!"</p>
<p>"Okay," said Sparrow, "I know that one is <em>definitely</em> a muggle expression. Where the heck are you from?"</p>
<p>"Not telling you yet," said Cormac with a wry grin.</p>
<p>"Ugh! Fine!" Sparrow rose, and stood facing the fire. "I have a lot to think about anyway. Thank you, Cormac, for helping me understand the muggle situation. I find it easier to see how Wizards ought to remain hidden for the moment. That was…more about the subject than most people tell me."</p>
<p>"Glad I could help. Say, where’s Jill got to lately? She used to hang around here more often. I only see her in class now."</p>
<p>Sparrow sighed. "It’s like I said. She’s got me at arm’s length. I wonder if I can even blame her? Imagine if we cast a fireball at each other. We’d probably blow up the entire castle."</p>
<p>"Next time I see her, I’ll tell her you’re disappointed."</p>
<p>"She knows."</p>
<p>"And I will tell her that you understand her actions."</p>
<p>"Fair enough." Sparrow turned and departed for her dormitory.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In the ensuing weeks, Sparrow had to admit, reluctantly, to herself, that Cormac had helped her by mentioning Lethifolds, even if he had touched a painful nerve. In his blundering curiosity he had given Sparrow the opportunity to name the fear that had haunted her for so long, to give it shape, to set it in the world, such that she could at last confront the matter –</p>
<p>Through study, of course. If Lethifolds were indeed the culprit of the worst night she’d ever had, then they were extremely dangerous, and not the sort of thing one should attack without understanding its patterns.</p>
<p>So she asked Hagrid about these curious black blanket things, hoping for some further explanation. He could offer little more than what Cormac had told her. According to him Lethifolds were tropical things, rarely seen even in the tropics. He’d seen two in the Forbidden Forest during the later part of the blooming season – Sparrow had gone pale at this news, and Hagrid was only able to get her to stop shaking like a leaf when he told her that he’d only seen one Lethifold at a time over two decades, and never again. That information plus a great deal of tea had settled her nerves.</p>
<p>Hagrid didn’t know what the Lethifolds were made out of, because he’d never been able to catch one, nor did he know how they reacted, because he’d never wanted to stay around long enough to observe one. His reaction was the same as that of anyone who had sense – to blast it with a patronus, instead of standing there taking notes like an idiot.</p>
<p>So even big strong old Hagrid didn’t feel safe around these things.</p>
<p>Sparrow then turned her attention towards the Magical Creatures section of the library. One book after another she searched, from thin catalogues to weighty tomes. And yet no matter how weighty the tome, no matter how much it could go on about unicorns and dragons and grindylows and centaurs, there was always the same paltry explanation of Lethifolds: Tropical creature, nocturnal, devours sleeping people, can only be repelled by a strong patronus charm. There was almost nothing more, in any text, than what she could find in any other text. She might as well stick to the Scamander textbook, for all the library was helping her.</p>
<p>So, at the same time that Sparrow was pleased to have an idea of what had happened to her so long ago, she was immensely frustrated to have no further information than that. Typically an entry on any animal would explain its habitat, diet, living arrangements, method of reproduction, and so forth, such that someone wishing to deal with, say, a man-eating lion, or an elephant in Musth, would have some assumptions from which they could craft a counterstroke. Villagers in India used to wear masks on the backs of their heads because they knew tigers never attacked when someone was looking at them. Doves would fly out of a bush if you beat the ground. Deer were extremely sensitive to movement from the side but could be more easily approached from the front. That sort of thing.</p>
<p>For Lethifolds there was nothing, a blankness, a blackness, like the creature itself. And who could blame these writers? Nobody in their right mind would attempt to study these things up close. Not Hagrid. Not Mr. Scamander. Not Dangerous Dai Llewellyn. Maybe not even Godric Gryffindor. It would be more insane than trying to study a dementor. At least those things had restraint. When you looked at a Dementor, the abyss gazed back; when you looked at a Lethifold the abyss tried to eat you.</p>
<p>The only clues available were personal accounts of attacks from survivors, and those were few. Less than few, in fact: two. One, the ubiquitously repeated tale of Flavius Belby, whose successful repelling of the Lethifold with a Patronus was Sparrow’s one slim hope of defense; and the attack on Lady Warbeck, wherein a Lethifold…disguised itself as a stage curtain, apparently. They could be clever, then. Even devious.</p>
<p>That was more troubling than anything. What if any shadow, any curtain could be waiting to devour her? What if it was right behind – but such thoughts did not bear entertainment, lest she collapse into paralyzing terror once more. The castle had wards. And walls.</p>
<p>And open windows.</p>
<p>The days would have become difficult to bear, if a certain someone had not been distracting Sparrow from her darkest thoughts. For Jocasta was trying everything she could to get on Sparrow’s bad side. She disguised a plate of rocks as cupcakes and gave it to Sparrow. She stole Sparrow’s potions textbook. She tried to trip the girl. All of it happened, but none of it worked. Sparrow knew what Jocasta was trying, and couldn’t muster any hatred for her. The girl had put herself at Sparrow’s mercy. Unless she really was suicidal, there was no way Jocasta would risk any lasting harm. She was trying to help.</p>
<p>In point of fact – Sparrow had been speaking somewhat in jest, when she had said that Jocasta fancied her. Yet only because she found the situation amusing. Not because she thought the concept unlikely. She had hoped that Jocasta would think Sparrow was joking, if only because the entire conversation had been so unsettling that Sparrow needed that sort of laugh to shake it off. She didn’t want to get <em>involved</em> in anything yet. And yet – she hadn’t exactly said no to the animagus business, nor did she entirely dislike the idea of Jocasta fancying her.</p>
<p>In idle moments Sparrow even missed her company, annoying as it was. Just a faint disappointment, really. Nothing serious, nothing strong, not in the least bit as strong as how she missed Jill’s affections, nor even half as strong as missing her fireside chats with Cormac. A faint wisp of longing now and then.</p>
<p>But more frequent. Just because Jocasta paid her more attention now, surely. The girl had seemed to atone for the incident with the ink bottle, or seemed like she wanted to. But she had not apologized.</p>
<p>Nor did Sparrow feel very forgiving when Jocasta started going after other students. Finny Wambsgans, for example, missed the content of a Muggle Studies class because he’d been slipped a Daydream Chocolate. Percival Bulstrode had his favorite shoes turned barf orange. There were at least three Fanged Frisbees per week. That was Jocasta losing her touch. She must have known that there would always be a shield to block a Frisbee.</p>
<p>Then the Quidditch teams started finding their brooms missing, the quaffles acting strangely, the snitch let loose on the pitch. Not the bludgers, though. Nobody in their right mind would mess with a bludger.</p>
<p>And still Sparrow knew that Jocasta was trying to help her. So no matter what frustration Jocasta could inspire, none of it became a true hatred. It was enough frustration to let Sparrow fire off a stunning spell for Professor Budge once, and thank goodness he didn’t ask her to repeat the effort, because frustration was not enough for her to do the spell again. Perhaps she did need hatred. But it did not come.</p>
<p>The staff was beginning to get more than a little annoyed, and they were watching the students much more closely in the hallways now. The pranks, at least the violent ones, began to dwindle.</p>
<p>And then, they ceased altogether.</p>
<p>Jocasta had given up.</p>
<p>Sparrow felt sorry for the girl. She had tried so hard, and none of it had stuck. Sparrow wished she could offer an apology, but after the end of her pranks Jocasta did not visit Sparrow, nor stop to talk to her in the halls. She simply walked away, as quickly as she could.</p>
<p>The student body breathed a sigh of relief.</p>
<p>All save one.</p>
<p>…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>One fine December morning, in about the middle of the month, there was frost on the windowpanes. It was one of the few frosty days in the year. A pretty scene, and Sparrow was in high spirits for once. She was in high spirits as she traipsed to the library, past the curious glares of her classmates. She was in high spirits as she dragged a history tome off the shelf and opened to the seventeenth century. She was in high spirits as she read passages about wizards in the royal court of William and Mary.</p>
<p>She was in high spirits as she looked up from the book at Rubeus Hagrid, standing there at the end of the table.</p>
<p>"Professor Binns tells me," said Hagrid, "That you’ve been asking after the Statute of Secrecy like I told you not to."</p>
<p>"Hagrid, I – "</p>
<p>"He said you said you’ve been thinking of letting muggles know about us."</p>
<p>"How on earth did – I’ve never spoken to the man."</p>
<p>"He said you asked him all kinds of questions about the statute."</p>
<p>"And when was that?"</p>
<p>"Didn’t say."</p>
<p>Professor Binns never lied. He had no interest in lying, nor, as far as anyone knew, any capacity to do so. "It must have been someone in his class who looks like me," said Sparrow.</p>
<p>She realized how silly that sounded when she said it, but too late to take it back. Then again, there was such a thing as polyjuice potion. Was that it? Jocasta hadn’t yanked one of Sparrow’s hairs, had she? Or stolen one? But Sparrow always kept her hair cropped close in order to avoid that possibility . So how would Jocasta have managed to look like her?</p>
<p>"I’ve never asked Professor Binns about it, Hagrid. I mean, I talked to Cormac McKinnon, but – ah. I shouldn’t have said that. I should not have said that."</p>
<p>"If you’re interested in stepping over the line I set, Miss Jones, I think it’s high time you had a lesson only a Care of Magical Creatures professor can teach you."</p>
<p>"I’m not going," said Sparrow, and a glowing dome settled around her. "You cannot move me. No one can."</p>
<p>Hagrid brought out his umbrella and made a circular motion in Sparrow’s direction. A section of carpet beneath her chair separated from the rest of the carpet, and Sparrow found herself picked up and borne out of the room despite her best efforts.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Into the Woods</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hagrid, what are you doing.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Forbidden Forest. The land of endless shrubs. Just the sort of place where Hagrid had seen lethifolds. Thank goodness this detention was in the rainy season instead of in warm weather. But oh, what if? What if?</p><p>Sparrow had halted at the edge, and refused to tell Hagrid why, before finally gripping her wand tight in hand, squaring her shoulders, and pressing forward. If she was going to learn whatever Hagrid wanted to teach her then she couldn’t be stopped by ancient fears.</p><p>She could be slowed down by them. Now and then she did have to stop for the sake of her nerves, and for all that this was a Detention, Hagrid never asked her to carry onward until she was ready.</p><p>An hour into the journey to wherever they were going, Sparrow finally thought to ask the question that had been on her mind. "I thought this detention was going to be something like cleaning the thestral stables for a month," she said. "Not hiking into the Forbidden Forest. How long does this thing go on anyway? And why am I carrying this gear when you could carry it? You could carry all the supplies without a sweat. In fact, why do we have rucksacks at all when we could just magic everything we need? These things are for muggles."</p><p>"Hardly a punishment if it’s a walk in the park," said Hagrid. "I can stop for you as often as you like but I’m still cross. So you’re learning a lesson. And we can’t magic everything we need, because we don’t have a mokeskin bag, you’re not skilled enough to handle all the spells you’d need, and anyway you don’t want to rely on magic alone when you’re in a dangerous place. So, muggle gear it is. Complain all you like but I’m not changing my mind about that."</p><p>"And where exactly are we going?"</p><p>"To the grave of an old friend."</p><p>"Out in the middle of the woods?"</p><p>"Don’t know if it’s the middle," said Hagrid. "Never really found the other side, no matter how long I walked. And I’ve walked a long, long time. But it’s deep in. Or maybe I should say, it’s far in. Can’t call it deep if all the big trees are gone, can ye?"</p><p>Sparrow looked around. There were a lot of low bushes with long grey-brown tapering leaves, and the occasional tree about twice her height, a rare few twice the height of Hagrid. But there was, indeed, no depth to this place, just endlessness. Not eternity, exactly – that would have required more open space. This was more enclosed, in its own way.</p><p>Had it been the usual rainy day, as opposed to a frost day, it would have been endless misery. With frost on the leaves and upon the blades of grass, it was more like endless mystery.</p><p>"Where did the big trees go?"</p><p>"Long story," said Hagrid. "Not all my own fault, but somewhat. It’s not me that made the world hot and dry and cold and stormy all at the same time. I just…let some things happen that weakened this place, you could say.</p><p>"To begin with, there’re these birds called Rheas. Native to South America. They run over the dry plains, you see. Tall flightless birds, like ostriches. Right? Well, some twat decided he wanted them around his nice parkland down in Devon."</p><p>"So?"</p><p>"So, Rheas belong in South America. That’s their domain. Have you not heard of Invasive Species?"</p><p>Sparrow shook her head.</p><p>"Right. Well, us humans, we think we know where to put animals, and sometimes, it turns out we don’t. Sometimes we introduce animals to places they shouldn’t go. No natural predators, right? And nobody wants to hunt them. So they overrun the whole landscape and eat everything and ruin everything. Like what old Professor Kettleburn told me about Starlings in the Americas – some idiot introduced them and suddenly the regular birds started to get crowded out. Things like that. Well."</p><p>"What does that have to do with these things?"</p><p>"I’m getting to that. I’m getting to that. See, the Rheas were kind of like the starlings. They got loose, and this fool muggle couldn’t catch ’em, and nobody could. They wouldn’t eat the poison set out for them, they dodged the guns. And they multiplied. And they nibbled the landscape half to death. Ate all of the heath and all of the harvest mice. Muggles didn’t know what to do."</p><p>"So why didn’t a Wizard help the muggles deal with them?"</p><p>"Muggle problem. Not our domain."</p><p>"But – "</p><p>"We’re Wizards, Sparrow. We also have domains. Like the starlings. Anyway, getting back to the story. The Rheas, well, they’re wild animals, they don’t know how to obey the Statute of Magical Secrecy. So some of them got themselves into the Old Forest and, er…interbred with a bunch of cockatrices. And produced these things, that hide like shrubs, run like the wind, and never get fooled by the same trick twice. Arr, see, then it became a Wizarding matter. So I got myself authorization from the Ministry of Magic, I did, and got down to Cornwall and scooped up all the new birds, and all the old birds too."</p><p>"But you said those weren’t your domain."</p><p>Hagrid chuckled. "I know how to bend the rules, Miss Jones. Might even have a reputation for it. I’m lucky the prime minister is a doddering old fool who signs things without looking at them, otherwise I might never have been given the job."</p><p>"I’m not sure where you’re going with all this," said Sparrow, as she swept a branch out of her way.</p><p>"The story isn’t done yet, Miss Jones. I brought the birds here and called them Rhiannons. And I didn’t know what I was doing with them, because they went and they ate up all the pine cones, and they kicked out all the underbrush, and suddenly there were fewer pine trees around here, and when the world got dry…there were even fewer. So that’s why I think it’s partly my own fault that the Forbidden Forest looks the way it does now. There’s domains for you. If you break them without knowing what you’re doing, like I did, you change your world in ways you don’t expect."</p><p>Sparrow looked around. There was a Rhiannon following them at a far distance. Big eyes, bigger than the girl’s fist, deep eyes. There was a mystery there too. Sparrow had the feeling that this bird knew a lot more than it was willing to let on.</p><p>For one thing, it nodded its head in the direction that Sparrow had been going, as if to tell her, "turn around".</p><p>Sparrow turned. There was a wide clearing amidst the bushes. And there in the clearing grew the most grass she had ever seen in one place.</p><p>"What is this?" said Sparrow.</p><p>"This is it," said Hagrid. "Aragog’s grave."</p><p>"I don’t see it."</p><p>"Yes you do."</p><p>"Well where is it then?"</p><p>Hagrid nodded to the clearing. "There."</p><p>"The clearing?"</p><p>"Yep."</p><p>"But where in the clearing? I told you I don’t – "</p><p>"It’s the entire clearing."</p><p>" – oh. Um. Was Aragog a dragon?"</p><p>"Just a spider," said Hagrid. "A mighty one. Ruled the forest, he did, along with all his children. Almost killed Harry Potter, but I was friends with Aragog, and they was friends with me. So the old spider paused long enough for a bit of muggle magic to save them. Long story. If you ever meet Ron Weasley remind him about that for me."</p><p>"So where did Aragog’s children go? We haven’t seen any of them."</p><p>"Can’t say for certain." Hagrid placed his own rucksack down, and sat upon a large rock. "Maybe they ran off to the muggle world and all got killed. Maybe they ran so far into these woods that we’ll never see them again. Either way, the Rhiannons kind of crowded them out, and once the pines were gone there weren’t much left for them so I can’t hardly blame ‘em for leavin’. Makes detentions in this place a bit safer in the rainy season, if a bit more boring. Anyway!" He slapped his knee. "Lesson number one. Magical creatures can get this big, and bigger. What do you think would happen if you introduced them to the muggle world?"</p><p>"Muggles would get really scared?"</p><p>"And?"</p><p>"Send out some kind of knight to slay them. Or just someone with a shotgun, I guess. Or drop a lot of bombs. They’d have something real to fight against, instead of just fireside stories."</p><p>"Exactly," said Hagrid. "Without the Statute of Secrecy, Aragog would never have survived in peace. In our little hidden world, he had the chance to live in peace and sire many children." Hagrid stood, and hoisted his rucksack onto his shoulders. "Come on. The next grave is a fair distance away."</p><p>"How far?"</p><p>"Why did you think I brought a tent along?"</p><p>"Son of a – "</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>It took the rest of the day and half of the next day before there was another clearing. It would have taken less time, but as they continued Sparrow had to stop more and more often. Hagrid began to look a little exasperated, but didn’t give Sparrow an unkind word. He just let her tremble, as long as she needed, until she could go on again. They reached the clearing after many delays.</p><p>It was a slightly smaller space than that of Aragog, and more encroached by trees. In fact, Sparrow had not seen quite so many trees in one place before, outside of the paradise gardens.</p><p>There was a simple headstone.</p><p><em>Grawp the Short, last of the giants</em>. 1933-2030.</p><p>"That’s a funny name," said Sparrow.</p><p>"It’s a giant name," said Hagrid. "Giants understood it. I never did."</p><p>"How did you know him?"</p><p>Hagrid told Sparrow the whole tale, from meeting him in the Ural Mountains all the way to putting him up in the Forbidden Forest.</p><p>Sparrow went over to the stone and touched the place that said 2030. "And he died close to the time I was born. What happened? Did he meet his match?"</p><p>"You might say that." Hagrid dropped his rucksack and took out an apple, which he popped into his mouth and chewed. "So did muggles, in a way, although it was their own fault. You can’t expect a giant to be able to handle the heat. Grawp couldn’t. There was a summer when he didn’t manage to get to the highlands in time, and a heatwave came on and killed him. I have enough trouble handling the summer myself."</p><p>"And you managed to drag him all the way out here?"</p><p>"Ah, well. We’d buried him at the edge of the forest, didn’t we? But the forest has its own way of doing things, let’s leave it at that. But it’s the second part that’s important. ‘Last of the giants.’ I’m sure Grawp was the last. Never saw another after him. I went back to the place where I’d seen ‘em last, back in Scandinavia. But they were gone, and all I found there were bones. So. When Grawp was gone so was the giants, and that’s that, I suppose. Now, why do you think there were so few?"</p><p>"I really have no idea. They’re in all the children’s stories."</p><p>"Right, and what does old Jack do to them in the stories?"</p><p>Sparrow thought. Jack, who slew a giant. Always one giant or another. Sometimes he tricked them into a hole, sometimes he tricked them into hanging themselves. "Never suffered a giant to live," said Sparrow.</p><p>"Right. And neither did King Arthur, or Thor, or anyone. Understandable, I suppose. Giants were never very friendly. They were dangerous! Ate everyone’s livestock, smashed houses, all manner of mischief. So muggles and wizards alike couldn’t let ‘em live. That’s your second lesson. The Statute of Secrecy is for protecting muggles from dangerous beasts. There’s some that even the biggest Muggle bomb and the best muggle guns couldn’t handle. You know about dementors, well enough. You know about lethifolds as well. Not many people do. Didn’t expect you to ask about them things. Why did you?"</p><p>"Never mind."</p><p>"Come on, now. You can tell me."</p><p>"I most certainly cannot."</p><p>"Am I not trustworthy?"</p><p>"I said cannot. Not that I won’t tell you, but that I can’t. I can’t bring up the subject here, I can’t talk about it – here of all places I can’t even tell you, you who know how to cast a Patronus – "</p><p>"Oh, so the brave and talented Miss Jones is scared – "</p><p>"I have every fucking right to be!" Sparrow shrugged her rucksack off her shoulders and let it fall with a clatter. "I have every right to be scared of something <em>you’re</em> scared of! And it’s not just about that, because if it was only that I could just climb up on your shoulders and feel safe there! You saw very clearly what happened to me when we spoke of the matter before, and how much effort it took to get me to calm down! Why the hell did you decide to bring me into the midst of this place when you knew what it would do to me?" Sparrow’s voice broke as she felt tears come to her eyes. "Why did you put me through – through all – this – " And then there were no more words, only tears.</p><p>Hagrid placed his own rucksack upon the ground, sat down before Sparrow and fished a handkerchief out of one of his pockets. A Hagrid-sized handkerchief, enough to make a tunic for a man of normal height. He handed it to Sparrow, who buried her face in it, still weeping. It was just the sort of thing she needed right now. Her tears would have soaked a normal handkerchief fairly quickly.</p><p>Hagrid picked her up, placed her on his knee, and put a huge arm around her, as she cried herself out.</p><p>When she was finished, he said, "I’m sorry. For taking you this far without asking how you were doing. I could’ve asked…and I was wondering, anyway. I thought you might have some trouble when you halted at the edge there. But you decided to square your shoulders and follow me. So, I figured you were alright with the whole journey, and you were stopping out of exhaustion. Wouldn’t be a surprise. You’re a little slip of a girl carryin’ an entire rucksack. But you’re havin’ a bad time. Worse than most who come here. Why’d you decide to keep goin’ after all?"</p><p>"You didn’t give me a choice."</p><p>"Well…I didn’t tell you there was a choice. I’ve been meaning to offer to end this whole journey for a while now, ever since you had to stop that first time. I guess I should’ve made the offer earlier, eh? I was too focused on making sure you got to see what I was trying to tell ye, and didn’t realize how bad you were taking it. We can go back and you can polish everything in the trophy room, if this is too much for you. Or…we can go on, and I can show you the last thing."</p><p>"Are you making me go on?"</p><p>"After what I just saw out of your eyes? I couldn’t possibly make you go on. I shouldn’t have even offered. We ought to head back to the castle and finish up with something else."</p><p>"It’s fine," said Sparrow. "I can go on as long as…as long as you’re with me. Alright?"</p><p>"Fair enough," said Hagrid. "And I won’t mention the L-word again."</p><p>"Thank you."</p><p>"And I’ll handle the rucksack."</p><p>"I’ve got it."</p><p>"You sure?"</p><p>Sparrow stood, and shouldered her burden. "I’ll let you know if I’m having trouble."</p><p>"Fair enough."</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Past the grave of Grawp, there was no more path to be found. From this point on it was a complete wilderness, full of those bushes with the long tapering leaves. They scraped Sparrow as she walked by, and she had to keep her shield spell up just to brush them out of the way. Sometimes Hagrid carried her on his shoulders, though she didn’t want to make him a pack horse for the entire trip. Most of the time she walked.</p><p>For days. Through the cold rain. The frost had long since gone. Sparrow’s one solace in the whole journey was that, in this cold and misery, crawling insects were dormant. Blooming season should have been the joy of the year for her, as it was for so many, but for her it was bittersweet, for now she had to wonder if the year’s growing heat would let lethifolds hide within the forest. Had she been out in the forest in March she would not have gone a step beyond the giant’s grave.</p><p>Yet here in the wet season she was stepping farther than she had ever dreamed of going. Sparrow lost count of the hills they climbed, the mountains they skirted, and the rivers they forded – well, Hagrid towed a floating Sparrow over those rivers. In these hills the trees began to thin out, but the bushes never did. In fact they seemed to get thicker.</p><p>"It occurs to me," said Sparrow, as they descended a slope towards a lake, "that you could fit quite a lot of Wizards in here. In fact, you could probably fit all of Wizarding Britain in here."</p><p>"True enough," said Hagrid. "There aren’t many wizards around anyway. What do you have, forty to a year? Fifty? You could fit every wizard in Britain into Hogwarts, although some o’ them might be competing for elbow space. And then inventing spells to steal people’s elbows."</p><p>"So why don’t we?"</p><p>"Stuff every wizard into one place?" said Hagrid. "Make every wizard live in Hogsmeade? Turn Diagon Alley into a Wizard City? Ha! Sounds like something a Pureblood Supremacist would come up with. No, Miss Jones, Wizards themselves wouldn’t take kindly to that. Our magic is secret, but plenty of folks still got friends in the muggle world. Imagine telling them they had to live far away from muggles, away from their parents, their relatives, their favorite parks and forests."</p><p>"I hadn’t thought of that. What if we stuffed all of Britain into this forbidden forest? I feel like we’ve walked as far as Kent is wide."</p><p>"Might have done by now. But I sincerely hope you’re joking about the stuffing part."</p><p>"Maybe. I mean, supposing the pureblood supremacists did want to completely withdraw from the muggle world, they could re-create their own wizard society entirely within this place, couldn’t they?"</p><p>"Maybe," said Hagrid, as he lowered Sparrow down a tall ledge. "But then, you’re thinking of this whole thing like muggle kings used to think. Who are you to shift the whole world around like it’s your chess board, hm? It ain't hardly fair to change people’s lives for them without asking, now is it?"</p><p>"Perhaps not," said Sparrow. "Sometimes it’s for their own good though."</p><p>Hagrid had been preparing to climb down the ledge after her, but then he paused. "And you know what’s good for them better than they do, eh?"</p><p>"Sometimes. I mean, people do some really stupid things."</p><p>"Like run around asking too many questions about the Statute of Secrecy?"</p><p>Hagrid’s position above Sparrow did not inspire her to offer any comment.</p><p>"You just want to be able to do your magic in public, I’ll be bound. That’s why you were asking about domains."</p><p>"There’s more to it than that!" said Sparrow. "The first time I read my magical creatures textbook, I wanted everyone to see dragons. I thought every kid in the world should get the chance to see a unicorn. And then I come to Hogwarts and people tell me no, it all has to be secret. Shush shush. Everybody’s missing out on this! Everyone is missing out on doing wonders, because we’re all shut up here. I want the whole world to have magic, Hagrid. Is that too much to ask?"</p><p>Hagrid raised an eyebrow.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Been thinking about this all your school years, have you?"</p><p>"Sort of. I only came up with the idea of giving everyone magic after you told me about dangerous creatures attacking muggles."</p><p>Hagrid sighed. "The things I set off because I can’t keep my big mouth shut. Again. You’re beginning to sound like old Grindlewald. But you’re not interested in lording it over muggles, are ye? Yer not selfish like he was."</p><p>"I hope not?"</p><p>"Ah, but still dangerous. Who would have thought that a little Hufflepuff girl would be wanting to do things more dangerous than Voldemort ever thought of? But he was selfish too."</p><p>"What do you mean, dangerous? I want to give everyone the same power I have."</p><p>"Exactly the point," said Hagrid. "Ah, but McGonagall knows more about wizard politics than I do. I’m bring you along to show you what I can demonstrate, not speak for her. So." He finished climbing the ledge. "You want to give every bloke and blighter and biddy in the world some magic, is that it? Let ‘em in on the wizarding world. Ha! I’m about to show you some things even most wizards can’t handle."</p><p>"If you’re taking me to meet my worst fear after all – "</p><p>"I’m not a complete idiot," said Hagrid.</p><p>"Then what are we seeing? Dragons?"</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They had halted at the top of a low mountain.</p><p>Hagrid had decided this was a good place to end the journey, for, as he said, the plain beyond was something he’d barely escaped alive. He waved his wand in the air and the image of the plain grew in their sight as if through a giant telescope. "Here," he said, "We ought to be safe watching from this distance."</p><p>"Watching what?"</p><p>In the magical telescope Sparrow could see the Rhiannons. They ran almost too fast to notice – at one moment they were on one edge of the view, and in the next moment they were on the other. And it was a wide view indeed. Sparrow stepped to the side of the magical telescope and tried to take in the view of the plain as a whole. From one horizon to another, over a flat expanse, there were clumps of the very sorts of bushes that she and Hagrid had passed between to get here. There was little else. A few different sorts of low trees, some scraggly vegetation close to the ground. Not much more.</p><p>She’d been told that, once upon a time, there had been more plant variety in the world. But that was mostly gone now. It was all about the same, only changing color from green-gray in the wet season to green-brown in the dry season.</p><p>From this distance, she could see the Rhiannons moving faster than she’d ever seen a car go.</p><p>So what, exactly, was able to overtake their speed by an order of magnitude? What was the creature moving so fast that she could only see its aftermath when a Rhiannon’s neck exploded in blood?</p><p>"Things down there," said Hagrid. "Never quite figured out what they were or where they came from. I was too busy trying to escape, you see. Got a bit too close last time."</p><p>"You can’t apparate out of here?"</p><p>"We’re on the Hogwarts grounds, Miss Jones. Besides which, I never got taught how, now did I? Got expelled in me third year for something I never did. Long story, you might have heard it already. It was back when Aragog was a wee little spider…"</p><p>Sparrow was not listening to Hagrid, for she had finally seen one of the swift creatures come to a halt. It was feasting upon the Rhiannon that had died messily. A creature like a cat, yet extremely narrow and pointed, as if meant to slice right through the air. She thought of a shark in cat form. This one was dull gray, like everything in this landscape. But what to call it? A shark cat? A cat shark? A cark?</p><p>The most dangerous cats she had never heard of were called nundu. They could spread poison breath over a whole area and nothing could take them down. Perhaps these were related.</p><p>"You haven’t named them yet," said Sparrow. "So I get to do it first."</p><p>"Now hang on a minute, I saw them first – "</p><p>"They shall be known as narks."</p><p>Hagrid scratched his head. "Name sounds familiar, but alright. Fair enough. Narks it is. Let’s keep watching a bit and head back then."</p><p>Sparrow shrugged. "I feel like I’ve seen everything there is to – wait." Sparrow stepped away from the magical telescope and surveyed the landscape.</p><p>The Rhiannon had started from <em>there</em>…and reached <em>there</em> within the space of a second. The nark had started from <em>somewhere</em> and reached <em>there</em> within half a second. Maybe it was from a distance shorter than what the Rhiannon travelled. Maybe it was from a longer distance. But the space the Rhiannon had crossed looked like it was slightly longer than the distance from its corpse to the mountaintop.</p><p>"We may not actually be safe here," said Sparrow.</p><p>"Nonsense," said Hagrid. "They can’t see us from up here."</p><p>"Then how do they spot a Rhiannon from a longer distance? They have the eyes of hawks, Hagrid. I’ve seen enough. We should be going. Right now."</p><p>Sparrow glanced at the magical telescope. In it, the nark had lost the Rhiannon to a larger and more powerfully built beast of stamping feet and jutting horns. This one had no need to move as fast as the nark, because it could just bully other creatures out of their kills. Having no chance to get its food back, the nark had lost interest.</p><p>And it was staring straight at the two wizards.</p><p>Sparrow had the space of half a second to get her shield up before the cat slammed into it. The shock of the impact forced the girl a step back. She had never been forced back before, not even an inch. No spell of Jill’s had ever hit with as much force as the nark did, and before Sparrow could even react the nark had run back and then straight at the barrier again. Every impact forced the girl backward. And why was it not going at her from the side?</p><p>She turned her shield into a dome over herself and Hagrid, just before the nark slammed into it from the side.</p><p>"Oh boy," said Sparrow, "I sure wish we could apparate out of here." She winced as the nark slammed into the barrier again. "I sure wish someone had learned how to do that."</p><p>"Excuse me for getting framed by Voldemort ninety years ago!" said Hagrid.</p><p>"Well maybe you can stun this thing," said Sparrow. "Because I sure can’t."</p><p>"What do you mean you can’t? Oh right, I’m talking to Sparrow Jones. Ha! Well, What if I just try to catch it with me bare hands?"</p><p>"Somehow I don’t think you’d survive that. Oh, great. Now what’s it doing?"</p><p>The nark had ceased to ram its head into the barrier, and was now attempting to bite through it. Sparrow thought this to be comical.</p><p>Until the barrier began to flicker.</p><p>"You didn’t answer my question," said Sparrow. "Why can’t you stun this thing?"</p><p>"It eats magic," said Hagrid. "Tell you what. I’ll just get close here…" He moved to the space where the nark was eating the barrier and waited. The nark looked at him and snarled, then moved to a different spot and took a bite. Hagrid wound up spinning in place as the nark continued to move, stopping only here and there to keep biting.</p><p>The barrier flickered, and finally disappeared.</p><p>In that instant, Hagrid whirled around, and he caught the beast, holding his hands over its muzzle.</p><p>The nark was surprisingly strong, for all that its build seemed more gracile than powerful. Perhaps it took a great deal of strength to reach near-supersonic speeds. As it was, Hagrid had a hard time keeping the nark’s jaws shut, and it scratched at his arms and torso as they struggled upon the ground. Sparrow began to understand why Hagrid wore that giant moleskin coat, because it tended to make sharp claws slide off.</p><p>"Stun it!" said Hagrid.</p><p>"What if I hit you?"</p><p>"I can take a few hits!" said Hagrid. "Don’t worry about me, just stun this thing and keep at it!"</p><p>"But it eats magic – oh. I see."</p><p>Stun magic. Offensive magic. The very sort of magic she had sworn to avoid. Every bit of her life past eight years old had bent towards learning how to defend her friends without having to hurt anyone. She didn’t want to hate anyone or hurt them, not even the fierce wild beasts, not even – perhaps not even the most deadly of them all.</p><p>"What are you waiting for?" said Hagrid.</p><p>He was beginning to lose ground. Sparrow tried to think of a good defensive spell, something that would tie the nark up. She pointed her wand at the nark and shouted, "<em>Petrificus Totalis</em>!"</p><p>The nark froze for the space of half a second, just long enough for Hagrid to get a better grip on its muzzle. But then the nark began to thrash again.</p><p>"Stun it!" said Hagrid. "Don’t waste time playing nice!"</p><p>Hagrid was already back to where he had been. He wasn’t going to last much longer. And Sparrow was out of ideas. But she had no idea if the stunning spell would even work, and there might not be enough time to try anything else if it didn’t. How was she supposed to make it work?</p><p>Jocasta had told her she needed to feel hatred if she was to cast an offensive spell. How could she hate a wild creature? It was innocent. Fierce, deadly, but technically innocent. And yet, by that criteria a lethifold was innocent as well. Sparrow had no desire to entertain that possibility.</p><p>Hagrid looked like his grip was about to slip.</p><p>Jill had told Sparrow about the value of offensive spells. How sometimes a friend was in danger and there was nothing you could do but to strike their assilant down. And Hagrid was a friend. And Sparrow had sworn to never let a friend come to harm, never again. There was nothing for it, then, but to break her vow of peace.</p><p>Sparrow pointed her wand at the snarling beast and, with all the fear and rage and hatred she could muster, shouted "<em>Stupefy!</em>"</p><p>A jet of red light shot out from the wand and struck the creature between the shoulder blades. The nark shuddered, and then seemed to grow slightly larger. Again Sparrow shouted "<em>Stupefy!</em>" and the nark grew a bit larger still, and slightly reddish.</p><p>Again and again she threw a stunning spell at the beast, while Hagrid held on for dear life. Bit by bit the nark grew larger and redder. Hagrid began to look like he was reaching the last of his strength. The nark was now half again as large as it had been, now twice as large, now three times as large. Hagrid was holding onto the beast now instead of being able to hold it down. If it got a bit larger it would be able to carry him away. A swipe of its paw was now powerful enough to go right through the moleskin coat and draw blood.</p><p>Sparrow hesitated.</p><p>"What are you waiting for?" said Hagrid. "Finish it off!"</p><p>Another stunning spell wouldn’t be good enough. What else was there? Stupefy was the only one she was familiar with because it was the one she kept trying to do. But Jill had a dozen different attacks in her repertoire. What was her favorite? Oh yes.</p><p>"Expulso!" shouted Sparrow. "Expulso! Expulso!"</p><p>Three mighty blasts in quick succession, all absorbed by the creature’s skin. Had the nark not been full of magic already it could have survived all three. Yet, having devoured an entire magical barrier cast by the strongest barrier witch of the age, and at least twenty stunning spells, there was no more room within the nark for anything else. Red light shone through its cracking skin, and then the cracks erupted in flame.</p><p>The nark raised its head and howled in pain, its body shuddering in the final throes of death. It fell to the ground beside Hagrid and lay still, with no more shuddering, no flinching nor thrashing, as the flames licked over its charred and blackened body.</p><p>The beast was no more.</p><p>For a moment, neither Wizard moved nor spoke.</p><p>Hagrid got to his feet and took a handkerchief out of one of his surviving coat pockets. Yet when he offered it to Sparrow, she did not move to take it, nor did she even look at it. She remained standing there, wand held outward, her gaze never leaving the spot where she had killed the nark.</p><p>Hagrid sat back down upon the stone. He spoke not a word as Sparrow remained standing.</p><p>Until at last the girl said, "I cast a curse." She let her arm drop. "Let that be the last time."</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. The Greenhouse</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Miranda has a confession to make.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The journey back to the castle was quiet, especially at first. Sparrow’s only communication with Hagrid had been to nod when he offered to carry her upon his shoulders. Otherwise she spoke not a word, not for a good long while. There was, after all, nothing left to say. The lesson was learned. The job was done. Good enough, right? More than good enough. It was done too well.</p><p>Well, there was something to say when magic had to be done. Here was a stream to ford. Narrow, deep and swift, something that Hagrid could cross but Sparrow could not. The girl produced her wand, pointed it at herself and spoke for the first time in hours. "Levicorpus."</p><p>Nothing happened.</p><p>"I thought you had that spell mastered," said Hagrid.</p><p>"I did," said Sparrow. "I think my wand won’t produce magic."</p><p>"I shan’t say I’m surprised," said Hagrid. "You’ve had a rough day and you’ve been through a lot this week. I’m surprised you decided to talk to me again."</p><p>"I’m fine," said Sparrow. "Well, better. I’m blaming my wand for this one. I cast offensive magic. I killed the Nark. I think my wand is mad at me."</p><p>"For saving our lives?"</p><p>"For violating some of my core principles, which the wand took on as its own core principles."</p><p>Hagrid looked confused. "You mean to tell me," said Hagrid, "that even if it’s for a good cause, even if it’s to save the life of a friend, your wand will punish you for doing something out of character?"</p><p>"Seems like it."</p><p>Hagrid scowled. "Pardon my French, Miss Jones, but your wand is an uptight bitch."</p><p>"I am not at liberty to agree with you," said Sparrow. "But my wand and I appear to be having a row. So, would you be a dear and carry me across the river?"</p><p>Hagrid grumbled as he lifted Sparrow onto his shoulders. He grumbled as he waded into the water.</p><p>As the river got up to Hagrid’s waist, he said, "No more hexes, then, eh? No more jinxes, no more curses. Ha! But wizards have to get creative sometimes, don’t they, ‘cause sometimes a spell just doesn’t work on your target, and sometimes you just can’t cast the spell you want. Well, here’s an idea. The wand won’t let you cast curses. But what if you cast regular spells offensively? Like turning up Lumos way high in order to blind people. Or making your shield move forward at high speed."</p><p>"Can I do that?"</p><p>"You’re a Wizard, Miss Jones. What can’t you do?"</p><p>They walked on, and, day by day, drew nearer to the forest’s edge, until at last the castle came in sight.</p><p>"This is it, then?" said Sparrow. "Is my detention over? Am I free to go?"</p><p>"Almost," said Hagrid. "Almost. I need you to promise you won’t go asking any of the teachers about the Statute of Secrecy."</p><p>"Hagrid, I – "</p><p>"Promise?"</p><p>"You have my word. Now can I go?"</p><p>"I’ll walk you to the edge. You’ll see why when we get there."</p><p>At the edge of the forest, where the bushes brushed up against Hagrid’s hut, they stopped. "Right, now," said Hagrid. "Turn around."</p><p>Sparrow turned.</p><p>The bushes had gone. In their place were those birds that looked so much like bushes, the birds with the intelligent eyes, the rhiannons.</p><p>"When I said they kicked out all the underbrush," said Hagrid, "What I meant was they replaced it all. These are funny birds, Miss Jones, more adaptable than you’d think, and once the Nark came around they figured out how to disguise themselves as bushes so perfectly that they became plants. That’s where the forest went. That’s some unintended consequences for you. Keep that in mind."</p><p>Sparrow left for the castle, wondering how on earth she’d survived long enough to reach the nark plain in the first place.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>There were things Wizards could do, and things they couldn’t do. What Sparrow could do was notice that very few students were talking to her. Except for the one student who, sitting across from her at the dining table, said "we’re not speaking to you." So that made things straightforward, if not necessarily clear.</p><p>Fortunately, Cormac was still willing to converse with her. And so, a day after Sparrow came back from detention, the two found themselves in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, where Sparrow had been trying to get the woman to relay a new message to Miranda McClivert. But the woman was having none of it.</p><p>"I can’t believe this," said Sparrow. "Even the portraits don’t like me."</p><p>"The rumors have grown pretty wild," said Cormac. "People are saying you want to break out of Azkaban and free all the prisoners. They’re saying you want to unleash magic on the entire world. They’re saying that you butter your bread on the wrong side."</p><p>"Oh," said Sparrow. "Everyone does that. And how am I going to break out of Azkaban if I’m not in there in the first place? Although I’d probably get tossed in there if I kept on my current course. No, Cormac, I’m not interested in such a thing. Although I have heard that Jocasta Carrow is dabbling in dark magic."</p><p>"Doesn’t sound surprising. I mean, she is a Slytherin."</p><p>"No, that’s not – dammit."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I’m trying to spread a nasty rumor about her."</p><p>"And you’re accusing a Slytherin of dabbling in dark magic. Are you going to accuse a Gryfindor of being too bold?"</p><p>"Clearly I am not good at this. I’ll have to think of some other revenge."</p><p>"Revenge! From you? Of all people?"</p><p>"I am that angry. Yes."</p><p>"What on earth did Jocasta do to you?"</p><p>"She – look, if you think you crossed a line, Jocasta dashed over it at a full sprint. I am utterly furious. And I’ve been putting up with her pranks long enough. I will have my satisfaction against her."</p><p>"Are we talking about the line whose details you can’t describe to me until it’s the right time, which hasn’t even come around yet?"</p><p>"That one."</p><p>"And you expected Jocasta to know where it was?"</p><p>"Well…I mean, she’s a fly on the wall."</p><p>"You’re assuming she eavesdropped."</p><p>"Well…"</p><p>"What’s your name?"</p><p>"What on earth does that – "</p><p>"Answer the question, please."</p><p>"Sparrow Jones."</p><p>"And your reputation at this school is?"</p><p>"A very protective girl, if not very nice."</p><p>"Bingo. And that same girl suddenly wants horrible nasty revenge. Something has gone wrong indeed. What happened to you in the Forbidden Forest?"</p><p>"Something that made me decide I wasn’t going to get pushed around anymore."</p><p>"And you want to – what? Permanently harm a young girl by slandering her? What on earth has gotten into you? Oh, for Heaven’s sake – look. Don’t go too far, alright? If you want to respond to Jocasta’s actions, keep your answer proportional. Keep it just and keep it honest. Otherwise…I’d wonder where my good old friend went. I’d wonder if she died in the forest after all."</p><p>Cormac departed without another word.</p><p>And Sparrow realized that, as far as she could remember, this was the first time Cormac had ever described her as a good friend. She had called him a friend now and then, but – this was different. How many times now had he tried his best to warn her away from dark paths? Twice? Just like Hagrid.</p><p>Good God. What a precious thing she could lose, if she let fury have its way with her. And she had been preparing to give someone else twelve helpings of vitriol. Not anymore.</p><p>She departed for the Herbology lesson.</p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>There was one student in Herbology who stood out above the rest, having managed to get her Dittany, a notoriously fickle plant, to grow thrice the height of anyone else’s, while keeping it safe from fungus and stem worms as none others had done. This was also the student who seemed to excel in Care of Magical Creatures, and go far beyond her age level in Potions. This was the tall and mighty Miranda McClivert.</p><p>Sparrow felt that it stood to reason that a bold potions experimenter would also have the foresight to secure her own ingredients, of the floral and faunal variety. Goodness knew there weren’t enough wild specimens left for the aspiring potioneer. The greenhouses at Hogwarts, accordingly, took up about 1/3 of the grounds and supplied mandrake, dittany, Shrivelfig and Moly, among other ingredients, to the wizarding world. Professor Longbottom, being the Master of the Greenhouses, was in a position to significantly influence the potioneering of the Wizarding World. He did, in fact, take advantage of this position to severely reduce the amount of magical poisons that wizards produced, keeping the necessary plants purely as scientific specimens, in a separate greenhouse locked with enchantments that no student had ever managed to break.</p><p>Professor Longbottom was the foremost Herbologist of his age, and Miranda McClivert stood to replace him in that role, or at the very least become his most trusted assistant. In time, if she proved herself, perhaps. Longbottom did not play favorites, and the only time that his expression grew dark was when someone suggested that he was doing so. So, the most that Miranda had as an advantage over her fellow students was that Professor Longbottom had set her up with her own experimental greenhouse set apart from the others, recognizing that a promising talent should not be stifled. In exchange she was graded on a more difficult rubric than the rest of the class, which included the proper maintenance of her greenhouse’s structure.</p><p>Such a gift was mighty useful for Miranda, and it was also useful for people who wanted to have private conversations. Miranda’s spells of warding had to be strong to prevent people from sneaking in. Not as strong as Sparrow’s, of course, that was a high bar to clear, but solid. Cormac had described attempting to sneak into the private greenhouse and being shoved violently backward by an unseen force.</p><p>So when Sparrow saw Miranda beckon her INTO the private greenhouse, she was taken aback, and wondered for half a second if it wasn’t Jocasta in disguise, playing games again.</p><p>Miranda looked annoyed and beckoned again. Sparrow stepped inside.</p><p>She had only ever seen this particular greenhouse from the outside, and as it had one opaque wall there wasn’t much chance for anyone outside to see what was going on within. So when Sparrow saw the greenhouse’s interior at last, she had little frame of reference for what she was seeing. Whereas the general-access greenhouses had plants Sparrow knew well, this place had specimens she’d never seen mentioned in any library book. And unlike the usual greenhouse, with plants lined up in orderly rows for easy tending on a mass scale, this place was absolutely crammed – one shelf above another and another, obscured by vegetation hanging down on vines and jutting up on stalks, all laden with tufts and tendrils and shimmering fruits and vicious thorns –</p><p>Sparrow felt as though it would be prudent to avoid touching anything, but that was difficult to do in this space, especially since Miranda filled much of it. Sparrow was grateful to be short and slight, or else Miranda might not have invited her in here. She was also not very happy to be short and slight in this circumstance, as she felt even smaller than normal in here compared to Miranda’s towering form.</p><p>And Miranda had her sleeves rolled up. Which made it clear that Jocasta had been right about the girl’s physique. Perhaps years of hauling heavy pots had done it. The girl could have the pick of anyone in the school, if she wanted. Yet Sparrow had never heard of her picking anyone. Why, here was the pretty little Sparrow and Miranda wasn’t even paying attention –</p><p>She shook her head. Too distracting. Everything in here was distracting. She had forgotten what she intended to say. "Um – "</p><p>"You wish to understand the contents of this place?" said Miranda, as she donned a pair of spectacles and bent her face to the stem of a plant covered in red berries.</p><p>"I’ve never really had a good look. I mean – "</p><p>"This one before me is bird berries." Miranda pointed to a spiky plant with golden leaves. "Thunderbird feather." She pointed to a pot full of narrow-bladed tufts. "Bulbous Canarygrass. Among so many. I have set myself so much work. But I must pay attention to these right now, after neglecting them for two days."</p><p>"I’ve never heard of such things."</p><p>"North American plants. Unknown to the Wizards of Britain, or should I say, unknown to its professional circles of potion craft, because none of us cared to look at that continent. I did not need to make any strenuous exhortations to my dear Professor Longbottom to have him agree that we ought to look, but I did need to swear an oath of honor that I would keep any such plants from escaping the greenhouse, and that I would not misuse anything he gave me. Which included this greenhouse. So, there is no student, no person in this school who enters without my permission. And I do not often grant permission, because I have no wish to be distracted."</p><p>"I can imagine." Sparrow looked around at the multitude of specimens she had never known and could not name. "You have to take care of all these things. Because whatever they do, you’ve got a monopoly on them the way Longbottom has a monopoly on the regular stuff."</p><p>"Ah, well. I don’t consider this as a supply or a monopoly. Not yet. I don’t know everything these plants do! For now all I do is experiment, as I did with the fox potion. Foolish, on my part. I wasn’t utterly certain that I would avoid poisoning myself. But I was so very bored with the curriculum."</p><p>"It was my fault you were revealed," said Sparrow. "I’m sorry about that."</p><p>"I do not require your apology," said Miranda. "I think you require mine."</p><p>"For what?"</p><p>"Who do you think helped Jocasta frame you?"</p><p>"I had a pretty damn good idea, Miss McClivert." Sparrow let an edge creep into her voice. "Jocasta isn’t a Metamorphmagus, nor is she so accomplished at potions that she would have any chance of making Polyjuice. Unless, of course, she was aided by a highly competent potioneer who had no qualms about crafting something difficult and dangerous, and that same potioneer had to be a student in order to keep the whole business secret. Have I got it right?"</p><p>Miranda nodded.</p><p>"And now you’re putting a dangerous secret in my hands, leaving me at your mercy, perhaps to bind yourself to me. Hm. I’d like to make this situation mutual, but I can’t think of any dangerous secrets of my own to offer."</p><p>Miranda paused in her examination of the Bird Berry plant, and turned to regard Sparrow with a look of disturbed confusion. "I…can’t quite understand where you are coming from, nor where you are going."</p><p>"I’m just saying – crikey, what am I saying?" She shook her head, trying to clear the edge out of her voice. "Never mind. What was the big idea of all this frame-up anyway?"</p><p>Miranda sighed, and her shoulders slumped. She rested her back against the shelf. "Call it a matter of pride, that let me be led so easily."</p><p>"Pride in what? Cleverness? Trickery?"</p><p>"In potions and herbology. The greatest of all my skills, where my skill with a wand is…lacking. Compared to you."</p><p>"Oh come on, don’t sell yourself short like that. Besides which, I’ve only ever been good at defensive spells. I’m terrible with everything else. Didn’t all your dance partners at the Halloween Ball say anything about that?"</p><p>Miranda shrugged. "They said you were impossible to defeat and always too eager to stand in their defense. They said your shield was unbreakable. None of them said that it was your only great skill. Ah, well." She turned back to her work. "I should have considered, for half a moment, that granting someone polyjuice meant they would impersonate someone. But I did not. For I trusted Jocasta, when she said she wanted to be a fox for a time. I put the danger of my actions out of my head, because I trusted her."</p><p>"You trusted <em>her?</em>"</p><p>"I would like to think I can trust most people. And, well, Jocasta flattered me. She lauded my skill with potions, she told me the fox potion was precisely what she needed. True on both counts, I suppose, if critical details were…conveniently neglected. I suppose, when I think of it, that I am so used to polyjuice potion being used in its two-hour version that using it to impersonate someone for a mere ten minutes never crossed my mind! So, after I told her the potion was a failure for only lasting ten minutes – "</p><p>"Is that a failure?" said Sparrow. "Or is it an untapped possibility?"</p><p>"That is how she described it. So, she convinced me that it was not a failure. She told me I had done what none had done before, to come up with a polyjuice made cheaply, quickly, for a short duration."</p><p>"She was right. Right?"</p><p>"Exactly." Miranda thumbed through the golden leaves of her Thunderbird Feather plant. "All she said was true. I had never seen one word of mention regarding this topic in any potions text I ever read, not even in the work of Zygmunt Budge himself!"</p><p>"Your creativity is one for the history books, then."</p><p>"Oh, please. I have had quite enough of flattery in recent weeks. This whole business was just a matter of pursuing a dormant possibility, as you said. I assume that whoever invented polyjuice in ancient days must have created what I created, in the process of improving the duration. No, I do not need any more flattery."</p><p>"I was thinking of the part where you made it cheap and quick. Isn’t the usual process something to do with moon phases and waiting a month?"</p><p>"Ah, yes. I see what you mean." Miranda had a faraway look in her eyes. "Hm, I wonder if the brewing duration and the effect duration have a direct and linear causal relation…" She shook her head. "File that away for later! The point is, I had not yet come to this conclusion when Jocasta played on my pride. She told me I could do the work again. She told me it would be easy for me, if not for her. That was also true. So, I created the potion once more, told her to find a fox hair, and…didn’t know where I was being led."</p><p>"Did you care?"</p><p>"I cared. Because I thought I was being led towards greater praise. I was eager to show the results of my studies to someone. To make something real. Something new. Something interesting. Something to show people besides a teacher, for reasons other than a grade. Something that would be remembered, instead of being marked with an "O" and then shelved forever. I didn’t think I was betraying my solemn oath. I thought I was moving to the practical phase of my career. So I failed to inform the Professor of my distributing the vial, and shattered my honor. And I nearly got you killed."</p><p>Sparrow looked at the plants around the greenhouse, and sighed. "It wasn’t you who nearly got me killed," said Sparrow. "Only you who helped set me on that path. By pride and by accident. Well." She shrugged. "Perhaps you ought to research healing potions, for the next time that you want to put someone in danger."</p><p>"First of all, I…am currently researching antidotes but not healing potions, thank you for alerting me to a new area of study. Secondly, please understand that I am sorry."</p><p>"I know you’re sorry. I’m just…trying to offer a solution here. You know? It’s worth knowing how to mitigate any potential disasters, especially if you really can’t handle wand work. If I had to demand anything…I mean I could ask you to be more careful but it looks like you’ve already made that choice. So, like, maybe if you want to show people your work, you use it on yourself so that you never let the vial out of your hands? In the short term. I remember Muggles used to have enough of their doctors around that they could do, like, peer review and stuff. You’re trying to be a Lone Genius here and that only gets you so far. Hell, have you been in contact with <em>anyone</em> at Saint Mungo’s?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Any professional potion crafter?"</p><p>"Not directly."</p><p>"Slughorn?"</p><p>"He made me join the slug club instead of giving me detention."</p><p>"Fine! Good! Perfect! Talk to him! Collaborate! Don’t be a flipping Mad Scientist here alright? You were easily led because you were given the chance to stop shutting yourself up. That could have gone really badly if your experiment had terrible physical effects. There’s already enough mortal danger at this castle in the normal course of events. We have a dueling club, for Heaven’s sake. I’m surprised the Hospital wing isn’t eternally busy."</p><p>"We have stairs that change direction at a whim. Compared to that a dueling club is nothing."</p><p>"Stairs aren’t <em>trying</em> to hurt people."</p><p>"Are you sure?"</p><p>Sparrow glanced towards the castle. "Maybe."</p><p>"You know," said Miranda, turning to face Sparrow once more, "I would have invited you in here eventually, even if I hadn’t been an unwitting accomplice to reckless endangerment."</p><p>"How’s that?"</p><p>"I wanted to apologize for not speaking to you sooner. The Fat Lady did relay your message but I was too ashamed of the fox fiasco to contact you. If I had, if we had spoken earlier…maybe you would have been able to avoid being impersonated."</p><p>"Perhaps," said Sparrow. "Jocasta’s a tricky one, you know."</p><p>"And I might have invited you in here anyway even without that sorrow. You, my little bird, have talent and ideas far grander than your miniscule scale."</p><p>"Hey!"</p><p>"Nor do you hide any such ideas, nor cease to find new ones. I knew I had to speak with you eventually."</p><p>"Oh," said Sparrow, "do I have yet another romantic partner in the offering?"</p><p>Miranda chuckled. "My answer remains the same. Let that subject live elsewhere! It is not for my greenhouse. I am all business. I like <em>your</em> business. I like the cut of your jib. That is why I let you into my little world. Feel free to speak with me about any matter of your business or mine."</p><p>Sparrow sighed again. "I would appreciate talking to you about potions sometime. You know how I do with those, and I have big ideas for that subject alone. In the meantime I should be…arriving at today’s Herbology class even later than usual. Oh dear."</p><p>"I guess I’ve caused you trouble again," said Miranda.</p><p>"My fault this time." Sparrow gently extricated herself from the mass of plants, opened the door, and sprinted towards the greenhouse where she was supposed to be.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Professor Longbottom had taken a mere five points from Hufflepuff for her tardiness. Jillian Patil had no ability to take house points from anyone, but she did have the ability to prevent Sparrow from leaving her embrace. Not that Sparrow minded staying on her lap, wrapped in her arms, before the Hufflepuff hearth.</p><p>"I’m not going to venture that far into the Forbidden Forest again," said Sparrow.</p><p>"Can I guarantee that?" said Jill.</p><p>"Maybe," said Cormac, as he strummed his Ukulele. "From what Sparrow tells me, Hagrid would never put her or anyone through that journey again. But there’s no way to prove the whole thing was a frame-up unless Jocasta confesses."</p><p>"A what now?"</p><p>Sparrow glanced at Cormac and shook her head.</p><p>"Jocasta did what, exactly?"</p><p>Goodness, the hearth fire was heating up all of a sudden.</p><p>"Nothing," said Cormac. "Never mind. No idea what I’m talking about."</p><p>Jill released Sparrow from her embrace and stood up, nearly dumping Sparrow onto the floor. "How convenient," she said, "that I have Dueling Club in twenty minutes." She spun around and marched out of the common room before either of her friends could say a word.</p><p>Sparrow dashed out of the common room after her, but by the time she got out the door, Jill had already disappeared.</p><p>Sparrow dashed back into the common room and grabbed Cormac by the arm. "Come on," she said. "Up. We’ve got to catch Jill at the Dueling Club and talk her out of vaporizing Jocasta."</p><p>Cormac didn’t need any cajoling to follow her.</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Retribution</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sparrow goes further down a dark path.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Legend had it that the dueling club had been started by Harry Potter himself, when he knocked Dolores Umbridge tail-over-teakettle into a clump of gorse bushes. Legend had it that the resulting duel had been mighty, but that Umbridge had been at last chased from the castle, shrieking insults all the way and vowing revenge. Legend had it that the students had gathered around Potter and become known as "Dumbledore’s Army", which was the part Sparrow couldn’t figure out, because it should have been Potter’s Army.</p><p>Nevertheless, the school had a dueling club, where it had not possessed one before Potter came along. It was the kind of place where students could take a whack at each other without getting in trouble, so it tended to attract the more valiant and violent types, such as Jillian Patil, Percival Bulstrode, and, of course, Jocasta Carrow.</p><p>The club used to hold its exhibition matches in the Great Hall, having to reserve the space ahead of time, but as a particular disused courtyard had suddenly become nice and warm out of season, everyone had decamped there. It was the sort of place where students felt a little safer watching because it had collonades, which meant people could duck behind a sturdy pillar if need be.</p><p>And here was Jocasta, grinning as she faced off against Jill. Which seemed a trifle foolhardy, for Jill’s face showed a rage that Sparrow had not seen in all her years. Sparrow and Cormac had managed to intercept Jill before she stepped out of the collonade and tried to talk her out of aggravated murder. Jill had said she had no intention of doing such a thing. But with the expression she wore now, Sparrow had to wonder if Jill’s restraint would hold. And so did the audience, who were mostly hiding behind sturdy pieces of stonework. After Guillermo Guzmán had lost an ear last year while sitting close to the stage, it was a reasonable precaution.</p><p>Jocasta and Jill raised their wands, and bowed to each other.</p><p>The duel began with a fireball towards Jocasta’s face. Yet the girl sidestepped it just in time. Likewise a cone of wind she sidestepped like it was nothing. Through Jill’s furious assault, Jocasta weaved like a cat in a crowded hallway.</p><p>Sparrow had not paid attention to the dueling club in years, not since Jocasta had broken her shield. The last time Sparrow knew anything about Jocasta’s skill, it was at the level of being more clever than most – this was far beyond that level. Jocasta had as much finesse as Jill had power. Where Sparrow’s shield was absolute, Jocasta’s was placed deftly, never wasting energy on absorbing all of a spell’s effect but deflecting in a way that, if Jill was foolish enough to try a stunner, would bounce the spell back at her.</p><p>And that was, in fact, just what happened, though on most occasions Jill had the sense to dodge. But something was different this time. Her wand was moving erratically, always pulling left, and not only left. Towards Sparrow.</p><p>In fact – wherever Sparrow stood, Jill’s wand seemed to be pulling directly towards her. Even if she stood way over here –</p><p>Jill went down with one of her own stunning spells.</p><p>"Tsk tsk," said Jocasta. She strode down the dueling platform, knelt at the slumbering form of Jill, and cast a reviving charm upon her. The girl opened her eyes.</p><p>"You need some more finesse," said Jocasta. "Perhaps you will learn eventually, and our duels will be even more impressive." She raised her head to the crowd, who felt safe enough to raise their heads. "Come on, then," she said. "Bulstrode’s ill today and I already beat Greengrass. Does anyone want to give it a go or is the show over?"</p><p>Sparrow stepped out from behind a pillar, and said, "I’m up."</p><p>She came down to where Jocasta and Jill stood. Jill, still recovering from being stunned, was supporting herself on Jocasta’s shoulder. Jocasta passed her off to Sparrow.</p><p>"I’m sorry," said Jill. "All my rage and I still couldn’t avenge you."</p><p>"I think I can avenge myself," said Sparrow. "I’ve got some advice from Hagrid to test."</p><p>"Are you sure you want to try it?" Jill brushed some dust from her robes. "You’re in for a challenge that you might not be able to handle."</p><p>"I’m sure. And – I’m sorry I distracted your wand."</p><p>"Is that what’s going on?"</p><p>"Seems like it. Why did you try the stunning spell anyway? You know those things ricochet."</p><p>"I wanted to overwhelm Jocasta and you told me to hold back. So I had to split the difference."</p><p>Jocasta looked confused. "Is the barrier witch trying to duel?"</p><p>Sparrow glared at Jocasta, and nodded.</p><p>"Surely that is not your domain, my dear. Our match would be terribly boring, would it not? In fact, I remember you saying yourself last year that it would be pointless. You said, as I recall, that hurling hexes at a stone wall is like playing ‘tennis’ alone. But now you wish to duel. Have you, at long last, learned to cast curses of your own? Have my efforts at last paid off?"</p><p>Sparrow stepped up to her end of the dueling platform and raised her wand. "Jocasta Carrow," she said in a clear voice. "I have been informed by your accomplice that you arranged to frame me, and in so doing you sent me into a detention where not only I but Hagrid were both nearly killed."</p><p>Jocasta’s face fell.</p><p>"That aspect, at least, could not have been your fault. You had no way of knowing where Hagrid would take me, nor indeed could he have known just how powerful the beasts of the forest were."</p><p>"Wait, Sparrow, I didn’t actually – "</p><p>"That I am here is owing to Hagrid’s bravery and encouragement of my own abilities, as well as Jill’s encouragement and large repertoire, as well as your own advice regarding the casting of curses, for which I thank you. For the peril I faced, I lay the blame at the feet of everyone, especially everyone who is so concerned about the Statute of Secrecy that it would, by sheer social pressure, and the possibility of overwhelming legal pressure, convince Hagrid to set me a detention that was more drastic than anything I’ve heard of."</p><p>"Where the hell did you <em>go</em>?"</p><p>"The far reaches of the forbidden forest," said Sparrow.</p><p>The crowd gasped.</p><p>Sparrow heard whispers. <em>"Out to the edge!"</em></p><p>
  <em> "Where demonic monsters roam!" </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "Maybe she can tell us what’s out there!" </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "She survived the forbidden forest!"</em>
</p><p>"Oh come off it," said Sparrow to the crowd. "It wasn’t dangerous until the edge. Besides which, if anyone could survive that kind of place, it would be me, wouldn’t it? Anyway." She turned to Jocasta. "Miss Carrow, you were the catalyst of this circumstance. You played the greatest prank upon me that you have ever played, perhaps will ever play. Well done."</p><p>Jocasta bowed.</p><p>"As such, I cannot say that I hate you."</p><p>Jocasta straightened, and said, "Can you at least cast a hex and get this duel going? I haven’t got all day."</p><p>"No," said Sparrow, "my wand will not cast a hex again."</p><p>Jocasta looked exasperated. "Was my work all for nothing then? Why are you even here?"</p><p>"To express my great frustration with your behavior," said Sparrow, "and – "</p><p>As one the crowd roared, "Get on with it!"</p><p>" – And to demonstrate that there is far more to an offense than hexes and curses." She bowed to Jocasta, ducking a jet of red light, straightened up and shouted, "<em>LUMINALOS MAXIMA</em>!"</p><p>A blinding white light erupted from Sparrow’s wand. Sparrow had the forewarning to shut her eyes, but the crowd, and especially Jocasta, did not. Thus blinded, she had no chance to brace herself for Sparrow’s next spell. "<em>Scutum Percutiens</em>!"</p><p>This particular spell was, as ever, a shield – but tilted to an angle of thirty degrees and flying forward as swift as an arrow.</p><p>Pureblood wizards, being shut up in their wizarding world, hear of automobiles and do not often understand them. As such, when they hear of someone being run over by a car, they think that the car ran them over, much as many muggles think. But this is not precisely the case. Cars typically run people under. The car’s general wedge shape, if it is going fast enough, combined with the sudden rise in angle of the windshield, serves to toss the unlucky pedestrian high in the air, whereupon they land hard and die, if the impact of the windshield had not already killed them, or die upon the impact of the next car coming along.</p><p>Jocasta’s circumstance was slightly different. The shield, despite being tilted at the basic angle of an automobile’s slope, had not the sudden rising angle that a windshield presents, but rather a smooth concave curve from one end to the other. Jocasta was effectively tumbled straight into the air, high enough to present a definite injury when she landed.</p><p>And this was what Sparrow counted on. She had noticed that, for all Jocasta had the ability to seemingly vanish by turning into a fly, she had not bothered to do it once during the battle with Jill, despite her opportunities. A fly could be practically invisible when it was moving, and it would have presented her with an immense advantage in terms of battlefield placement and dodging. Yet she had not bothered. Why? Was she intending to show how much better she was than Jill? Did the fly’s fragile form present too much vulnerability? Or did she simply not want to reveal her ability to an assembled crowd?</p><p>Here and now, Jocasta would be forced to make a choice between revealing herself to the crowd, or flying out of the duel and effectively surrendering in disgrace. Which would she choose?</p><p>She chose injury. She came down hard on her right wrist, gritted her teeth, and – did not cry aloud in pain. And yet, when she was helped to stand, Sparrow could see that her arm was bent in a way it should not be.</p><p>And that was it. The duel was over.</p><p>No one said a word as Jocasta was led off to the hospital wing. They just looked at Sparrow in confusion and fear.</p><p>And as they shuffled out, Sparrow stood there, wand arm limp at her side. She stared off into the far distance and said not a word, for in the moment of Jocasta’s injury, Sparrow realized what she had done to herself. She had broken more than bone.</p><p>And though everyone involved tonight had every reason to fear Sparrow now, they had no idea that they deserved to be disgusted with her.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>The fireplace was just as the three young Wizards had left it, save for the logs burning down. The seat cushion still had an impression where Cormac had sat. His ukulele was still on the table beside. But, even though he took up his instrument, he did not sit down. Nor did Sparrow. Only Jill set herself down in front of the hearth.</p><p>Nor did Cormac look at Sparrow, though she stood beside him.</p><p>She did not have to ask him what was the matter.</p><p>"She could have landed on her head," said Cormac.</p><p>"I am well aware," said Sparrow.</p><p>"But you tossed her into the air anyway?"</p><p>"I am well aware now."</p><p>"So you can claim you didn’t understand what you were doing?"</p><p>Sparrow sighed. "That would not excuse me. Tonight, Cormac, I have done the worst thing I have ever done. Let it be the worst thing I ever do."</p><p>For a moment, no one spoke, but remained watching the fire.</p><p>Then Cormac finally let himself meet Sparrow’s gaze. "Explain."</p><p>"Short version," said Sparrow. "I broke a personal vow and might as well have broken my spine."</p><p>Cormac looked disturbed. "Explain more?"</p><p>"Longer version, I’ll tell you on some moonlit night."</p><p>"Fine," said Cormac. "Just…I’ve got a lot to explain on that front as well. So. Maybe I’ll tell you on some moonlit night. Short version is, I’ve seen people die from lesser blows."</p><p>Now it was Sparrow’s turn to look disturbed. "You…have seen? As in, right in front of you?"</p><p>"Right in front of me. Like I said, long story. Not for now. I don’t want to talk to you right now. I don’t know what you’ve become."</p><p>"Cormac – "</p><p>"Bad night all around." Cormac turned and departed, stomping up the stairs.</p><p>At long last, Jill turned around. Sparrow would have expected that her expression would have been lost in the silhouette, but then, her face was always just visible even in darkness, and her eyes looked like they were reflecting some light source, though the only real light in the room was behind her. So Sparrow could see that Jill’s face was showing not disgust, nor even disappointment, as she expected, but pure concern.</p><p>"I will admit," said Jill, "even I didn’t think you’d go that far."</p><p>"Would you have gone that far?"</p><p>"Oh, I don’t know. If I didn’t know Jocasta so well, if I knew it was a duel to the death, if you’d been gravely injured out there in the forest – maybe. I’d like to think I could hold myself back. But I wonder. I always wonder."</p><p>Sparrow stared into the fire, and said nothing.</p><p>Jill stood. "I would wish you good night," she said. "But the most I can wish is a good rest of your night. Tell you what, have a good tomorrow."</p><p>She turned and departed, making no sound as she ascended the stairs to the Girls Dormitory.</p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>Cormac didn’t speak to Sparrow for the next week.</p><p>But she didn’t feel like she deserved to speak with him in any case.</p><p>Or with anyone. And yet – Jill was always there, at an arm’s length. At the length of Sparrow’s arm, in fact. Whether it be in class, or at table, or in front of the fire.</p><p>They would sit in front of the fire, and speak little, of small things, brief things that were of only passing import – and after a while Sparrow would fall silent, for when it came to speaking of weighty matters, well – she didn’t have the spine to hold them up now, did she?</p><p>"You slouch so much," said Jill, as she put a log on the fire.</p><p>"I no longer have a backbone," said Sparrow.</p><p>"Can I be your backbone?"</p><p>"You didn’t want to get too close to me."</p><p>"True enough! But I can do my best." Jill reached her arm behind Sparrow, and touched her spine lightly with one finger. "I can still try to take care of you."</p><p>"Even if I’m a mean little oath-breaker?"</p><p>"Oath!" said Jill. "What <em>is</em> that oath anyway? Can you even tell me?"</p><p>"I swore I would never let anyone come to harm on my watch."</p><p>Jill sucked air through her teeth. "I can see how you would feel awful now, then. To not only let your oath lapse, but to be the source of violence…still, it is good that you are remorseful."</p><p>Sparrow shrugged.</p><p>"And such a heavy oath to swear, at age eleven?"</p><p>"Eight."</p><p>"Eight. What on earth happened that would cause an eight-year-old child to swear an oath like that? And why did you never tell me?"</p><p>"Because I couldn’t," said Sparrow. "Can’t. Not yet."</p><p>"Not even me?"</p><p>"It involves words I cannot say. Not yet. But…on a moonlit night, in the proper place…I think I can."</p><p>"I await your tale," said Jill. "Whenever you wish to tell it. You know…eight years old is an odd coincidence."</p><p>"Oh?"</p><p>"That’s when my life went to hell as well."</p><p>"Jill – "</p><p>"Later!" said Jill. "Later! Let’s save it for a moonlit night, eh?"</p><p>"Best time for anything," said Sparrow. She turned to Jill. "Can I hold your hand?"</p><p>"I’m okay with that." Jill took Sparrow’s hand in hers.</p><p>"Are you…comfortable dancing with me tomorrow night?"</p><p>"At a certain distance," said Jill. "It’s not…look. I’m sorry I’m being distant. I’m sorry I find it difficult to express why. Just know that it’s not your fault. Alright?"</p><p>"I understand," said Sparrow.</p><p>And so they remained there, hand in hand, for a long time into the evening.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. December Dance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Jocasta encounters an unexpected confession, and Sparrow encounters everyone again.</p>
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    <p>The second festivity of the year was the Yule Ball.</p><p>In years past, a ball at this time of year had chiefly been a feature of the Triwizard Tournament. And indeed, when the tournament was on, every once in a while, the ball was quite spectacular, with not a few different bands invited to perform, and all manner of decorations. The normal December dance was more subdued, with illusory snow falling throughout the hall, and silver candles, and sky-blue draperies, and a nice, sedate chamber orchestra playing somber winter music.</p><p>It would have been better if any of the children fully understood what snow was, but Flutwick was hidebound in his own way, and anyway having rain fall throughout the hall would have put quite the damper on things. So, instead of being an accurate representation of the season it was a reminder of what had been lost.</p><p>This time around, Jill came along with Cormac and Sparrow to the dance. She danced with Cormac and with Violet for some time, and then with Sparrow. Jill was wearing a marvelous royal blue gown that shimmered silvery in the candlelight. It put Sparrow’s plain purple sleeveless gown to shame.</p><p>They did not dance for long before Jill said, "I daresay you should be moving on."</p><p>"Aw, Jill, come on. Are you putting yourself at a distance from me again?"</p><p>"I assume you very much wish to be moving on," said Jill, "because you are desperate to make certain apologies."</p><p>"Oh. Well. Yes. You know me so well."</p><p>Jill grinned. "And you are torn."</p><p>"Is it that obvious?"</p><p>"It’s all over your face, my dear. Go on, then! You have your task to complete."</p><p>"No, my sweet love! Do not banish me!"</p><p>"I banish thee! For this evening. But I will be here waiting, as long as you need."</p><p>And so Sparrow found herself waiting on the sidelines for one of her friends to be available.</p><p>She caught Cormac’s eye, and took the opportunity to cut in, somewhat to the chagrin of Violet, who waltzed away with a stranger. Cormac watched her go with a sigh.</p><p>"You have eyes for her?" said Sparrow.</p><p>"Of a sort," said Cormac. "Mostly I was…enjoying the opportunity to be in her company. She’s been so busy studying something lately."</p><p>"And that stops you?"</p><p>"She won’t tell me what it is this time!"</p><p>"Good heavens," said Sparrow. "It must be something big and secret if she won’t even tell <em>you</em>."</p><p>"What do you mean, even me?"</p><p>"Never mind," said Sparrow. "Shall we dance?"</p><p>"Let’s boogie," said Cormac.</p><p>"Let’s what?" said Sparrow.</p><p>"Let’s boogie. You know? The dance?"</p><p>"There’s a dance named after bogies?" said Sparrow. "That’s disgusting."</p><p>"No, it’s – you mean bogey like the monster?"</p><p>"No I mean pick-your-nose bogie!"</p><p>"Ohhhhhhh," said Cormac. "<em>Booger.</em> Alright. Let’s booger."</p><p>"Never mind!" said Sparrow. "Let’s…why are you being so casual with me now anyway?"</p><p>"Because you’re being casual with me?" said Cormac. "Because you’re my friend?"</p><p>"I thought I had lost that privilege."</p><p>"Privilege!" said Cormac. "You do me such honor."</p><p>"More than I did before," said Sparrow. "I’m sorry that I horrified you back at the duel."</p><p>"Ah, well." Cormac smiled. "You thought that was enough to lose my friendship forever eh?"</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"Think better of me, dear friend. I have missed your conversation this week. So let us dance."</p><p>And so they waltzed over the floor, with a better understanding this time of who was leading whom. Their dance was less awkward than it had been.</p><p>For a while neither said anything. But when Cormac opened his mouth to speak, Sparrow got there first. "I have resolved," she said, "to apologize to Jocasta."</p><p>"I was just about to ask."</p><p>"And I am sorry for taking revenge against her in a way that…reminded you of bad old times."</p><p>"I told you to keep your response to her actions honest and proportional," said Cormac. "Didn’t try to talk you out of it completely. And you were completely honest that night in the courtyard. We just…had different interpretations of what was proportional."</p><p>"Ah, well. Proportional, maybe. Honest? No. I don’t think I was entirely honest. Now, I assume you wish to dance more with Violet? I must be going to find Jocasta."</p><p>But as she spun away from Cormac, she spun into the arms of Miranda, clad in a suit that shimmered blue and silver. That was pleasant enough for the time being.</p><p>And so Miranda McClivert led Sparrow in a slow waltz once more. For a while neither spoke, and Sparrow felt a similar tension as she had felt with Cormac. Two people with a not-completely-resolved conflict between them, somehow managing to dance together, wishing to smooth over such breaks, yet fearing the first words would open the break again.</p><p>They spun over the dance floor, and passed by Cormac dancing with Violet. He winked at her. The two spun around so that Violet was facing them. She also winked. Well, nothing for it then.</p><p>"How many people have you danced with so far?" said Sparrow.</p><p>"Enough," said Miranda. "Do you wish to hear what they say of you?"</p><p>"Don’t tell me you went around asking about me again!"</p><p>Miranda laughed. "Oh, no. That was hardly necessary. The whispers are flying, little Sparrow. You could hear them yourself without moving very far, if you wished. But you could just as easily go around to all the people of our little world, and know at last what they wished to say to you."</p><p>"I could," said Sparrow. "I hadn’t thought of it. But considering what I have done…I would not think any of them would wish to speak with me."</p><p>"Whyever not?"</p><p>Sparrow described her actions in the duel against Jocasta. Upon hearing what had happened to the girl, Miranda grinned.</p><p>"Ahem," said Sparrow. "Considering how much damage I did to myself with that incident, I am not pleased to see your approval."</p><p>Miranda’s smile vanished. "Damage?"</p><p>"I broke a solemn promise to myself, and I wonder, now, if I can stand for any principle."</p><p>"Ah," said Miranda. "And this promise, what might it be?"</p><p>"Long story," said Sparrow.</p><p>"Have you ever told anyone about it?"</p><p>"Ah…no."</p><p>"So nobody besides you understands the enormity of your actions?"</p><p>"Yyyyyyyes? No? I don’t actually know how to -- "</p><p>"Did you swear this oath to anyone at all besides yourself."</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Then, if you would apologize to them, you only need apologize for how you made them fear. Nor for the vow you broke. That is clearly a personal matter."</p><p>"For now. But…would they even let me approach, that I could apologize? I fear I could not bear to look into their eyes."</p><p>"I think you will find that they are easier to approach than you think. And you, you who managed to face the unbeatable Jocasta Carrow and toss her into the air, you who made it to the edge of the Forbidden Forest and back, you have not enough courage to look into the eyes of your fellows? You scorn yourself too much, girl. Me, I trade on my height, and my fearsome reputation as a mysterious distant figure, and I intimidate people into dancing with me as often as I dance with those who find me attractive. I know I scare many. Yet you were very well able to confront me about my transgression, in the middle of my domain, without a trace of hesitation. Do not be so intimidated by your peers. You are the bold Sparrow Jones. Did you forget that?"</p><p>"I might have," said Sparrow. "These days I wonder if I am bold or if I am foolhardy. Maybe I’ll follow your advice eventually. Maybe I’ll do so now. Very well! I must leave you, friend Miranda, and make what apologies I ought to."</p><p>"Friend?"</p><p>"Friend." She spun away from Miranda, and, one by one, danced with as many students as she could, inquiring each as to their name, asking after their knowledge of the particular duel, and, where relevant, apologizing for her conduct, and swearing that intimidating the student body was the opposite of what she wished to do.</p><p>This particular apology, and accompanying oath, was extended to everyone Sparrow danced with that evening, for by now, all had heard of the events of Sparrow’s duel, and very many people were indeed disturbed to think that Miss Interfering Busybody would be the sort to cause someone injury after all. So for most of those who danced with Sparrow, they were taken aback to hear a heartfelt apology for such conduct so quickly. Sparrow left many people wondering what had just happened, as she moved on to one dance partner after another.</p><p>Sparrow had just begun a dance with a second-year student named Melodius Figgle when a familiar pale girl, wearing her customary black gown, appeared beside her, and said, "May I cut in?"</p><p>Sparrow apologized to Melodius, and, before Jocasta could say anything further, Sparrow held one of her hands and had the other on her waist. And so they waltzed through the crowd, eyes upon each other.</p><p>For a while, neither spoke, and Sparrow felt a great tension as she had twice before – this time, the tension between two people who have greatly wronged each other, and have neither of them mustered the courage to apologize, much less atone.</p><p>At last Jocasta spoke. "You have been making some most unusual conversation tonight."</p><p>"Have I?" said Sparrow. "Is an apology unusual?"</p><p>"Some would say so," said Jocasta. "Cynical people who think no one can learn or change. But in this case, no one here is used to the idea of someone going around apologizing for her conduct personally – much less for something so trivial! One would think you were overstating the case to make yourself feel more important."</p><p>"Come now," said Sparrow. "I daresay they have good reason to fear me. For I, who wished to be their protector, who have held up my shield in their defense time and again, have now wielded that same shield as a weapon. I fear that if I indulge in such behavior further, I could become dangerous."</p><p>"Ah yes," said Jocasta. "The great protector, now confusing, unpredictable, capricious. <em>Dangerous.</em>"</p><p>"And I do not wish to be."</p><p>"Sparrow, it was a duel. People get injured in duels."</p><p>"And I do not get involved," growled Sparrow. "What I did to you…what I did to everyone…I understand that it looks trivial from an outside perspective. But inside? Inside I’m breaking down here."</p><p>"So that’s why you went overboard with the apologies?"</p><p>"What do you mean, overboard!"</p><p>"I mean, I don’t think anyone really cares as much as you think. They still talk to you in the halls right?"</p><p>"Um…I don’t know. I haven’t said much of anything to anyone this week."</p><p>Jocasta brought their dance to a halt, sighed, and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Okay. So you don’t actually know if anyone actually hates you."</p><p>"They said they were disturbed!"</p><p>"And you think that means they hate you forever? You think that’s all it takes?"</p><p>"Maybe?"</p><p>"Sounds like you have a low opinion of them."</p><p>"Well…"</p><p>"Or a low opinion of yourself, apparently. No idea why when you’re the sweet little guardian spirit of the school. Oh, I know. You’re not <em>perfect</em> anymore. You fell from Olympus and you think being on earth means you’re in Erebus."</p><p>"I do demand perfection of myself," growled Sparrow.</p><p>Jocasta grinned from ear to ear. "I <em>knew</em> it!"</p><p>"Not for all," said Sparrow. "But for the one thing I swore to do? The singular oath that has kept my heart alive all these years, more than anything else?"</p><p>"More than anything…Sparrow, for heaven’s sake, what about Jill!"</p><p>"What about..." Sparrow’s eyes grew wide. "Oh my goodness, you’re right. I’m so sorry."</p><p>"Don’t apologize to me," said Jocasta. "Apologize to her."</p><p>"Alright, I’ll just –"</p><p>"<em>After</em> we finish dancing." She took Sparrow by the hand and drew her close. "Not done with you yet, songbird."</p><p>And so they waltzed over the dance floor, more in sync than before.</p><p>After a few minutes without speaking much, Jocasta cleared her throat and said, "You mentioned my accomplice. When did she speak to you?"</p><p>"When I passed by her greenhouse," said Sparrow.</p><p>"When you..." Jocasta’s eyes grew wide. "Oh! Wrong accomplice! Wait, I shouldn’t have said that much."</p><p>"What do you mean, <em>wrong</em>?"</p><p>"I mean I wouldn’t call her an accomplice when she didn’t have full knowledge of what she was doing!" said Jocasta. "Why do you?"</p><p>"Because she did. She feels really bad about the whole thing. You used her. She feels like a dupe."</p><p>"Well she is. I mean – I mean I duped her. That’s my fault."</p><p>"So, what about this other accomplice then?"</p><p>"Never mind."</p><p>"Jocasta."</p><p>"Okay fine! You want to know what happened? I dropped the damn potion."</p><p>"Then how did – "</p><p>"I had to get someone else to fill in for me at the last minute. Don’t ask who. She’ll speak to you when she’s ready, and give her apology then."</p><p>"Fine," said Sparrow. "I await her whenever she is ready. But speaking of which – I have my apology to make to you."</p><p>"Oh?" Jocasta raised her eyebrows. "To me? But you have apologized hundreds of times already this evening for knocking me arse-over-teakettle."</p><p>"I have," said Sparrow. "Yet I have not apologized to you, specifically. I must apologize for my intentions."</p><p>"Oh. Alright, so…what sort of sword are you laying at my feet here? Were you intending to defend your beloved?"</p><p>"Kind of. I mean, Jill and I aren’t on right now. I’m not sure if or when we will be."</p><p>"You aren’t – oh! Well, ho ho ho! That’s just perfect for – "</p><p>"My intentions were to force you to reveal yourself as an animagus in front of everyone."</p><p>Upon this news, Jocasta’s face fell. "Well," she said. "That’s, um."</p><p>"Um?"</p><p>Jocasta sighed. "You are <em>such</em> a Hufflepuff."</p><p>"Excuse me?"</p><p>"First of all – you have this wonderful devious little plan to take your great adversary down for the sake of revenge, and you feel bad about it later, that’s fair enough, we all do that. But then you go right up to them and <em>apologize for it</em>? If I tell this to people in Slytherin their heads will explode."</p><p>"From what I’ve read," said Sparrow, "Helga Hufflepuff valued honesty and loyalty."</p><p>"And Salazar Slytherin valued cunning and ambition. A properly devious person would only apologize if it furthered their ambitions."</p><p>"And you think I’m not doing that right now?"</p><p>"What, by being transparent?"</p><p>"By being honest. Miranda repaired her relationship with me through honesty. Now I wish to do the same for you. I need you in my good graces, Jocasta, for the months when we can see the full moon."</p><p>"We – oh. Oh. Yes. Ahem. Perhaps you shouldn’t have told me even that much."</p><p>"And more to the point," said Sparrow, "In such an arrangement I need to be certain that I am holding onto myself. I have been disturbed, of late, to think that I might be adopting a cynical attitude to match yours. Nor do I ever wish to be violent. That is not who I am. I am a Hufflepuff, honest, loyal and kind, and more to the point, I am Sparrow Jones."</p><p>"How…characteristically idealistic."</p><p>"Also practical. I keep thinking that if I turn into a flea then I would only think flea thoughts. I would have to be able to hold onto myself then. Might as well get in some practice now, especially when I’m so close to losing myself. Am I…correct about having to think human thoughts?"</p><p>"Pretty close to the mark," said Jocasta, as she twirled Sparrow around. "But in regards to idealism – I never got to my second point."</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"Your wand is hornbeam?"</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"The most principled of wand woods?"</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"Alright, I really think you’re being overly self-critical here."</p><p>"But – "</p><p>"If your wand let you do what you intended to do, then it approved of your actions in the moment. You are being more of a stuck-up prissy bitch than your own wand."</p><p>"Am I?" said Sparrow. "I who was fully prepared to take the great secret you gave me, and reveal it to all? <em>That’s</em> the big deal here, right now. <em>That’s</em> what I did to you. I do <em>not</em> care if you think you are still my adversary. I almost destroyed a good relationship."</p><p>"Good? I sent you into the Forbidden Forest and nearly to your death! I thought <em>I</em> destroyed a good relationship!"</p><p>"Oh," said Sparrow, "does this mean we are no longer adversaries?"</p><p>"I didn’t say that."</p><p>"Is that why you didn’t decide to take your revenge upon me over this week?"</p><p>"Correct," said Jocasta. "I was an idiot, so. Fair’s fair. I’d say we’re even right now."</p><p>"I’m not keeping score here!"</p><p>"Oh right." Jocasta rolled her eyes. "You’re so <em>gracious.</em> I bet you don’t even think I might just decide to burn my entire life down by giving our little animagus game away myself."</p><p>"Well you’re not an idiot."</p><p>"I sent you into the forbidden forest! How am I not an idiot?"</p><p>"You didn’t!" said Sparrow. "Hagrid did! That was his idea, his fault, and I’m the idiot who followed him even when I didn’t have to! I told you that you had no idea where Hagrid would take me!"</p><p>"Yes I did!" said Jocasta. "He always does detention in the Forbidden Forest! I knew exactly what I was doing!"</p><p>"Okay fine. So you understood and acted on information you remembered. You’re smart. You’re not an idiot."</p><p>"But – "</p><p>"You’re a jerk but you’re smart. Like, really."</p><p>"I’m not – "</p><p>"Remind me who always gets top marks in Transfiguration despite the fact that Professor Wimble lectures more than he teaches?"</p><p>"Me." Jocasta snorted. "But, come on. Transfiguration is easy."</p><p>"Easy! Jocasta, it’s one of the most difficult courses at this school! You know how hard it is to hold an image <em>that clearly</em> in your head while you’re casting a spell?"</p><p>Jocasta looked puzzled. "It’s really that hard?"</p><p>"<em>Yes!</em>"</p><p>"Ah ha. Well. Thank goodness <em>I’ll</em> be teaching you about becoming an animagus, then. You wouldn’t want to have any old nitwit giving you the wrong instructions."</p><p>"Exactly. You’re already so confident in your ability with a difficult skill that you think little of teaching it to other people. You got smarts, kid. Don’t ever call yourself an idiot."</p><p>Jocasta snorted. "Fine. As long as you stop thinking that you’re an awful person forever for making one mistake. That is <em>so</em> annoying."</p><p>"Even a big mistake?"</p><p>"Bigger mistakes take more apology," said Jocasta, "but yes."</p><p>"Believe that of yourself, then."</p><p>"You – damn, you got me there. So let’s say I’m not an idiot. But what if I’m <em>evil</em>? What if I decide to stab you in the back?"</p><p>"You’re a Slytherin," said Sparrow.</p><p>"Precisely." Jocasta grinned wickedly. "The house of evil, yes?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>Jocasta looked puzzled again. "No?"</p><p>"The house of wickedness. Not evil."</p><p>"But aren’t they – "</p><p>"Wicked as in rebellion. Sometimes selfish rebellion, sometimes not. But a little rebellion is usually a good thing, yes?" She smiled sweetly.</p><p>"Well it’s – why are you smiling so innocently when you’re saying such things? Oh, right. You’re just the sort of person to rebel against your government in the name of great justice. And yet…to make use of someone like me?"</p><p>"Someone clever?" said Sparrow.</p><p>"Yes, but –"</p><p>"Maybe I’m being <em>very</em> nice," said Sparrow. "Because I’m a sweet widdle angle."</p><p>"You are that, yes. Fallen from grace, but yes. Look, will you get to the point?"</p><p>"Slytherin is supposed to be the house of ambition," said Sparrow. "The house of striving. That doesn’t have to be evil. It all depends upon where your ambition takes you, and whether you treat people kindly on the journey. Maybe you think your ambition requires stepping on other people…I think that’s where people confuse your house with evil. But if the whole thing hadn’t been started by a pureblood supremacist jerk, then – "</p><p>"Then more people would be able to see what good comes of my house," said Jocasta. "Hard to ignore a thousand years of blood-purity bullshit, though."</p><p>"I’m doing it."</p><p>"A muggleborn," said Jocasta. "Ignoring everything about how Slytherin House is stuffed full of rich kids."</p><p>"Of course!" said Sparrow. "I’m an ignorant newcomer! Why, I just don’t know a gosh darn thing about these Wizards!"</p><p>Jocasta looked less than impressed. "Sparrow, nobody’s going to buy that when you’ve managed to master every defensive spell in the book."</p><p>"But they will buy that I am sweetly naïve."</p><p>"Oh yes," said Jocasta. "They definitely will."</p><p>"But getting back to the matter," said Sparrow. "It sounds as though you value ambition, yes?"</p><p>"Undoubtedly."</p><p>"Then it’s even less likely that you would burn your life down to spite me."</p><p>"<em>Less</em> likely?"</p><p>"This quest is all about ambition, yes?"</p><p>"Mmmmmmmostly." Jocasta looked away.</p><p>"Well. Considering my current lack of talents in the area of transfiguration, the journey to become an animagus is a great ambition of mine. Not the greatest, but close. I am eager to see it through. I believe that Miranda will be eager to aid me on this quest as well, considering the ingredients that the potion requires. More to the point, this was <em>your</em> idea from the start, <em>your</em> ambition, <em>your</em> soul in play. If you were to attempt to foil my ambition, you would foil yours, and gain nothing."</p><p>"Oh, um – "</p><p>"Unless, perhaps, you were the type of person who thought that ambition meant stepping on people after all, such that you accompany me on a great challenge, then betray me at the final moment in order to secure the prize for yourself alone. I have considered such a possibility, and decided that it makes no sense for the current effort, because you’re working towards your goal through me. My achievement <em>is</em> your prize."</p><p>"I see," said Jocasta. "You’re definitely not naïve then."</p><p>"If you take me down, you go down with me. Not as a matter of each of us blackmailing the other, but as a matter of your own heart breaking."</p><p>"Oh, my dear Sparrow." Jocasta sighed. "You believe in integrity so much. But some people do not care for such a thing, did you know that?"</p><p>"They…don’t?"</p><p>"I have heard many tales of people betraying their closest friends and dearest wishes for the sake of gaining temporal power."</p><p>"Well you’re not one of those people."</p><p>"Oh," said Jocasta. "But what if I’ve been lying to you this entire time? What if it was never about teaching you to be an animagus? What if it’s all an illusion?"</p><p>Sparrow looked Jocasta dead in the eye. "That’s not you. You don’t have it in you to be that cruel."</p><p>"You…still trust me? After everything I’ve done?"</p><p>"I trust you with this, at least. And I am offering you a chance to atone for your own transgressions. I do detect some regret in your voice."</p><p>Jocasta chuckled. "Let enemies work together, then. I would ask to shake hands on it, but we are already holding hands."</p><p>Sparrow drew her dancing partner close, and looked her square in the eye. "My dear Miss Carrow. You have been a vexing adversary. But you are in no way my enemy."</p><p>Jocasta pouted. "But I worked so hard!"</p><p>"You tried. You nearly succeeded. Yet through it all, I have known that you were trying to help me. Even when it became a fiasco in the forbidden forest, your advice was part of what saved me. And you were the one who put your secret in my hands to begin with, weeks ago, because you trusted me. I feel like…you never actually wanted to be a real enemy."</p><p>"Once upon a time," said Jocasta. "I might have. In our first year here…you were so stuck-up, so goody-goody, so righteous, so…holier-than-thou. So protective. I hated you then. For being so much better than me."</p><p>"What changed your mind?"</p><p>"You never attacked me," said Jocasta. "Not once, in any manner of retaliation. Not a single curse, not a single hex, nothing. You stood against everything I did to you, everything I tried to do, all forthright and noble and…without a hint of revenge. I could never bring you down to earth."</p><p>"Until now," said Sparrow.</p><p>"Until now."</p><p>"And yet I haven’t…lowered your opinion of me?"</p><p>"Too late for that," said Jocasta. "I know you too well now. Too easy to forgive you. I mean – I mean that’s what happens with friends sometimes right? You give them more slack than strangers."</p><p>Sparrow’s smile was practically bright enough to light up the room. "<em>Friends?</em>"</p><p>"Yes. No! Never mind!" Jocasta shook her head. "You’re not my enemy anymore alright? Leave it at that!"</p><p>"Alright, <em>buddy.</em>"</p><p>"Shut up!"</p><p>Sparrow giggled. "Well, I’m sorry that I finally treated you like a real enemy at the dueling club. And deliberately risked shattering your trust. I was…you could see I was furious."</p><p>"Everyone could," said Jocasta. "It seems that it takes an entire Forbidden Forest to reveal your wrath."</p><p>"As if that was all!" said Sparrow. "If all that happened was I walked into some bushes, then I would have been content to let you look like a fool pounding my shield and getting nowhere. No, I was taking revenge for something few people know about, least of all you. You put me in a position to open an old wound from a time long before we met, from an incident I have never described. I was answering my own pain by giving some of it to you."</p><p>"Terror of…something worse than the Forbidden Forest?"</p><p>"Immeasurably worse. What you have done to me this December, what happened to me out there in the wild, none of that compares to what I have already experienced before I came to this school."</p><p>"What did you – "</p><p>"Someday I will place all my trust in you, and you will hear the full story. But only if you set out with me, on the journey you set for me. Not before then."</p><p>"My my," said Jocasta. "Sealing the bargain by appealing to my curiosity. Very well, my dear, it shall be done. As for the actual likely effect of your actions – you have imagined, first of all, that the students <em>could</em> see a teeny little fly at such a distance…and that I am, in fact, an unregistered animagus."</p><p>"Are you?"</p><p>Jocasta sucked air through her teeth. "That’s actually an open question. Even I don’t know how to describe it in short form."</p><p>"How the hell do you not know?"</p><p>"It’s a strange tale of attempted deceit," said Jocasta. "You shall hear the full tale only after I am certain that you will set out on your journey."</p><p>"Does that mean I apologized for nothing?"</p><p>"Hardly!" Jocasta drew away from Sparrow, and spun around. "You have salvaged your conscience, shored up your integrity and strengthened the relationship between us. That’s something. On the other hand, the way you’re going about it…does remind me a bit of my father. All this high-and mighty rhetoric just because you don’t fully trust me."</p><p>"Should I?"</p><p>"I’d like you to. It would make a nice contrast to home life. There’s your reason that I won’t betray you. Not because you hold curiosity over my head, not because I value ambition, but because I’m already sick of plotting and conniving."</p><p>"The merry prankster, sick of conniving? Who would have thought."</p><p>"There’s a difference between pranks and what my father does. You don’t know what it’s like to have people try to tear you down deliberately because they think it will hone your skills. Wait. Goddamit. That’s what I did, didn’t I? I’m turning into my father after all. Look – " She drew close to Sparrow again, pulling her into an embrace, and said softly, "You are good at stopping yourself from going down a dark road. Don’t let me go down that road either."</p><p>"The way you joke about things makes it sound like you’re already going down that road."</p><p>"A thin veneer. Please. You value protection. Protect both of us from that dark road."</p><p>"Protect…you?"</p><p>"You have turned away from what you did to me. Turn away from scorn, be it for you or for me. Be a soft place to land. You have been bold, you have been intimidating far above your stature. Keep in mind that those who seek your protection may also be seeking warmth. Do not forget that. Promise me you won’t forget that."</p><p>"Oh, now you’re talking all dramatic?"</p><p>"Promise me."</p><p>Sparrow sighed. "You have my word."</p><p>"Good." Jocasta backed away. "Good. And if we work together I won’t hit you with any more pranks. Except for one."</p><p>"What would that be?"</p><p>Sparrow suddenly felt a curious chill upon the small of her back. She turned. There was an oval of purple fabric on the floor. "Why you – "</p><p>"That old thing was so frumpy," said Jocasta. "I figured I could improve it. Ta-ta, dearie." She disappeared into the crowd.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>After a while there were few students left at the dance.</p><p>Even among a crowd, Jill would have stood out in the space, but now that it was only her and a few others, she was impossible to miss.</p><p>And so Sparrow took her by the hand, and, without a word, they began a slow waltz.</p><p>Soon enough they were the only students left, and soon after that, the musicians were gone, and Professor Flutwick began to snuff the candles one by one.</p><p>But as the darkness increased, bit by bit, Sparrow and Jill kept up their dance. For in the darkness, they could still see each other without trouble. And the only music they needed was each other.</p><p>At long last, Professor Sinistra bade them leave the hall, and return to their Dormitory. As they made their way through the halls, Jill remained at an arm’s length from Sparrow. But she never got any farther away than that.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. The Ambition</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sparrow gets some sage advice, but it does not prevent her from saying too much to too many.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was but a day left before the Christmas break, when students would be going home. Sparrow debated whether she should go, and be with her family, or stay with the castle’s few orphans.</p><p>It would be more convenient for her to study the history of magic, if she could do it without anyone walking in on her in the library. And perhaps she could ask the ghosts without being overheard, for once. Yet by the same token, her parents expected her home, and she had not actually made any arrangements with the school to remain over the holidays.</p><p>She was torn, and there was less than a day to decide, and she had things to do on this particular day that might land her in trouble with the headmistress anyway. For she had taken Jill’s advice to heart, about thinking of others, and she had taken Hagrid’s advice to heart, about the sheer dangers of the Wizarding world. She had to research, extensively, before acting in any direction.</p><p>Hagrid had also said that she could not ask the teachers. But he said nothing about the ghosts, nor, indeed, the headmistress.</p><p>So, Sparrow found herself standing outside the statue that barred the way to the Headmistress’ office. What was the password this time? "Potter," said Sparrow. Nope. "Granger." Nope. "Weasley." Nuh-uh. "Fiddlesticks."</p><p>She looked around, hoping to find a teacher who had business with the Headmistress. There was only a cat, with markings around its eyes in the shape of spectacles. "Oh hello Headmistress," said Sparrow, and turned to the statue. "Where was I? Longbottom. Hagrid. Moody. Wait – "</p><p>The cat meowed, and the statue stepped aside.</p><p>"You call that security?" said Sparrow. "Anyone who brings a cat could get in."</p><p>"I am the security," said McGonagall, as she swept by. "And from what I hear of your capabilities, someday you may be the security for the school."</p><p>She had not beckoned Sparrow to follow, but the girl did so anyway.</p><p>McGonagall turned. "What exactly is it that you want?"</p><p>"Your own experiences regarding the Statute of Secrecy."</p><p>"Hasn’t Hagrid forbidden that subject for you?"</p><p>"It didn’t stop me."</p><p>"Didn’t you have a detention regarding that very subject?"</p><p>"Yeah and if anyone had bothered to explain to me why we need the statute I wouldn’t have had to go all the way to the edge of the forbidden forest and nearly get killed. I would appreciate understanding the nature of the statute instead of having to absorb it. And you’re old –"</p><p>McGonagall huffed.</p><p>" -- so you have more experience than I do. And I figured that the office of the Headmistress would be a safer place to talk about it than echoing halls. What do you say?"</p><p>"I say, what is the magic word?"</p><p>"Please?"</p><p>"Step into my office."</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>The portraits of the headmasters were mostly awake this morning.</p><p>"If it isn’t Sparrow Jones," said the portrait of Albus Dumbledore. "The girl who keeps sneaking out at night, or so the other paintings tell me."</p><p>"Is that so," said the Headmistress, taking a book off her shelf. "I recall having to punish some students severely for such behavior. And you’re doing it repeatedly. Shall we test to see if house points can go negative?"</p><p>"We could," said Sparrow. "But it sounds as though Filch hasn’t been telling you and the portraits haven’t told you. It sounds as though you have a discipline problem at this school, and not with me."</p><p>"Ooh," said the portrait of a young witch with dark hair neatly tied back in a bun. "The attack reflection! She’s got your number, Minerva."</p><p>The Headmistress looked like she was ready to tell someone off, though who, at this point, was difficult to choose.</p><p>Her answer came in the form of a head that appeared in the fireplace, the face of a mustachioed old man. Sparrow stumbled backward and nearly fell over a chair. She had never gotten used to that feature of Floo Powder.</p><p>"Minerva!" shouted the old man. "Your wonderful little dragon tamer has been causing us all kinds of trouble again! We’ve had to obliviate muggles all over the place!"</p><p>"Mister Humperdinck. First of all, Witchard Brown is the one person I do not control at the school, nor am I interested in making the attempt. Secondly, I do not enjoy hearing memory charms discussed in my presence. Thirdly, I am currently in a meeting!"</p><p>The head turned to Sparrow. "Ah yes," said Humperdinck. "The Jones girl. Do you know, I’ve been hearing the oddest rumors about her – "</p><p>"Normally I would tell you to address someone directly when you are looking at them," said McGonagall, "but that is irrelevant because this conversation is already over." She tapped the fireplace with her wand. The flames went out and the head vanished.</p><p>"My apologies for that," said McGonagall. She composed herself, and said, "Regarding Filch, I shall have to have some choice words with him. Now. As for your question, Miss Jones." She motioned Sparrow to take a seat at a couch near the fireplace. "A few photographs might aid your comprehension."</p><p>Sparrow sat, and McGonagall sat in a chair before her. She opened the book, a weighty tome full of photographs. Some of them, pictures from what appeared to be the 1940s, waved and smiled. There were earlier photographs that were entirely static.</p><p>"My mother and father," said McGonagall, pointing to one where a carousel was going around and around. Sparrow wasn’t sure which people on it were the mother and father, but politely said nothing.</p><p>"Mother was a witch," continued McGonagall, "and Father was not. She married him without telling him. She had me without telling him. But then, once I started summoning toys to my hand, I suppose she had to let the secret out. And what happened after that…it took years for them to reconcile. Father resented Mother for keeping such a secret so large for so long. Mother resented Father for taking so long to marry her, thus preventing her from telling him about magic."</p><p>"I never knew my grandparents, on either side." She pointed to some of the moving images, which looked like they were from the 1890s. "Mother’s side had disowned her." She pointed to the static images, from about the same time period. "I was not permitted to know Father’s side. These pictures are the only memory I have of them." She sighed. "I grew up without much connection to my heritage. A small sacrifice, I suppose, for the sake of upholding the Statute of Secrecy. Father was the only person in his family permitted to know of Mother’s abilities. He was never permitted to know of her world. That’s the law, for the sake of protecting us from muggles. Let the witch hunts never arise again."</p><p>"She couldn’t tell him straight off?"</p><p>"Legal precedent is that only spouses are permitted to know."</p><p>"This sounds like it wouldn’t make marriages easy."</p><p>"Decidedly not. Nor does the Ministry of Magic employ any marriage counselors for mixed marriages. That would be giving away too much, you see. Nor would a muggle marriage counselor be able to make any headway. Orford Umbridge once told me that he had tried to seek the aid of one, only for the effort to be completely useless because he couldn’t reveal the precise cause of the conflict. He could let his wife Ellen say that it was a conflict over magic, Oh, that was fine – as long as the spouse said nothing to back her up. There’s the rather nasty loophole – you can say what you want but your spouse can’t save you from sounding like a fool, and that is why the Umbridge marriage fell apart."</p><p>"Did you ever regret this kind of secrecy?"</p><p>"After meeting Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington…perhaps."</p><p>"Oh yeah, the nearly-headless guy. I should have asked him earlier, but he seems to favor the Gryffindors, for some reason, so I’ve never really met him. Are you saying he got his head cut off by muggles? How could that even happen?"</p><p>"I was without my wand when they caught me," said the nearly headless Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington, as he floated up through the couch, causing Sparrow to jump out of the way. "Which is precisely why I tell students to always have their wands."</p><p>"Really!" said McGonagall. "Startling students like that. How did you even know we were talking about – " She glanced up at the portrait of Dumbledore. He was missing.</p><p>"Discipline problem," said Sparrow.</p><p>McGonagall glared at the girl.</p><p>"Sorry. Mr. Porpington, please tell me. Why did muggles decide to cut your head off in the first place?"</p><p>"A sad story," said Nick. "It was at the court of King Henry VII – "</p><p>"The court! Of the King!" said Sparrow. "I thought Wizards were hated and feared!"</p><p>"Witches," said Nick. "Not Wizards. Witches were associated with worship of the Devil. Wizards, ah well. You could get yourself a nice appointment as the king’s Court Astrologer. Many Wizarding fortunes were founded upon such a plum position. Alas, if something went wrong…"</p><p>"What happened to make witches get hunted?" said Sparrow.</p><p>"Muggle propaganda," said McGonagall. "Scurillous screeds. Perhaps wizards did not do enough in those years to counteract such lies, in the years when we had the chance to operate more openly." She raised an eyebrow at Nick.</p><p>"I was busy being an astrologer," said Nick. "I was not appointed for my political opinions, my dear young witch. I imagine the King would have cut my head off for venturing such impudence. Anyway. I met lady Grieve. Ah, lady Grieve, such a beautiful young thing, but her teeth were not straight. I elected to fix them. Alas, alas. My spell misfired and I gave her tusks. I was unable to fix the mistake before I was dragged before the king, tried quickly, and beheaded ineptly. I wonder if anyone ever fixed her teeth."</p><p>"Oh yes," said McGonagall. "Oh yes. She was a pretty young thing, except her teeth. How old were you when you were killed, Sir?"</p><p>"Seventy years. Please, my dear Headmistress, I had no prurient designs upon the lady. I only wished to…fix something that I could."</p><p>"Did you ask her?"</p><p>"Erm. No, as a matter of fact, I did not."</p><p>"There you go. And now you can see, Sparrow, why associating with muggles has always been dangerous. No wonder my mother kept her secret for so long. She could not be sure that her husband would attack her, until she knew him well."</p><p>"Now hold on a minute," said a voice from the wall. The portrait of the young witch looked indigant. "It wasn’t always as dangerous as all that. Why, when I was Headmistress everyone in the entire isle was doing magic."</p><p>Sparrow looked at the nameplate on the woman’s frame. <em>Maud McKinnon, AD 999-1035, Headmistress 1034-1035</em>.</p><p>"Everyone?" said Sparrow. Her face brightened.</p><p>"Magic was a thing everyone tried," said Maud. "Only, there were few who actually had the talent, and the rest were reciting things that would never work for them. We trained the talented ones. It wasn’t until the whole row with Slytherin leaving the castle that we began to make a significant distinction between muggles and wizards. Muggles themselves didn’t stop trying to do magic in my lifetime. I’m not sure if they ever did, until…well I wouldn’t know. Nick here makes it sound like it was still common for them to try in his day."</p><p>"It was!" said Nick. "As I traipsed through muggle society I had the opportunity to read many of their texts for summoning demons and preparing spells of invisibility. I laughed at it all, for it was a lot of overcomplicated nonsense. One wonders when they left off that rubbish and turned towards…whatever it is they do now."</p><p>"Discover their own secrets of the world," said Sparrow, "and build bombs that can obliterate an entire countryside in an instant."</p><p>There was a gasp, as of a hundred voices. Sparrow looked up. All the portraits she could see were staring at her now in rapt wonder and fear.</p><p>"That’s impossible," said Nick.</p><p>"That’s insane," said Maud.</p><p>"That was the state of their world," said Dumbledore, "although from what last I heard, they’d tacitly agreed never to use them."</p><p>"And that agreement failed miserably," said McGonagall, "which any of you would know if you bothered to pay attention to what the students say about current affairs."</p><p>"They have their own magic," said Sparrow, "and it is ambitious, as I have been told – but it can be hard, and cruel. I know you’re all worried about me revealing Wizards to the world. After what Cormac told me about their weapons, I don’t want to let the Wizarding world live openly alongside such proven danger. And yet, I burn. I want so badly to be able to share the wonders of our world. Imagine if the muggles knew ghosts existed! So many religious questions would finally be answered! Imagine if children knew there were unicorns! They would grow up more fascinated with the wide world, because they would never have to tell themselves the lie that there is no magic. And yet, they can never know."</p><p>"They can’t do magic," said McGonagall. "They would never be able to do more than look, and be jealous, and angry, and scared."</p><p>"And that is resolutely unfair," said Sparrow. "Imagine if the whole world had magic. Imagine if everyone could fly on carpets and brooms and mortars instead of running around in smoke-belching metal beasts. They never would have had to invent their bombs. They never would have had to invent their furnaces that poisoned the air until the world was left a dessicated ruin. And nobody, in all of Wizarding, ever figured out how to bring magic to the muggles. Did you even bother?"</p><p>She looked up to the paintings. There were people in them, now, besides the headmasters. There was the Fat Lady, there was Sir Cadogan. Perhaps all the portraits in the castle were gathered around her now. Ghosts of all kinds hovered where they would not block the view.</p><p>"We never bothered," said Sir Cadogan, "Because it’s impossible."</p><p>"Tell me that for certain!" shouted Sparrow. "Tell me that any of you, at any point in the entire history of magic, tried to figure out how to give muggles the gift! Tell me that you tried and failed!"</p><p>The portraits mumbled between themselves, but nobody answered.</p><p>"And what do you think would have happened if that had been achieved?" said McGonagall.</p><p>"There would have been no pureblood bullshit," said Sparrow. "Perhaps Salazar Slytherin would never have left. Perhaps there would have been no witch hunts. And Tom Riddle would have grown up to be Tom Riddle, not Lord Voldemort."</p><p>There was a gasp, as of a thousand voices, and the crowd murmured.</p><p>"And I shall tell you what else," said McGonagall. "For, as Harry Potter once told me, he had impressed a Goblin by bothering to dig a grave with a shovel instead of using a wand."</p><p>"Did he <em>really</em>," said Sparrow. "Cormac would be proud of him."</p><p>"Cormac…the McKinnon boy? The lad from the Americas?"</p><p>"He’s from what?"</p><p>"He never told you?"</p><p>"He didn’t tell anyone!"</p><p>"Ah. I wonder why. As for me, I wash my dishes by hand, when I have a mind, in memory of my father. There is something to be said for doing things the hard way, every once in a while, and I am less than impressed with wizards who wave a wand to do everything."</p><p>"But…Magic is so wonderful." Sparrow pouted.</p><p>"And easy to overindulge! Imagine if all of humanity had only to wave a wand to do anything. We would be indolent, fragile. And, perhaps, as hidebound as Wizards are now. Would you have muggles stuck with horsecarts and quills forever?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>McGonagall gave Sparrow a Look.</p><p>"Okay. Maybe not. But internal combustion engines are really loud when they get going."</p><p>"Alas," said McGonagall. "Such is their dirtier technology. But what I know of Muggles indicates that they have uncovered secrets of the universe that Wizards do not know. If everyone was magic, would those secrets have been uncovered at all? Would the basic principles of motion in space be understood? Would we know how large the universe is?"</p><p>"Would we? Wait, Cormac said Professor Sinistra thought the Universe had an edge."</p><p>"She does. I am in a constant quiet battle with the school board over what they think is an appropriate curriculum. And most of the elderly Wizards, who came to this school before I became headmistress, know even less about scientific knowledge. I have lost count of the number of times that a pureblood wizard from one of the old families has told me that there are only four elements."</p><p>"You must be joking."</p><p>"Oh?" McGonagall raised an eyebrow. "When was the last time you heard me joke, Miss Jones?"</p><p>"Um – "</p><p>"You will know it when I do. The point is, there are ways in which we’re a pack of idiots, despite my efforts. Would you wish that upon the entire world?"</p><p>"I would," said Sparrow, "if it meant that the world as you knew it could have survived. But it didn’t, did it? There’s little left of the wild green, now."</p><p>"You are trying to be kind," said McGonagall. "Yet in your kindness you may do things that threaten the world. I am sorry that Hagrid forbade you this topic before I could help you understand it, such that you have been burning for so long. Please." She put her hand on Sparrow’s. "Remember what I told you at the beginning of the school year. You cannot change someone’s life for them. Only they can change their own life. I could force an end to this business with magic, but only you can convince yourself that it might be wrong. And I can tell you that trying to do what you wish, without consulting anyone, will lead you to Sir Mimsy-Porpington’s end, and that is if you’re lucky. If not, many would suffer the same fate, even many people you love."</p><p>"I already lost some of the people I loved," said Sparrow. "Because they could not protect themselves. If they had possessed my abilities, if my abilities were common knowledge instead of a close-guarded secret, then…my friends would not have been targeted, and I would still know them."</p><p>"Is that what this comes down to?" said McGonagall. "Grief propelling you into madness? Many dark wizards have taken the same path."</p><p>"Does this school have counselors of any kind?"</p><p>"I usually handle that business."</p><p>"So, nothing professional."</p><p>"Once long ago," said Nick, "the students told each other that every dark wizard had arisen from the house of Slytherin. I cannot say from my long experience if that has been true. Yet, it is true that nearly every British wizard of the past thousand years has come through our halls, not one of them receiving anything like professional mental care. One wonders if the students who turned to darkness would have taken such paths, if they had been consoled in time."</p><p>"I’m not a dark wizard!" said Sparrow. "I can’t even cast those kind of spells. My wand doesn’t even want to. I’m trying to save people from evil, as I was unable to do years ago."</p><p>"So it seems," said McGonagall. "You would not spread darkness over the land, yet you would shine like the sun. Yet if you shine like the sun, your light may well burn the world to ash, as the real sun has nearly done to the world of muggles."</p><p>"Oh, touché."</p><p>"I should certainly hope so," said McGonagall. "I should certainly hope that I have touched your heart well enough to warn you away from a path of destruction. I wonder if I have. Sometimes I do speak to children who plan to do terrible things in the name of good, like you, and I am able to reassure them that the world is not so terrible as to merit their wrath. Young Rodolphus Carrow would have burned his family’s house down if we had not had the chance to converse. Other times, they refuse to listen, and I can’t understand why, because I am being perfectly reasonable."</p><p>"Did…anything really bad ever happen to them?"</p><p>"To one, I believe. Young Antonio Bolu. So bright, so…driven. So full of himself. Said he would apparate across the sea. Never saw him again. Well, perhaps some ambitions are too great to discourage, and they consume their bearers, like a fire in the bones. You know…Bolu looked a lot like you did."</p><p>"He did?" said Sparrow. "You mean he was short and cute?"</p><p>McGonagall frowned. "No. No no, he was actually rather tall and handsome. I am not speaking of anything outward. No, I mean he was…oddly visible from a great distance."</p><p>"He was what."</p><p>"You could always see him coming from a ways off, and pick out his expression on his face, well before anyone else came into focus. It was like looking through a tiny little telescope wherever he went. Just the oddest thing, and I never thought I’d see it again…and then you came along."</p><p>"Um."</p><p>"And you start going on about the statute of secrecy…I wonder. It is almost as if your very ambitions are shining through your skin, like an electric torch that shines through the finger you place over it."</p><p>"That’s, um. Well. Uh."</p><p>"Do you know, people used to say the very same thing about Gellert Grindlewald?"</p><p>Sparrow shook her head. "No," she said in a voice much squeakier than she expected.</p><p>"They did. Some of them…even Albus, in the beginning…they said he shone like the sun. Well. For Albus that was in more ways than one. I wonder if you will shine as bright as the sun, one day, and burn us all. It would be a tragedy to see someone of your skill and compassion come to the same fate as Grindlewald."</p><p>"Did…did anyone say Tom Riddle was, you know, Visible?"</p><p>McGonagall frowned. "You know, they never did. I never heard anyone say such a thing about him. Even his most devoted followers. Then again, the presence of Voldemort tended to sharpen the senses in the first place…hm. I wonder. I wonder."</p><p>"Wonder what?"</p><p>"What makes the difference. That’s all. Why some with ambitions shine so brightly, and some with equally large ambitions…do not. I know I don’t!"</p><p>"More and more questions," said Sparrow. "Look, this is all very dramatic, but you’re giving me the impression that I need some sensible help here."</p><p>"Oh," said McGonagall, "am I not sensible help?"</p><p>"No, it’s – yes, I mean – I mean doesn’t the Wizarding world have professional counselors anywhere?"</p><p>"Professional in what sense?"</p><p>"I mean like, have they gone through training to practice proper therapy. Have they got a license to provide counsel. Is there a board of people at Saint Mungo’s or wherever that certifies people to do mental health care on a professional basis."</p><p>"I have not heard of such a thing. Not from the Wizarding World."</p><p>Sparrow sighed. "Problem number one, I suppose."</p><p>"My apologies," said McGonagall. "I may indeed have been speaking out of turn there. What is problem two?"</p><p>"Problem two is about the advice you gave me. It’s just like what my father tells me sometimes – that you can’t change someone’s life for them. He always says you can’t give mental health care to someone who refuses it. They have to choose to change. I think the more stubborn children you’ve spoken to decided not to listen to you, and sealed their own fate. You hoped that being reasonable would change them, but in the end the choice came down to them, and they were too full of themselves to listen."</p><p>"The choice comes down to you as well," said Nick. "What have you chosen?"</p><p>"I am willing to be less hasty and more circumspect, at the very least."</p><p>Nick did not look pleased with this answer. "I had hoped you would be willing to give up this mad quest entirely."</p><p>"Is it mad?" said McGonagall. "Madly done, if not guided properly, but mad in itself? I cannot say. I have given you what warning I can, child, and that is all I can do. Goodness! I go too far as it is. I, the Headmistress of this school, endorsing criminal behavior? Such a thing is not done!" She winked. "Now let us say that we shall have no more talk of your mad ambitions. I am officially forbidding the topic of violating the International Statute of Secrecy." She winked again. "You are forbidden to discuss the subject with students or professors." Wink.</p><p>"Something in your eye?"</p><p>"It’s dreadful, I can’t seem to get it out. Oh, and feel free to speak to me any time you wish, about what troubles you. I would hear more about what happened to your friends."</p><p>"Bad memories."</p><p>The headmistress put her hand on Sparrow’s. "Tell me if you wish, when you wish. Not before then."</p><p>"Perhaps when the moon is full," said Sparrow.</p><p>"And I will admit," said the Headmistress, gazing up at the portraits, "our world does have its manifest cruelties. You ought to talk to Argus Filch about his life as a squib."</p><p>"A what?"</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>"Miss Jones," said Filch, floating in the moonlight. "I told you there would be consequences if you tried this again."</p><p>"I’m not here to sneak past you," said Sparrow. "I’m here for you."</p><p>Filch’s expression froze. He blinked. "Me?"</p><p>"I wanted to ask you about what your life was like as a squib."</p><p>For the first time in a long time, Filch’s face softened. It was entirely possible that nobody had ever asked him this question before. "Well, erm…I mean…" He squinted. "Did you lose a bet or something? Are you planning to ask me a personal question and blab about it to the whole school? I bet that’s what this is."</p><p>"I just want to know," said Sparrow.</p><p>"Oh yeah? Why?"</p><p>"Well, I figure if I know why people are born as squibs, then I can have an idea of how to make muggles into Wizards."</p><p>"Oh I see," said Filch. "You’re not here for me. You’re here for your mad plan. Well forget it. I’m not telling you anything."</p><p>"Please?"</p><p>"I have never," said Filch, "Ever, in my entire life, yielded to a student who said ‘please.’ So run along."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>The train ride to London was largely uneventful, in the sense that there was no possibility of it having anything that could be called an event, because nobody in the entire student body wanted to sit in a compartment with her. Some of them started to, but then they realized who they were about to sit near, muttered implausible excuses, and fled. The train ride was thus spent by staring out the window at the passage of dull grey countryside.</p><p>It was not until near the end of the journey that Violet Brown deigned to enter her compartment.</p><p>"I’m sorry for not getting to you sooner," said Violet, as she sat down on the opposite bench. "I was taking a survey. Let’s see…" She fished a paper out of her pocket and unfolded it. "61 percent of the student body thinks you’re barking mad, thirty percent believes you’re an idiot, five percent believe you’ve been possessed by Peeves, two point nine seven percent think you’re a muggle spy, and one percent want the Ministry of Magic to arrest you immediately. Zero point zero three percent are of the opinion that you are on to something interesting, and wish to see where this is all going."</p><p>"Good heavens," said Sparrow. "There is a storm between my light and the gentle earth."</p><p>"How’s that?"</p><p>"Never mind. I’m interested in that last bit. Who is it?"</p><p>"Me," said Violet. "And Cormac. Jill’s on the fence."</p><p>"Oh," said Sparrow. "I would have expected you, with your exhausting knowledge, to tell me that I had no chance."</p><p>"Please. This is a topic that I’ve never even heard of. How could I resist looking into it? And Cormac’s interest is piqued because he wants to get into the nature of magic itself. Something to do with Wandlore, I’ll be bound. And Jill is torn because she thinks she isn’t supposed to totally disavow you. Something to do with her wand. Oh, and she loves you."</p><p>"I knew that much. But she didn’t want to be with me in the train car? Nor Cormac?"</p><p>"There is such a thing as keeping up appearances for the sake of staying safe," said Violet. "I’m only getting away with talking to you right now because everyone thinks I’m here to make fun of you. So, I am giving you a directive. Don’t contact any of us over the holidays. It might look suspicious. Wait until we’re back at the castle when we have plenty of secret passages to use."</p><p>The train stopped.</p><p>"Got to go," said Violet. "Remember. Until the holidays are over, you never heard of me."</p><p>Sparrow pouted. "But I like you."</p><p>"Officially, you don’t. Ta ta." She left the compartment, joining the mass of students shuffling through the corridors.</p><p>As Sparrow brought her bags down and waited for the line of students to end, she wondered about Violet’s admonition. What did she mean about looking suspicious? Did the ministry consider her a threat already?</p><p>Sparrow departed the train and, stepping out of the barrier between Platform 19 ¾ and Queen’s Cross, greeted her parents with a look of pity in her eyes. They would never have the chance to see her school, nor her world, not as long as the Ministry stood there like a menacing door guard. She embraced them, and wondered if she had already got in over her head.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Listen to Your Mother</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sparrow's parents know what they're talking about.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The greater portion of London’s Old City was on stilts in the shallows, such as had been constructed by the acting muggle government at one point, though the houses atop them had not. Those were rather ramshackle, being left to the devices of the inhabitants, and were composed primarily of debris from the wreckage of the old city, assorted driftwood, and the cast-off building materials scavenged from the worksites of houses in New City. These were more difficult to come by lately. There was little enough of the quality material to go around these days, and those who commanded money and power guarded their building materials more jealously than in previous decades.</p><p>The stilts had been the creation of the previous regime, yet this one had cared more for building new things than maintaining them, and the new regime could not be said to be interested in the well-being of anyone who didn’t have Connections.</p><p>Likewise the greenhouses also went to rust, on occasion, especially in those areas that were designated as staple crops for the poor.</p><p>Yet neither they nor the stilts ever fell, for reasons no muggle understood.</p><p>Sparrow berated herself for ever thinking of wasting a winter holiday break at Hogwarts. There was much in this city that needed her. If she had to wade into chill water to make sure that the citizens could stay safe and dry, so be it. She had enough time in these two weeks to see to the most urgent columns.</p><p>She had not expected to see a figure in the shadows, down here in the filthy water. Who in their right mind would be waiting for anyone under the platforms? Perhaps a clandestine meeting? Perhaps something she should not be involved in. They could not harm her, not as long as she had her wand. Could they even see her? But she could see them, well enough.</p><p>The shadowy figure extended their hand and shouted, "Stupefy!"</p><p>Sparrow’s shield was up before she had even drawn her wand.</p><p>"So," said the voice of an adult woman, "it is Sparrow Jones after all. Greetings, Sparrow." She bowed. "You’re already on watch with the Improper Use of Magic office. Are you trying to give them more evidence against you?"</p><p>"I am here to fix the columns, such as nobody else seems to bother doing," said Sparrow. "And if the Improper Use of magic office isn’t going to come straight out and arrest me, or even warn me, I should think they’re being much too coy about enforcing the law. I should think they are waiting to bring the hammer down later, just to be cruel. What’s it to you, anyway? Who are you?"</p><p>"Lumos."</p><p>The figure’s face was revealed. A woman in her mid thirties, it seemed, robed in grey, with reddish hair, worn slightly long and quite messy. She had sharp features, and her eyes were not very kind.</p><p>"I’m sorry," said Sparrow, "I still don’t know who you are."</p><p>"I guess that’s a good thing," said the woman. "Wouldn’t want to be recognizable in my line of work, would I? Ah, but Wizard detectives have it easy when it comes to disguise! Not like muggle ones. Heh. You don’t even know if this is my real face or not."</p><p>"Do you <em>have</em> a real face?"</p><p>"Nope."</p><p>"Do you have a name?"</p><p>"Ruby. Detective Ruby Lupin Potter, at your service. So to speak."</p><p>Sparrow crossed her arms. "For a detective, you are being awfully chummy and straightforward with me. If I didn’t know better, I would say you were...trying to distract me." She whirled around and raised her shield.</p><p>There was no one there.</p><p>She whirled back around to Ruby. "Alright," said Sparrow, folding her arms, "go on then. Laugh at me. You made me look."</p><p>Ruby only smiled faintly. "Not here to arrest you," she said, putting her wand back into her pocket. "Just giving you a warning."</p><p>"A cop is giving me a warning."</p><p>"Detective!"</p><p>"Auror detective?"</p><p>"Private detective," said Ruby. "But I will admit, most of my work is as a consultant for the Aurors."</p><p>"So someone adjacent to the cops is giving me a warning. Why?"</p><p>"Because I’m giving you a goddamn chance," said Ruby. "You’re what, fifteen?"</p><p>"Fourteen and a half," said Sparrow.</p><p>"Right, right. Well, think of it this way. Grandfather remembers the utter nonsense that was his trial at age fifteen, but the Department of Magical Law Enforcement doesn’t. So Grandfather always makes sure I remember. I wouldn’t exactly like to be doing police work against minors anyway. So – the Head Auror tells me that he wants me to collect evidence for your arrest, and I figure, if I can get you to drop this Statute of Secrecy shit ahead of time – "</p><p>"Not happening."</p><p>"I don’t want to have to give my evidence to them, kid. I’ve been stalling as long as I could. It’s not going to work forever."</p><p>"Did the Wizengamot ever get rid of the chair with the chains?"</p><p>"They got rid of the spikes."</p><p>"But not the chains or the cage."</p><p>"Nnnnnnno."</p><p>"Well then." Sparrow put her arms behind her and put on her best Puppy Dog Eyes. "You don’t want to arrest a sweet innocent widdle baby like me, do you?"</p><p>Ruby did not look impressed. "I don’t make arrests, kid. The Aurors do. As for them...yes. They do."</p><p>"But I haven’t even done anything yet!"</p><p>"Your recent outburst makes people think you’re going to do something." Ruby leaned against a pillar. "Then again, half the government thinks you’re a raving loon, and not much of a real threat after all."</p><p>"And the other half?"</p><p>"They think Hogwarts can’t contain you anymore. And some of them think you’re about to go off bang."</p><p>"I think I did already," said Sparrow.</p><p>"Oh no," said Ruby. "No, that’s not what I mean."</p><p>"What do you – "</p><p>"You’ve been a walking violation of the prohibition on use of underage magic for years."</p><p>Sparrow blinked.</p><p>"I mean," said Ruby, "It’s not like you’ve actually done anything visible to muggles yet. But every time I go into the office, the Underage Magic Alert is blinking. I used to think it was broken or something, but no, apparently it started going off like that years ago, and even now it comes on at the summer and winter holiday times – "</p><p>"And you rush over to the scene of the crime and discover that I haven’t done anything? Am I causing a big hassle?"</p><p>"No," said Ruby.</p><p>Sparrow pouted. "Not even a <em>little</em> hassle?"</p><p>"Once upon a time you made it impossible to tell who was doing magic when. But we’ve got a switchboard now so we can tell who’s doing what. Your light is still on all the damn time."</p><p>"Oh," said Sparrow. "So, like, if I were to go home and practice my wandwork...Wait, would you be peeking in through my windows?"</p><p>"My methods are confidential," said Ruby. "But no. No windows. You are fifteen –"</p><p>"Fourteen and a half," said Sparrow.</p><p>"Same concept!" said Ruby. "And I’m not looking at anything you do inside your house because it makes absolutely no sense when it’s contained within the house, there’s two magical children in it, everyone in the neighborhood avoids you – "</p><p>"Oh yes," said Sparrow. "Just what I <em>didn’t</em> want to talk about. So let’s change the subject. How long has the stupid light been blinking?"</p><p>"Six years?" said Ruby. "Give or take a few months."</p><p>Sparrow thought back to what might have happened six years ago. She did not have to think for very long.</p><p>She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath.</p><p>"Are you alright?" said Ruby.</p><p>Sparrow opened her eyes. "No," she said. "No, I am absolutely not alright. I have not been alright since I was eight years old. Anyone in the Ministry could have bothered to give me and the neighborhood some kind of fucking counseling and all they did was Obliviate the lot of them and leave me and my family looking like fools who were deluded about the danger to them all, preventing them from keeping their own children safe. So why don’t you send a message to the Head Auror telling him he lost my allegiance years ago?"</p><p>"Sparrow, that wasn’t – the Obliviators aren’t his department. And I don’t have as much influence with the Ministry as you think."</p><p>"I don’t care!" shouted Sparrow. "I don’t give a damn! You’re still in contact with them! So go back to them and tell the Aurors and the Obliviators that they can eat hot shit! Tell them I don’t care about the law anymore! I don’t care about any law!"</p><p>"Do you care about people using violence to force you to follow the law?"</p><p>"Nothing gets through my shield."</p><p>"Do you care about people doing violence to your loved ones to force you to follow the law?"</p><p>"I’ll make my shield as big as it needs to be."</p><p>"Have you mastered that trick yet?"</p><p>Sparrow shook her head.</p><p>"You may have to." Ruby sighed. "Look. It sounds as though the people who enforce the law did terrible things to you. I am sorry for whatever happened to your neighborhood. But that doesn’t mean your personal grief gets to break the laws down, when that would cause grief to so many others. Do you know what happens without law?"</p><p>"Everyone gets to do what they want?"</p><p>"For a little while," said Ruby. "And then the people who are bigger and tougher and meaner start conquering the smaller and nicer people, one by one. And strong people like you run the world. And there is no justice, because those who lord unrestrained power over others become cruel, even if they were kind before. That is why we have laws. It’s hard to get rid of that impulse – but you can make a government to take care of it responsibly. Some would say that the best government is one that has the monopoly on violence and constantly forgets to do any violence."</p><p>Sparrow did not meet Ruby’s gaze. "Who makes sure that the people enforcing the monopoly are nice?"</p><p>"Their bosses?" said Ruby.</p><p>"Are you nice?"</p><p>"Sometimes I’m not. Sometimes I can’t be."</p><p>"Are you fair?"</p><p>"I try to be."</p><p>Sparrow looked up into Ruby’s eyes. "Don’t try it. Just do it."</p><p>"Kid, you’ve got a lot of bold and simplistic ideas of how the world works."</p><p>"And that’s one of the ways a world changes," said Sparrow. "Some dummy like me comes along and ignores all the rules that are just suggestions. Even if they’re intelligent suggestions. Sometimes they bowl right through everyone’s advice like it’s bowling pins."</p><p>"Are you going to do that?"</p><p>"Oh, well, I surely wouldn’t say such a thing in front of an officer of the law, would I?"</p><p>"You kind of did already."</p><p>"And what was that about me being powerful?"</p><p>"You’re a magical beacon of your own," said Ruby. "I don’t know how that happened – "</p><p>"Maybe I do." In that moment, everything in Sparrow’s vision gained a golden tint.</p><p>Then it all looked blue. She blinked. The effect disappeared, leaving Ruby looking deeply disturbed.</p><p>"What the hell was that?" said Ruby.</p><p>"You saw it?"</p><p>"Of course I saw it! Your eyes started glowing!" She took a step back. "This is above my pay grade. Hopefully not something that will turn out to be something for the Aurors after all. Look, just…go home and don’t explode, okay?"</p><p>"Explode?"</p><p>"Well what else do you think is happening?"</p><p>"I don’t know," said Sparrow. "But…Ms. Ruby, can you get the Ministry to help out here?"</p><p>"It’s Ms. Potter," said Ruby. "And I feel like someone should have helped you a while ago."</p><p>"Yeah no kidding!" said Sparrow. Her world went golden again, for a moment. She sighed. "But that’s not what I mean. I mean, if I’m not allowed to fix the columns here…can’t you get an adult to do it?"</p><p>Ruby looked pained. "I feel like that’s something you should have asked yourself before you got into this mess." She turned her head to the columns. "And as for all this mess…we do have our ways of helping the world. But not usually at this level. It would be too much interference."</p><p>"Come on!" said Sparrow. "These people have nothing! All they get from the London government is a grain ration and a hearty ho-hum!"</p><p>"They have each other," said Ruby. "How else do you think they survive?"</p><p>"They DON'T!" shouted Sparrow. "God damn it, it's not just about the columns alright? These people keep disappearing mysteriously in their sleep and I <em>know</em> that's a Wizard problem!"</p><p>"Wait," said Ruby, "is that why you're down here? To guard against those things?"</p><p>"I would have to be up on the platforms by night," said Sparrow. "That didn't go well when I tried it. That's the job of the Ministry, that's the job they all signed up for and <em>someone isn't doing it</em> so if you don't get one of them to stand guard then – " Sparrow's world went golden once more. "Then so help me I <em>will</em> explode."</p><p>"Fine!" said Ruby. "Fine, I'll try to make that clear to them! Just stay out of these waters, alright? You're way too young to handle what you think you can handle."</p><p>With that, she disappeared in a blink.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>"You may have been doing them a disservice," said Mother, as the family sat around the table. There was Father, a man with more lines on his face than his age would suggest; there was Mother, a woman with more grey hair than her age would suggest; there was Robin, a girl of ten who had no qualms about floating the chickpea bowl over to her plate; there was Lark, a boy of six who was not yet skilled enough to effectively resist Robin’s commandeering of the bowl. It wobbled dangerously. Father glared at both of them, and Robin set the bowl down with her own two hands.</p><p>"I don’t see how that’s possible," said Sparrow. "Those columns are made of wood. They rot all the time. If I didn’t fix them – "</p><p>"Someone would end up in the drink," said Father, "and they would all remember they had to maintain their platforms."</p><p>"With what resources?"</p><p>"Driftwood. Before you ask, yes, that is what they’ve always used."</p><p>"And do they build the nails out of driftwood as well?"</p><p>"Pegs. Yes. Easier to replace than nails. What I’m saying is, if they knew there was a mysterious miracle upholding their work, they might begin to rely on it, and if you wanted to be honest about what you were doing they would almost certainly come to rely on you, and you could never live anywhere but London because you always had to shore up the timbers. Do you want that?"</p><p>Sparrow huffed. "Maybe if they could all do magic then they wouldn’t need me."</p><p>"I don’t know," said Mother. "Considering what I’ve had to put up with in this house, I’d just as soon nobody had any magic."</p><p>All three children gasped in offended shock.</p><p>Mother winked. "But then the world would have even less color than it does now, I suppose."</p><p>"Why don’t they have magic?" said Robin. "Mum, why can’t you do magic?"</p><p>"I wasn’t born with the gift," said Mother.</p><p>"That’s not fair."</p><p>"Yeah," said Lark. "That’s not fair. Everyone should have magic. It’s fun."</p><p>Mother and Father gave each other a look. Sparrow knew that look. It said <em>quick, do something.</em></p><p>"I have the feeling," said Mother, "that children are keenly aware of what is and isn’t fair, sometimes more so than adults."</p><p>"Yeah!" said Sparrow.</p><p>"However," said Mother, "sometimes when children say something should be fair, what they mean is that things should be unfair in their favor." She gave Sparrow a searching look.</p><p>"I don’t see how I’m trying to be unfair in my favor," said Sparrow. "I’m trying to reduce the elitist exclusivity of Wizards."</p><p>"And yet magic does not seem to allow electricity to exist in its midst," said Mother.</p><p>"Our lights work perfectly fine, don’t they?"</p><p>"Except when you get near them. I can tell you’re coming when the light flickers."</p><p>"Oh, touché."</p><p>"I can turn on a light just fine!" said Robin.</p><p>"Maybe you’re not as powerful as me," said Sparrow with a grin.</p><p>"Oh yes I am!"</p><p>"Oh no you’re not."</p><p>"Oh knock it off," said Father.</p><p>"If you gave the whole world magic all at once right now," said Mother, "and there was so much magic that all the electricity disappeared, what would all the children say who were no longer able to watch their television shows?"</p><p>"Um. Hadn’t thought of that."</p><p>"What would all the muggle scientists say when they were no longer able to use their wondrous optical machines and atom-crackers?"</p><p>"They would be angry."</p><p>"And what of all the hospital nurses whose machines for keeping people alive stopped working?"</p><p>"They would be very angry."</p><p>"Well then."</p><p>"Do I have to give up my plans then?"</p><p>"I’m not saying that," said Mother.</p><p>"You’re not?" said Father.</p><p>"No. What I’m saying, Sparrow, is if you are going to let the whole world have magic, I suggest you be gentle and slow, and ideally you let the people receiving your wondrous gift be involved in the process. Lord knows there have been too many good things ruined by people who thought they knew what other people needed, without ever asking them."</p><p>"The Headmistress told me about that. But how often does that actually happen?"</p><p>"One of my ancestors in Senegal," said Father, "had that sort of thing happen to her with the Peace Corps. They came in and built her village a school. The only problem was, they built the school. The villagers did not. So the whole thing lapsed after a while because nobody really cared about it. If the village had known they wanted a school, and asked for a little bit of help <em>from</em> the Peace Corps, then it might have gone better."</p><p>"Okay, but that’s only one – "</p><p>"I’ll give you another example. I had another ancestor in Mozambique that opened a shoe shop. Only, he did it right before people from the United States started donating old shoes to Africa. Free shoes versus not-free shoes – "</p><p>"Sounds like no contest."</p><p>"Indeed not. His shop was ruined, and that branch of my family tree remained poor for longer than it should have. I’ll give you another good example. My grandfather managed to survive the Ethiopian Famine in the 1980s – "</p><p>"Are all your examples from Africa?"</p><p>"Yes," said Father and Mother at the same time.</p><p>"Why would – "</p><p>"Lots of well-meaning people in the Americas," said Father. "Now, my grandfather survived by doing things I won’t mention. And supposedly there was this big concert in the United States that raised all kinds of money to solve the problem, and got all kinds of resources, and sent it to Ethiopia. And my grandfather says he never saw it. Why? Because the warlords stole it all. The folks from the US dumped it all on Ethiopia without bothering to figure out where exactly it would go, or pick trustworthy distributors, or protect it in any way. So." He harrumphed.</p><p>"There is something else to consider," said Mother.</p><p>"What might that be?" said Father.</p><p>"What strings come attached to such gifts?"</p><p>"Come now," said Father. "I like to think these people had good intentions, at least."</p><p>"Some of them," said Mother. "And yet, they might have brought the strings along with them in spite of their intentions! So Sparrow, you might do the best thing for all the world, or try to, and wind up accidentally lording over all the earth because you decided to take all responsibility for yourself."</p><p>"Like the Roman Empire," said Robin.</p><p>Father looked surprised. "Read all the way through that book already have you?"</p><p>"Halfway," said Robin. "You expect me to read a thousand pages in a week?"</p><p>Father glanced at Sparrow.</p><p>"I will pretend to be an outlier," said Sparrow.</p><p>"Thank you," said Robin.</p><p>"Well," said Father, "I hope that your mother and I have impressed upon you the dangers of your intentions. And that you now understand what happens when you go around deciding what people need, instead of supporting the efforts that they’re already making. Genies and fairy Godmothers grant the wishes people ask for, not the ones they think their recipients need."</p><p>"And what would muggles ask for, dear Father?"</p><p>"Predictable weather. More gentle rain in the summer, less in the winter. More trees and less heat. More fertile soil. That sort of thing."</p><p>"And what do you think muggle children would ask for?"</p><p>"More candy and later bedtimes, I expect."</p><p>"And?"</p><p>"You sound like you have something in mind."</p><p>"They’d ask for magic! Every damn one of them! They’re already asking for it! My old friends used to make up stories with magic all the time. Because all the books kids read have wizards and witches and fairies and dragons, and then they have to grow up with the complete lie that those things don’t exist! I think they are very well primed to accept what I’d be offering."</p><p>Mother put a hand on Sparrow’s shoulder. "Child. Remember the first magic you did. You saw the wonder and the terror of it in the same moment, at much too early an age. Would you visit that upon others?"</p><p>"At least I had the chance to see the wonder," said Sparrow. "Unlike all my friends. Their ignorance didn’t save them. And it doesn’t save anyone else. I hear stuff about how the Ministry has to have people go around all the time cleaning up messes made by magical beasts, using memory charms on everyone."</p><p>"And do you think the parents of these children would appreciate knowing that they couldn’t control their children anymore?"</p><p>"They’re going to have to learn that at some point, right? At some point you have to let your kid go."</p><p>"I’m learning it right now," said Father.</p><p>"There is something else to consider as well," said Mother. "Giving magic to the whole world, well, it might end the purpose of the Ministry of Magic, wouldn’t it? Or at least upend it."</p><p>"I certainly wouldn’t mind seeing it upended," said Father. He and Mother shared a look between them, a look that was quite different than their usual genteel detachment.</p><p>Robin looked from Father to Mother, her face wondering and worried. "Why?" she said.</p><p>Father closed his eyes and sighed. "A story for when you are older, child, and entering school. Not now. Now, let us simply be thankful that we have each other."</p><p>And the rest of the meal passed in tense silence.</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>The house of the Joneses was nice. It was not fancy, but it was nice. It was a solid house on solid foundations, it had two whole stories and running water and a private kitchen and a separate bedroom for the children, and it was in a neighborhood of nice houses just like it. Mother had made plenty of Connections, and she had managed to get her family an allotment for a nice house on a private lot, in far fewer years than it normally took. And the family had enough to purchase Christmas gifts.</p><p>Sparrow did not know what to think of Christmas gifts. They were nice toys, and all, but compared to the thousand wonders of the Wizarding world they tended to pale in comparison. Especially the electric toys. It had taken her parents a few years to realize why those never worked for her. The sort of gift Sparrow usually appreciated was tubes of paint. Not simply because of their rarity. You could do magic to wash the dishes, you could do magic to take out the garbage, you could do magic to keep mice out of the house, mow the lawn, shine your shoes, tidy a room. And a wand could make a brush move. But it couldn’t come up with the idea of where to move it. That was the job of the artist.</p><p>Perhaps, in paint, there was a point of connection between muggles and wizards. A place where they had even footing. Then again, Wizard art tended to move, so maybe that wasn’t a fair competition after all. Then again, she enjoyed Muggle paintings more because the damned things stayed put.</p><p>Still, sometimes a magical flourish was a nice touch. On Christmas morning when it was time for the children to open their presents, and all the family sat around, each with their box in their lap, Sparrow elected to open hers by waving her hand over the paper. <em>Rip</em>!</p><p>She discovered to her dismay that the gift was a stack of comics from decades ago, and she had torn the cover of the top one. Father looked indignant, and her siblings giggled.</p><p>"Never mind," said Father. "Never mind. The story is more important. It’s not like the whole idea of selling them in mint condition for lots of money ever made sense, and even less so now."</p><p>Robin got the tube of paint this time. Red paint. Lark got a Superball, a muggle toy that had been made circa 1991. Mother gave Father a Look. He shrugged.</p><p>Sparrow said her thanks, and silently wished a little blessing of priceless-object-avoidance upon the Superball. She had no idea if that had ever worked but what she was really wishing that her wand (which was always on her person, of course) would figure it out for her. It was a spell of protection, after all. Then she picked up her comics, gingerly, and took them upstairs to read. She flopped down on the bed and opened one.</p><p>Superhero comics.</p><p>Seemed a bit redundant, these days. She’d already become a superhero. Reading about them was kind of like reading about her own life, only these people were adults who liked to beat people up in the name of Fighting Crime. Seemed like the kind of thing that was more in line with Jill’s style. And look at this! They went around blowing things up and cracking the street and rescuing cats from trees and thumbing their noses at police officers, and all without a by-your-leave, operating as if there were nothing in their world that even resembled the Ministry of Magic.</p><p>Sort of like Sparrow fixing support columns and greenhouse roofs without asking.</p><p>But what she did, what she wanted to do, was constructive, supportive, and defensive. These louts were largely destructive. Sparrow didn’t buy it for a second when the text said the falling building was abandoned. The one it crashed into surely wasn’t. Really, the utter nerve of these people.</p><p>Sort of like her deciding the entire structure of Wizarding life had to be swept away.</p><p>But the structure of Wizarding life was confining, distorting, warping. It had done terrible things to the Headmistress’ parents, and it was stifling her at home. Perhaps it needed to go.</p><p>How that was to be achieved, Sparrow did not know. She had to be considerate, to be thoughtful of others, as Jill had stipulated. She had to take their opinions into account, and in general give them the things they already wanted, as her Father had stipulated. Including muggles. But that would require talking to muggles about the situation, outside of her family, which would violate the Statute of Secrecy, no two ways about it. To make it clear to muggles beyond a shadow of a doubt that what they hoped for was real. And that was what the Statute of Secrecy was supposed to prevent.</p><p>What an awful confinement, that could not be ended gently without incurring the wrath of her confiners. Then again, such people would never let confinement end gently in the first place, would they? Not if their galleons depended on it.</p><p>And yet. There was, it seemed, one avenue to which the Ministry was totally blind, the way guards of a perimeter assume that nobody will come through through the nasty thorn bushes, or the way the French assumed the Germans couldn’t get through the Ardennes forest. From what Sparrow had heard Jocasta tell her, the Ministry had no real understanding of how many unregistered animagi existed, because they assumed nobody was stupid enough to attempt the process without openly seeking aid from qualified professionals. So that path was totally unguarded, except by its own mortal peril.</p><p>If Sparrow could achieve this goal, such a thing would prove very useful indeed.</p><p>Time to take the first step.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>END OF PART 1</strong>
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